itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

maybe that's more the "marketing of masculinity" thread, i guess

That's true. I have a bit of a weakness for that kind of thing, I suppose. Though really I'd be more interested in a piece about uses for a tampon for home maintenance and crafting.

― Je55e, Monday, 18 June 2012 19:22 (1 week ago) Bookmark

http://static.fjcdn.com/large/pictures/80/e4/80e454_658691.jpg

i pledge to be a better man by wearing a tie and carrying a tampon with me.

"the lost art of dressing" yuck yuck yuck yuck ew
http://gothamist.com/2012/07/11/5_tips_for_new_york_men_from_the_gn.php

hints of good advice ("read") made completely unpalatable ("The answers to most questions lie within the written word").

hoo boy

READ: The answers to most questions lie within the written word; but be sure to read both sides of the story. Don’t only pick up and read the books that will impress people when they look at your bookshelf, but be sure to read about contrary opinions to truly find answers. Although it may take you out of your comfort zone, the only risks are either strengthening your current opinions or gaining a new perspective.

or: read because you like to read books? because reading is enriching and entertaining? and because you have interests other than your own manliness and having opinions about stuff?

whatever, man, you haven't read BOTH sides of the story. come back to me when when you're ready to TRULY find answers.

or because you want to learn about 50 shades

A gentleman needs to own a well-made umbrella.

he does fucking NOT and you can't convince me he does.

Pfft, how are you supposed to thrash ingrates in the street without a decent umbrella? Are you going to ruin a perfectly good walking stick?

"a gentlemen needs to own a flask, and a pipe, and a pocketwatch, and one of those cool sherlock holmes hats."

i think this site is probably just trying to sell expensive umbrellas to non-real men

READ: blah blah blah

BE PREPARED: blah blah blah. The less moving parts, especially metals, the less likely it will be to stand up to the elements. (Howard Yount carries a fine selection of styles.)

that's fewer moving parts, dickhead.

yeah i was going to say that the writing (and grammar) is terrible but by now we know that's just a given for sites like that

why is so much of the world culturally imploding right now

Whether it’s walking the streets of the city or to and from your car

I would think if you're able to afford a very fine umbrella, you would be able to afford a car service or valet parking.

haha first response hall of fame on that btw

the less / fewer thing is nothing compared to how they said the exact opposite they were trying to convey

gentlemen math tells me that his drinks are costly

lol gentlemen math

"buy an umbrella with a solid wood shaft. it has fewer moving parts, so it will work like shit."

the less / fewer thing is nothing compared to how they said the exact opposite they were trying to convey

I thought that at first too, but then when reading the entire thing I do think they meant to say "buy an over-designed umbrella with as many moving parts as possible, because it won't ever break due to a strong gust of wind"

which, as someone who has been gifted expensive umbrellas in the past and has seen their spectacular implosions in Boston updrafts, is fucking stupid and wrong

"We believe that reviving the lost art of dressing, behaving and thinking like a gentleman benefits ourselves and the world around us."

"We watched Mad Men and found some old issues of Esquire and want to fetishize shaving products and treating women like fancy objects like every other gentlemen's blog"

gntlmn.com's front page is trying to sell me a $225 "tote bag"

hmmmm

can we start one of these

we can do listicles that start out with one seemingly rational piece of advice like "a true gentleman understands the importance of listening" and then accelerate into still-true-but-batshit advice like "a true gentleman does not insert the entire fist without warning or permission"

http://blog.gntlmn.com/post/26812519401/a-gntlmns-way-of-presenting-cheese-earlier

"A #GNTLMN’s way of presenting cheese."

unreadable scrawl. tags: "behaving"

please don't buy tote bags, guys

i mean, if you really want to, for a good cause, for food shopping, go ahead

here was the "teaser image" for the tote bag:
http://blog.gntlmn.com/post/26721167648/photo-by-brian-vernor-and-a-tease-at-what

I suddenly have a case of the giggles.

hahahaaaaa

"we're terribly excited"

on this cliff
with our magnificent tote bag

this has to be a joke

a noble tote, staring seaward, full of possibility

The French Lieutenant's Tote Bag

dudes need to advise me what sort of stylish spelunking-style head lamp I need to wear when I am as far up my own ass as they are

this reminded me, I meant to start a thread on ILS a few weeks ago:

recommend a new man bag for me

tbf that guy's bags are pretty nice but a tote bag is not really an urban man bag

mh, if he needs to see up there, a real man can start a fire in his own ass with flint and dry grasses

xp

this is why I need a consultant on being a man, obviously

dudes need to advise me what sort of stylish spelunking-style head lamp I need to wear when I am as far up my own ass as they are

― hot sauce delivery device (mh), Thursday, July 12, 2012 10:01 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haaaa

we can do listicles that start out with one seemingly rational piece of advice like "a true gentleman understands the importance of listening" and then accelerate into still-true-but-batshit advice like "a true gentleman does not insert the entire fist without warning or permission"

oh man, did i draw some attention from the office laughing at that.

whoops forgot to check back on this thread! definitely read the umbrella thing as advertising how a great solid single-piece-of-wood umbrella has the great feature of not standing up to the elements.

can we start one of these

yes

we can do listicles that start out with one seemingly rational piece of advice like "a true gentleman understands the importance of listening" and then accelerate into still-true-but-batshit advice like "a true gentleman does not insert the entire fist without warning or permission"

hey just to interrupt our regularly schedules hate-a-thon for a second, my neighbor (& potential friend? we were recently introduced and he is cool afaict) is writing a series of columns titled "self made man" about masculinity re: transitioning to living as a man, they are lovely and thoughtful and you should read some of them:

http://therumpus.net/author/thomas-mcbee/

elmo, my god, these are wonderful.

:D

Gonna bookmark those to read at work tomorrow, they look excellent.

all the more personal stuff is beautifully written, but the more general curiosity about masculinity is really interesting and contrasts so strongly w/ the sort of stuff in this thread.