there are subtle nuances in every single one of those EXCELSIORS, I'll have you LOL

hahahahaha

"Then he started barking like the puppies awaiting their German Shepard father to come back to the kennel."

Man, it turns out I really remember nothing of The Jungle outside descriptions of men cutting their hands into pulp and getting pussy gangrene in their bleeding eye sockets.

― the new dire homonomoreboobsativity (Eric H.)

this is just such a great post

what is actual money? like dollar bills?

― Mordy, Tuesday, July 17, 2012 9:32 AM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you know money you can use it to buy things, if youre poor and you get some youre not poor anymore

― lag∞n, Tuesday, July 17, 2012 9:23 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i always love to see an old fashioned barber's pole. but the novelty would wear off pretty quickly if i had one tattooed on my face.

― Call Surgeon General C. Everett Koop. Poo-poo-pa-doop. (stevie), Tuesday, July 17, 2012 3:08 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i feel the same way about boobs

― mookieproof, Tuesday, July 17, 2012 3:43 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

here's another clue for you lames
the table was james

― da croupier, Tuesday, July 17, 2012 1:44 PM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

:D

wau

that is outstanding

also pleasing synergy btwn post + M@tt's dn

Obviously everyone's entitled to their opinion but the three people who voted for Love, Actually need to be dragged from their homes and beaten for that particular opinion.

― Get wolves (DL), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 11:34 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

going through their "100 books every man should read" list and i'm just gonna go ahead and guess that there is one female author on the entire list and that it's you-know-who

― moesha my reflection (donna rouge), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 3:11 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

rhymes with shmamille shmaglia? xp

― goole, Wednesday, July 18, 2012 3:12 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

voldemort?

shmamille shmaglia, hasenpfeffer incorporated

^^ that was my first thought too

hahahahaha

We're gonna do it...

ha fucking great minds, it took me an extra while to sort out that joke thks to L&S

^^ that was my first thought too

― hot sauce delivery device (mh),

slight edit:

Love Battery owns

― that one guy (loves laboured breathing), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cause the store wouldn't buy it back

― Barack 2 Chainz Obama (some dude), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:32 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's a pretty tortured zing there

― that one guy (loves laboured breathing), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:34 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

doesn't love laboured wordplay, apparently

― Barack 2 Chainz Obama (some dude), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 2:37 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahahaha you turn away from the thread for one second

I hate when ol dladies bend over and they have white panties on that are showing through their whit4e skirt and they DONT say "enjoyin the view? hehehhe"

― The Cheerfull Turtle (Latham Green), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 3:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i already pre-ordered the vinyl but its not worth $40 + $26 shipping from relapse that its cost me. Certainly not top 10 album of year material, but the good tracks are really good.

― Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, July 18, 2012 12:47 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

holy shit 66 dollars for a baroness. you could buy like 33 saxon records for that money.

― scott seward, Wednesday, July 18, 2012 1:02 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I saw a car with a license plate that said I<3YANIV the other day (was an actual heart bc california lets you have cool shit on your license plate like stars and hearts)

― johnathan lee riche$ (mayor jingleberries), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:12 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

would be cool if someone with an ASSAF license plate crashed right into him just as you saw that

― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:28 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If 19-year-old you had been asked by NPR to check out an a classic released 3 years before your birth...
a) what album would it be? Rumors
b) how would you have described your previous familiarity (or lack thereof) with the artist? Are they the same as John Denver?
c) what stupid nice thing would you have said about it? I bet my dad would like it.
d) what stupid mean thing would you have said about it? It sounds like old people music.
e) what contemporary artist (At the time you were 19) would you have claimed to prefer? FLESH OF MY FLESH BLOOD OF MY BLOOD

― uncondensed milky way (remy bean), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:55 PM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark

in settings, you can choose the person/thing you rescue. by default it's a lady, but you can also choose a man or a dog. you can also choose to rotate between the three. that's what i chose, so that every level i end up smoochin' a lady or a man or a dog. it's whatever, i'm just a spelunker lookin' for smooches wherever i can get 'em

― your friend, (Z S), Wednesday, July 18, 2012 9:03 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

Haha I love that game.

who's Klosterman btw or do i.. not want to know?

I'm sure someone else could describe him better than me but he's basically a long-time stoner journalist who writes half-baked theories at length before ultimately concluding that he thinks they're worthless or that he really doesn't have an opinion, priding himself on how underdeveloped his own thoughts are. Y'know, the guy who writes a five-page essay on a band he's never heard that ultimately turns into stories about listening to Van Halen records while hung over 25 years ago. He does occassionally write some brilliant stuff, but you really have to dig for it.

― frogbs, Thursday, July 19, 2012 9:58 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

while...hung?

― Barack 2 Chainz Obama (some dude), Thursday, July 19, 2012 10:02 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I remember renting Basic and my friend was so incensed by the end I had to pull the DVD out of his hand and he wound up throwing a chair across the room instead.

