ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

Donald Young is going to give me neck sprain, I spend so much time shaking my damn head at him

And Samantha Stosur just lost to a 251st-ranked qualifier in 's-Hertoeekjfnknddddddklddlkdkldkldkldkldlk HOWEVER YOU TYPE THAT PLACE NAME

'S-HERTOGENBOSCH

We all know about Kvitty's hit-or-miss style...and yeah, that's her game and always will be. But I have wondered so many times this year WHAT she's actually trying to get her strokes under control, especially on big points. Is she trying anything at all? Or is she just going to swing away idiotically forever in the hope that a Peak Pierce style run magically ensues every few years.

COMMENTATOR (brightly): "A lovely day at Devonshire Park today! It's bright, warm..." (Beat.) "Well. Not warm, exactly." (Beat.) "It's...dry. And not that windy."

Oh, British Isles.

Don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier but I just realised the players will be in their national colours instead of traditional white at Wimbledon during the Olympics. That's going to be weird.

Congrats to Roddick for somehow extending his rad streak of seasons with an ATP title.

I don't understand how Tamira Paszek just won a Premier title! It is welcome and all, but she had a 2-13 w/l record this year coming into Eastbourne! She lost to Keothavong last week!

Roddick smh, I hope I don't see anyone bigging up his chances or going on about a return to form following this impressive feat of two retirements and three clay bums.

Excellent use of fourth Slam runner-up trophy, I say: http://twitter.com/maggiemay_hem/status/223108092827672576/photo/1

also, these tweets about CAKE warming up Sampras at an exo are cracking me up:

Beyond The Baseline ‏@SI_BTBaseline

Watching Marion Bartoli give Pete Sampras a workout. ‪#BOTW12

Sampras marveling at Bartoli's swing volleys. "How do u do that?" "U want me to teach u?" He's looking at her like she's a freak of nature.

Bartoli is absolutely crushing her returns, much to Pete's bewilderment/amusement. ‪#BOTW12

Kevin Fischer ‏@Kfish_WTA

When Serena asked Marion if she could hit w/ Pete Sampras instead, "Serena, for once, let me beat you in something. I'm hitting w/ him."

haha, it's not even like Bartoli's volleys are a particularly outstanding area of her game.

Former tennis player Jankovic has just allowed Bratdeweghe to reach the Stanford QF -_-

Donald Young lost another 1R (to Michael Russell, by the scoreLiNa of 1-6 6-1 6-4). 2-16 this year, can't believe he'll be going to the Olympics.

Why is Hewitt in an ATP QF. Stop that immediately.

I'm just laughing at the thought of Bartoli doing her little bunny hop-and-practice swing routine before returning Sampras' serve. She looks so happy too:

http://p.twimg.com/AxkEiJWCEAE4tnI.jpg:large

is it the 12th or 13th loss in a row for Donald Young now? yeesh.

also smh at JJ.

Her SF vs Wickmayer was the first time I've seen Vandeweghe play. She did well. What's the verdict about her game from the regs in this thread who know tennis a hell of a lot better than I do?

Big brainless bashing game, pretty raw even though she's not exactly a junior any more. Started tennis relatively late which could account for some of the rawness but more likely is that she's lazy and unmotivated - she comes from a really rich family (I think her dad or uncle is some mega-famous US sports star). Her results are 90% terrible 1R/2R losses to whomever except in this SoCal swing (she's a SoCal girl herself, I guess she gets somewhat motivated in her home state + the fast courts suit her game).

I really dislike her, she seems like the archetypal spoiled rich bitch - after losing in the US play-off for the AO WC last year to Brodsky, she stormed off court without shaking her opponent's hand. Plus, various kinda awful tweets, eg the one complaining that the first stamp in her new passport would be, ew, Mexico! And complaining about getting busted for parking in a disabled bay.

I hope Serena double bagels her and sends her ass back to Challengers tbh.

Oh, she played Wickmayer. What a fest of likeability that must have been.

lol. ty Lex.

lol spoiled rich bitch has always been how I've pictured Vandeweghe even before i watched her play - her name kind of screams high school mean girl movie villain.

CoCo Vandeweghe ‏@CoCoVandey
I don't know what's more depressing. Spending 5hrs in Houston airport or having my first stamp in my in passport be Mexico.. ‪#tennisproblems‬

smfmh Serena

you better not lose a game from this point on

jesus fucking christ

Serena is going to lose a set to Coco fucking Vandeweghe

hmm maybe Serena heard me yelling at her

I can't watch this match but every tennis fan I follow on Twitter pretty much yelled "HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT SERENA" a few minutes ago and apparently she heard all of you THANK FUCK

FUN FACT Coco's actual name is Colleen.

"Coco" is also Portuguese for "shit", I think.

god coco is a fucking irritance

thank god serena didn't give it a set

serena ties henin, hingis and venus with 43 titles

Nadal's pulled out of the Olympics. :/

saw that, boo

CoCo Vandeweghe ‏@CoCoVandey
I don't know what's more depressing. Spending 5hrs in Houston airport or having my first stamp in my in passport be Mexico.. ‪#tennisproblems‬

― bitch I'm on the 242 (lex pretend), Sunday, 15 July 2012 20:04 (4 days ago) Permalink

what the fuck

http://www.london2012.com/athlete/roddick-andy-1133570/

Ryan Harrison

http://www.london2012.com/imgml/athletes/xl/1289049.png

hahaha what were they doing the night before these pics were taken

oh my god Bellucci

6-1 up in the TB

5 consecutive errors

then a shanked FH

then a shanked DF on SP that landed in the corner of the WRONG BOX

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBscXgS8P8M

...
......
..........

!!! OMG BRB DYING

<3 Bella

It's sad, when I saw that Johansson had bagelled Hercog in 20 minutes I knew beyond all doubt that she would end up losing that final. Which she did. I wonder what would happen if Johansson ended up playing Vesnina in a final. They really are tragic.

oh god

olympic draw being made

serena vs jankovic round 1 ahaha

loool just came in here to post about that.

Venus drawing Errani makes me sad though. Can't Vee catch a break?

clijsters vs vinci

1st round exit for kim??? :D

tomic v nishikori

murray v wawrinka

isner v o. rochus lol

sharapova v peer bitchiness ha

of course baltacha draws szavay 1r *rolls eyes*

possible djokovic v roddick and tsonga v raonic 2r

ugh and Keothavong got Wozniacki :(

Errani is a decent draw for Venus, if she's having a good day it should be easy for her, if she's not having a good day she can lose to like...VESNINA so her draw doesn't matter.

LOLOLOLOL @ Silliams/JaJa

fact: draw gods hate murray. maybe stan's arms will be tired carrying the swiss flag?

stosur/clijsters 2r also possible

my vote for worst match ever

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Roddick gets Nole in the 2nd round

SUCK IT

Falla and Benneteau are interesting 1R/2R match-ups for Fed given that he's had to come from two sets down against both at recent Wimbledons!

The Stosur/Clijsters section also features Ivanovic, total nightmare

Heh, Lisicki/Sharapova 3R, though we knew that was coming

that would require lisicki to get past shvedova in r2 though

lol @ petrova v zheng 1r right underneath tatishvili v vogt

predix

gold: azarenka
silver: kvitova
bronze: s. williams over shvedova

gold: federer
silver: djokovic
bronze: ferrer over wawrinka

lol

3 live streams open

LET'S DO THIS THING

erm is it just me or is the bbc stream...not actually working? it's just a big blur?