Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

i like how this is an astrology thread now. i'm libra aquarius aquarius. triple air.

i think the thing about "fixed" signs is more that they are more consistently "themselves"

xp - haha, no wonder you come across as a know-it-all, T!

yeah sorry it became a huge derail. Maybe I'll start a separate thread.

and then there's the issue of "age" to consider, like you can divide the signs into 3 ages: young, middle-aged, and old, which breaks down like this:

young: aries, taurus, gemini, cancer
middle: leo, virgo, libra, scorpio
old: sagittarius, capricorn, aquarius, pisces

in a pisces - taurus relationship, the pisces partner is likely to feel maternal/paternal and worry about their partner's hedonistic impulses and overindulgence, whether it's eating/drinking/drug use, spending, workaholicism. but taurus could be good for pisces if the taurus is financially stable & secure, because pisces tends to need security of place/environment and is often not that good with money or tends to live at a subsistence level and doesn't have much of a "cushion" in that sense.

as far as homo2's "t square" goes - this is the taurus/scorpio opposition, right?

the main conflict is between "i have" and "i want"

xp - EnBB - your posts on IL Style definitely seem fitting with Capricorn in terms of your preferences for modesty and comfort

Reactivated and re-wrote my profile. Re-writing keeps it artificially high on the activity page so a lot of people have seen it, some have written. What I don't get is why isn't anyone who has written to me remotely attractive? I think I might be on that awful threshold where I take "better"-looking guys with too many personal problems over...other, more stable people. Or at least I wonder if I am. I've seen it in men, kind of a lot of them of a certain age, refusing to fall in like with women who aren't young (a lot younger, usually) and typically attractive. It's nagl. I'd rather be single than be one of those people.

am i of a certain age now

i suppose : /

Oh don't be silly, we're all of a certain age, or headed there. You could never be one of those people, you're far too smart and sensible. And sensitive. It takes a special kind of delusion of grandeur to think you're going to hook a 24-yo model or other sexy archetype, though, in preference to someone of an appropriate age who shares your interests etc but is not a sexy archetype. Necessarily. You know what I mean.

I was just thinking my last two dating attempts have been with guys who I thought were uncommonly attractive (to me) and both disasters (for me). Eh who knows.

oh, i was just questioning the range of "a certain age" but thanks mostly. i'm not sure 'sensitive' is a compliment for dudes who are online dating tho.

in any case, the less attractive are/have to be more aggressive re: messaging. such is the market and too bad if you're shy.

well xp

What if I'm Virgo sun, Scorpio moon/rising? That seems like a weird combo, but I am pretty weird.

That's a really interesting/awesome combo! I think about the moon sign as being about what you want, where your heart is (not romantically per se). Scorpios are very interested in understanding how people work and what motivates them. The sun sign is kinda the dominant aspect of the personality, it's kinda like a filter, maybe close to the Freudian notion of the ego. So, Virgo, as you probably know, is a fairly practical sign, and could be summed up as "I analyze." So, Virgos tend to focus on physical properties of things, being an earth sign and all. So, I can see how your study and knowledge of language and linguistics could demonstrate the Scorpio and Virgo interaction. Like, the idea that the way that people talk and the differences in language and dialect partially explain "how people work"

So anyway yeah, my okc date went really, really well - a whole weekend packed with hanging out and galleries and talking and music and movies. About time I had some success from this thing!

Yay Trayce! It's good to hear a success story after the doom and gloom on this thread. You deserve to have a wonderful dating experience after the hassle and disappointment.

Thanks! :) Yes, it is a good thing, I actually found myself thinking "THANK YOU universe" several times over the weekend. :)

Homo - 77.

trayce, i'm glad you had a good date!

Oh don't be silly, we're all of a certain age, or headed there. You could never be one of those people, you're far too smart and sensible. And sensitive. It takes a special kind of delusion of grandeur to think you're going to hook a 24-yo model or other sexy archetype, though, in preference to someone of an appropriate age who shares your interests etc but is not a sexy archetype. Necessarily. You know what I mean.

you all know how i feel about dating people that want to date models :( i'm so, so over being a girlfriend only as a placeholder until someone hotter comes along.

i've heard a lot of guy friends, even ones i think are aware of feminism, talk about how they prefer to date women in their 20s because women in their 30s just want to settle down and have babies and they aren't ready for that, and it makes me want to scream/punch/cry.

i'll never be ready for having babies....

(but fortunately not an issue for me anymore)

tbf, I think biology and social expectations and norms where men dating someone significantly younger is more common than the reverse are annoying as hell. The idea is that people don't "grow up" until they reach a certain level of social responsibility that is signified by marriage/a kid/etc. means we have this situation where women are the supposed "taming" force for 30-something man-children. Insulting all around, imo, and men buying into it is both insulting to women and infantilizing for men.

Does anyone "rate" other people on purpose to let them know that you are kinda into them? I have this feeling that it's stupid and it's better to just msg them instead but sometimes I don't have anything specific to say yet without a sign that interest might be mutual?