― Legendary General Cypher Raige (Gukbe), Sunday, July 15, 2012 1:06 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark

Basic is excelsior-worthy start to finish imo.

it's kinda lol but mostly sad that someone who by all means should be enjoying a life of cultish adulation for something very silly that probably doesn't take much effort is clearly just a miserable, angry guy all the time

― Barack 2 Chainz Obama (some dude), Thursday, July 19, 2012 1:05 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

which chris are we talking about now?

― da croupier, Thursday, July 19, 2012 1:10 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The followup:

--

?? idgi

― wack nerd zinging in the dead of night (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, July 19, 2012 11:49 AM (1 hour ago)

http://i.imgur.com/zi7hd.gif

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, July 19, 2012 11:50 AM (1 hour ago)

its a little ott but i get it

― heated debate over derpy hooves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, July 19, 2012 11:55 AM (1 hour ago)

hey morbius, we can be a crimefighting team! with capes and everything!

― Vic Perry, Thursday, July 19, 2012 5:27 PM (38 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol dude u new here huh

― lag∞n, Thursday, July 19, 2012 4:29 PM (1 second ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

never heard of this dude before yesterday -- it is weirdly fascinating and lol-but-sad.

i guess this is 'the long tail'

― mookieproof, Thursday, July 19, 2012 6:45 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you mean poop?

― wack nerd zinging in the dead of night (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, July 19, 2012 6:46 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

i watch food net on the gym machine (takes my mind off the pain) and yesterday giada made superbowl snacks for the hunky hub and his buds. adorable little hors d'oeuvres/finger food! yagottabekiddinme.com

― demolition with discretion (m coleman), Sunday, February 5, 2012 8:20 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark

i put this on my facebook a while back. kind of my favorite.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/545709_10150850060246163_205022721_n.jpg

― scott seward, Saturday, July 21, 2012 5:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

also, is the guy next to jesus supposed to be a common everyday christian, or is he actually the antichrist/devil? the antichrist comes in a form that no one would expect, according to the award winning Left Behind series, and i could see him tempting jesus a la Last Temptation of Christ. "i could make all of these jeering communists go away right now, jesus. we could rule the world together, me as dictator for life, and you as my principal deputy."

― your friend, (Z S), Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:20 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"you could be wearing a suit right now as well"

― your friend, (Z S), Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:21 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"you could have the same haircut as me, jesus. it works well in any situation, offending no one"

― your friend, (Z S), Saturday, July 21, 2012 3:21 PM (8 minutes ago)

^<3

Theatre security has always seemed pretty lax to me--though I usually go to matinees.

I remember watching a movie in Memphis and a guy in the row in front of me kept lighting up cigarettes. People in the audience yelled at him, but no theatre employees did anything about it. After about a half hour of him smoking, two young guys came down and beat the shit out of him, picked him up and threw him into a row of seats. No security showed up. No cops.

― Listen to this, dad (President Keyes), Sunday, 22 July 2012 14:35 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

What movie?

― how's life, Sunday, 22 July 2012 14:38 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thank You For Not Smoking

― a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 22 July 2012 14:39 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thank You for Smoking

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 22 July 2012 14:39 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

DAMMIT Alfred.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 22 July 2012 14:39 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I know. The penalty for people who eat all the raisins out of raisin bran, leaving only the bran....well it should be pretty bad is all I have to say.

― Vic Perry, Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:10 PM (24 minutes ago)

is it

― lag∞n, Sunday, July 22, 2012 7:29 PM (5 minutes ago)

It really is. All I have to say. On the subject.

It really is. All I have to say. On the subject.

― Vic Perry, July futzis 9:53 PM (1.2 seconds ago) Bookmark Fuck Flag Permafrost

You are new here, dumbfuck.

- Some other dumbfuck, July 22, 2012, 9:54 PM (.08 seconds ago) Bookburn Clog Punk Duplo

lol @ "Bookburn Clog Punk Duplo"

i wonder if my high school can retroactively remove Sandusky as our commencement speaker in 98

― da croupier, Monday, July 23, 2012 3:13 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

bobby bowden is now your high school's commencement speaker in 1998

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 23, 2012 3:14 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha

I make sure never to lie around unwary on the ground because you never know if the Rock is going to show up and drop the People's Elbow on you without warning

― dayo, Monday, July 23, 2012 1:53 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Anybody who cries over the sanctions Penn State received should be charged with a crime as well.

― One Way Ticket on the 1277 Express (Bill Magill), Monday, July 23, 2012 4:34 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the crime of feeling

― wack nerd zinging in the dead of night (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, July 23, 2012 4:49 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^playing 2nd stage at warped tour this year

― wack nerd zinging in the dead of night (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, July 23, 2012 4:49 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

re: 50 Shades

my wife was apparently the only person on earth who wasn't familiar with this novel, so I started describing it to her, making clear how bad it appeared to be and how ridiculous the phenomenon was. She was like "hmm, well, maybe I'll check it out." My internal monologue went like this: "NOOOOOOOOO...wait...uh...YEAH...wait...NOOOOOOOOO"

― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Monday, July 23, 2012 5:48 PM (40 minutes ago)

irl lols

Hearing that as a slow motion noooooooo