Rolling Stand-Up Comedy 2012

Hahaha. Love it. Some humorless coworkers!

Well not coworkers but colleagues in a sense...

that Onion piece is so fucking savage. fuckin' A.

"What's the deal with interstate highways?"

Hitler invented them. Lock thread.

I was thinking today of the very first time I went to a business conference (where my employer flew me there and everything) – I was 22, and I had stupider ideas about boundaries/professionalism/etc, meaning I had basically no ideas about those things. They had us start out with '2 truths and a lie,' with everyone sharing to everyone in the room (~30 older and less inane people) and I said:
• My parents had an ostrich farm
• I wasn't born with a sense of smell
and because I knew those are outrageous I chose an obvious lie
• I have touched a unicorn
But when they were asked to guess the lie NO ONE guessed the unicorn one. When I had to reveal the lie I said, "The lie was that I touched a unicorn. [pause] Only a virgin can touch a unicorn." And the reaction was some of the worst, most palpably awkward silence...god. I have learned my lesson about being more bland with strangers but I still feel like I could never be put in front of a business conference.

― Team Safeword (Abbbottt), Thursday, July 12, 2012 4:21 PM (1 hour ago)

In a recent-ish Nerdist podcast, Ana Gasteyer tells a great story about her husband who said something similarly outrageous ("I haven't washed my hair in 11 years") during the "introduce yourself" session of a business retreat. The joke went over about as well as Abbbottt's unicorn, but Gasteyer pointed out that this is the sort of perspective that differentiates a comedy-optimized brain from a business square.

since this is a thread where ppl are getting their "here's a thing you do that sucks" on -- Whiney? This? Kinda thing?

itt a Workaholics fan schools people on what is funny

is grade school shit. I know it passes for hilarious on some ILM threads but you are too old for it now. I like a lot of music I'm sure you hate, but "you can't take what this guy says seriously - he likes Braid!" or w/e is something that it's time for you to outgrow. Also, clean your room, also, your mother and I have been talking and we think you should trim the beard, it may be the fashion but clean looks will never go out of style, love, Dad.

― perry en concrète (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, July 12, 2012 4:45 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

thanks for the advice but imma keep doing this thx

that Onion piece is so fucking savage. fuckin' A.

― perry en concrète (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, July 12, 2012 8:35 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i didnt find it all that funny, even if dude does deserve to be savagely mocked. also is there a huge difference between say him saying "if u don't find rape funny, U SHOULD BE RAPED" and "if u find rape funny, U SHOULD BE RAPED"?

ehh maybe there is. but i guess i dont like the underlying vibe

it is enormously mean and dark, and it hit me right, idk

"I worked really hard with my therapist to be able to make jokes like that,"

loooool abbs you do best

(except for hating on CCR)

ya

i usually like it when the onion goes dark

and im not offended by it or anything

but i didnt find it that funny is all

is there a huge difference between say him saying "if u don't find rape funny, U SHOULD BE RAPED" and "if u find rape funny, U SHOULD BE RAPED"?

The Onion piece didn't say he should be raped, though.

was kind of waiting for morbs to be more savage than the onion

The Onion piece didn't say he should be raped, though.

― emil.y, Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:18 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well it was saying it would be funny if he was

(specifically, it would be funny if he was and he was the same asshole about it... i know there's a diff)

thanks for the advice but imma keep doing this thx

― calum-y maybe (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, July 12, 2012 9:44 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

that's a shame. like, really really a shame. aero's right, it's awful.

was kind of waiting for morbs to be more savage than the onion

― mookieproof, Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:19 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

jeez just because morbius has praised tosh for having an "unusually tight body for a comedian" doesn't mean he would rape him

thanks for the advice but imma keep doing this thx

― calum-y maybe (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, July 12, 2012 9:44 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

that's a shame. like, really really a shame. aero's right, it's awful.
--straight up now tell me will I be a fucking lump forever? (some dude)

You're a fucking poison.

Undoing all of Abbot's good work

;_;

i thought this was entertaining.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3nK2xzBD98&feature=related

You're a fucking poison.