I used to be super judgmental about relationships with large age differences, until I found myself capable of being the "older woman." I think with the right person, age doesn't really matter, although you're going to have to face a lot of confusion from society. What I mean is that it's possible to date a younger person without exoticisizing them for their youth. I never wanted to be the younger person in a relationship when I was in my twenties, because I never wanted to be someone's plaything, but I'm now realizing that these relationships are possible without that dynamic.

Being the older man sucks from a guy's perspective because everyone assumes you're just a terrible person

If you're the 56-yo looking at my profile whose name is ferr@ri-dr1ver, I've got news for you: You're a terrible person.

or everyone expects you to be the decision-making, responsible person if you're older or male

bleeeh

lol. I spent the day with my bff yesterday who lives clear across the country and who I rarely see. She's 34 and her boyfriend of going on 7 years is 54.

"I never wanted to be the younger person in a relationship when I was in my twenties, because I never wanted to be someone's plaything, but I'm now realizing that these relationships are possible without that dynamic."

I will admit that I did think it a little strange when they first got together but over the years it's become clear that their relaysh is totally solid and not based on that dynamic at all though I will admit that when I first met him and they were 28/48 I was pretty baffled by the whole thing even though she's always dated older guys. I still don't really get exactly what it is that makes it work but it does and they're really happy and work together which is all I could hope for her.

i am totally fine with age differences going in both directions...i am starting to date someone now who is 8 years older...but have also been spending time on and off since the fall with someone 8 years younger. my beef is that so many profiles belonging to men either have their own age as the max they will date, or sometimes even younger than their max age! that's an automatic "don't reply" for me. i used to point it out to people who wrote me if they seemed ok otherwise, nicely, as an fyi, but got screeds about older women that just depressed me even more.

Hey I got one of those, too!

How dare you remind them that they're not interested in someone your age! Wait, what?

my "do not date" applies to anyone who has that listed - even if they are older and i am in their acceptable range.

it makes it sound like they can't hold their own with a woman who is their intellectual/social/sexual equal ...NAGL.

my beef is that so many profiles belonging to men either have their own age as the max they will date, or sometimes even younger than their max age! that's an automatic "don't reply" for me.

Yeah, I realized after I wrote about my friend that that's the main difference. I don't think that big age differences are inherently weird but I think it would be a huge red flag if someone had a bizarre strict age limit like you describe.

When I was okc'ing, I had an even split between my age and how young I would go and how old I would go (like -12 and +12 or something). My sister was shocked that I had up to 52 (or something) and she said she wouldn't even date that old (she's six years older than me). I think, maybe, when people won't date older than they are, they are kind of not comfortable with their own age . . . maybe it's a slightly self-hatred type of thing.

i have also (nicely) called out people who messaged even though i am older than their range and they've been like "well, if i had known there were 33 year olds with your taste in music/looks/whatever i would have had you in my range!"

like...why not set your net wider, dudes? i have trouble believing that your inbox would be inundated with hundreds of messages from older women just because you set your range to include them but at the very least you will look like less of a sleeze to the younger women you want to woo.

agreed w/the max range thingy. i also tend to be more favorably disposed to those profiles that list the minimum age range as higher than 18.

also, xp to vp, i used to have a higher "max age" thing set, but that meant i started getting nothing but creepy messages from creepy older dudes so i lowered it again, as a filter.

maybe they're just dudes trying to say "I'm not dating anyone near my (presumably socially-mature) age because I'm not living up to that expectation!"

Pass on any Geminis, Aquariuses or Leos

as long as this guy says we're cool I don't care:

http://i45.tinypic.com/x5cfvc.jpg

as an aquarian i have to say that guy otm

aquarian haters can suck it

(and my moon is in gemini. rising in libra.)
xp
who would hate us, who??

they're just jealous

I have aquarian sun *and* moon and virgo rising, apparently. Hmm.

I mean, loving a know-it-all worldly genius isn't easy but it's worth it
xp

lol @ 22 being too young but 25 being ok

yeah i thought that was funny too, s'why i posted it. but truth be told me and the 25 year old did actually have waaaayy more to talk about. fwiw all my friends are much younger than me as well. i'm a dj, i don't work in an office, plus bali skews kinda young, especially where fellow 'mericans are concerned.

when i'm visiting home my friends are all about my age, but i still kinda date a broad age range there, always have.

would read a thread devoted exclusively to the Bali OKC scene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgEJZ1dFCog

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg708/scaled.php?server=708&filename=ga020607.gif&res=landing

Pass on any Geminis, Aquariuses or Leos

After reading this thread, I have decided that when I return to OKC in the next week or so I am going to tell people I was adopted, the paperwork was lost, hence my true date of birth is unknown so my star sign is impossible to know. I refuse to be judged by what day I was born on.

not sure that will help as if they can tell you're bad from when you were born then at least they can tell how bad you are and in which ways and maybe they'll still send you a message despite this info - no birthdate to judge you on just makes you too high a risk