― calum-y maybe (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:24 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark

i said IT, the thing you do, is awful, not you, the person, which i like. not so much as a presence on ilx anymore, but still, as a person, in theory at least, since i haven't talked to you outside ilx in a while. hope all is going well with planning the wedding, man. i'm sorry you think being the most banned post in the history of this board is hilarious and awesome, wish we could've been better friends in a less zingy environment.

i don't know him that well. been watching his stuff. very hicksian. they had him on a show talking about tosh i saw a clip of.

thanks for the advice but imma keep doing this thx

I know I just feel obligated as a friend to tell you it looks about as cool as I'd look if I tried to make a rap record

hey, you guys, maybe take it over here:

if an ilx beef threatens to take over a perfectly innocent thread you can politely direct people here.

ha! i've been waiting to do that all day.

it was a boring day...

do I have to go to the beef thread 'cause I don't have actual beef w/Whiney I just wish he'd quit embarrassing himself with that particular trope

ditto

yes. now stop whining and quit yr pouting :)

k

i said IT, the thing you do, is awful, not you, the person, which i like.

"I didn't call you a bitch, I said you were ACTING like a bitch."

*taps foot*

Whiney they're waiting for you in the beef thread...

"I didn't call you a bitch, I said you were ACTING like a bitch."

― calum-y maybe (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:56 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

you think you're getting a lecture from aero, just imagine if that's what i'd actually said to you

do you guys think this bit is funny? this is a test.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdFJ-hFFdI8

do not watch if you are offended by offensive uh material or something.

I'm a bad lover, you kiddin? I know I'm a bad lover. The other day I put on my shorts I could hear the Fruit of the Womb guys giggling. My wife she had a mirror put in over our bed, says she likes to watch herself laugh.
http://morningcoffee.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/rodney_dangerfield032_sized.jpg

xp I fucking hate Stanhope.

so you would be a "no" on the is this funny question. got it.

i didn't think it was funny tbh. not in an 'i was offended by this and it's not funny' way, more in a 'this guy would maybe be more amusing if he worked on his delivery and material' kinda way.

Stanhope had some good little bits on Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe in the UK some years ago, but I've never been taken with this stand-up. He was fantastic in that episode of Louie though.

Stanhope was p gr8 on that one ep of Louie but his voice is annoying

I found it kinda funny. At least the 'on message' part. Also the Kool Aid thing made me laugh and I am a terrible person.

yeah kool aid made me laugh too.

and i liked his example of women falling for stuff like monogamy and rachel ray. i liked those two examples.

i have never been to a comedy club. apparently i am even more otm than i previously considered possible

i actually thought the stuff i saw of his on youtube was well written. i mean its obvious he DOES work on stuff. he memorizes a ton of shit. and he adds and subtracts stuff from routines as the years go by. i think he's smarter than a tosh. but having said that, i think i've probably watched enough to last me. i think his offensiveness is smarter than tosh's offensiveness. and that's why he seems so hicksian to me. i mean he's a total hicks dude.

yeah. something about it reminded me of kinnison, that kinda preaching to the choir where he's beating the audience over the head with the thing they've already laughed at. minus the screaming, obv.

yeah stanhope always comes off kinda smart and perceptive when he's writing or giving interviews, moreso than when he's actually onstage

i am a fan of the over the top premise that just keeps getting bigger and more out of hand. so, i guess i do appreciate the palin thing for that reason.

ya

i usually like it when the onion goes dark

and im not offended by it or anything

but i didnt find it that funny is all

― funny-skrillex-bee_132455836669.gif (s1ocki), Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:10 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

didnt think it was very funny either! it kind of "works" better that way anyway? i mean just as a like. "DO U SEE WHY THIS ISNT FUNNY DO U SEE"

Hicks and Kinison and Stanhope are some of least favorite comics, so it doesn't surprise me that if you like one you'll probably at least have an ear open for all three.

xp I don't think the Onion thing was intended to be funny at all. "DO U SEE WHY THIS ISNT FUNNY DO U SEE" is otm.