itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

Yeah, elmo, I was just thinking about how aspirational it all is.

srsly what does 17 even mean

"if need be"??

the phrase "gentleman boners" is going to haunt me for a long long time

a tiny top hat on the end of an erect penis

a tiny monocle lodged in the urethra

walking cane in ass

nuts spats

jumping gentleman boners, batman!

for real, how classy is it to objectify women as "muses" while simultaneously posting comments like "she looks way too skinny here, she needs to eat a sandwich"

"Gentlemen . . . Boners!"

http://i.cdn.turner.com/asfix/repository/8a25c39212c8bcf30112c99af0910001/athf_ep020_01.jpg

(ties should never be a focal point)

pfft, whatever

NEVER

someone just explain to me wtf is wrong with highballs that makes them so ungentlemanly

Fine liquor is a delicacy to be enjoyed, much like a fine cigar

mixing them is unrefined obviously

also this is a total bizarro douche thing

it's like people who will only drink "single malt scotch" or think they know a lot about certain liquors

and then they order Johnnie Walker because they're morons and don't know what single malt means

as a total Talisker fiend, I find those people to be among the worst fucking people in the world

jesus, these dudes are such bores, aren't they. just imagine a cocktail reception with the gentlemen's society. i would probably lock myself in the bathroom until it was over.

the thing is, when you do the snobby alcohol thing right you get super amazing results, but for these idiots "doing it right" is a substitute for "drinking straight from the bottle with a supercilious, knowing expression" which is basically about as wrong as you can possibly do it

like, there are totally tequilas that are best enjoyed neat, but 99% of the people drinking tequila are nowhere near those brands, including you, so stfu

it's like at dinner the other night I saw they had chartreuse on the dessert menu as an apertif and got excited, but when I ordered it they had very obviously just dumped a heavy pour into a goblet and not run cold water over an ice cube into it, so instead of a warming liquorice post-dinner treat I was drinking vaguely sweet fire

these douchebags would be extolling the strength of the chartreuse and would have no fucking clue that there was another preparation that made it into a much more complicated beverage

like, there are totally tequilas that are best enjoyed neat

Oh, totally, like Patron, right?

(That was my attempt at a Gentlemen's Club post)

Being classy has everything to do with making everyone else feel at ease, welcomed and valued, while gently discouraging anyone else from being crass, egoistic or snobbish in your vicinity. It has nothing to do with making up a lot of rules everyone else is supposed to follow to meet your social requirements.

that, good sir, is otm *twirls moustache* hahahahahahahahahahaha

jesus, these dudes are such bores

i cannot imagine what these dudes even talk about with each other

no, silly, being classy is about rationalizing why your boner is more noble than other boners

ah, the ever-noble boner

they talk about their cars, golfing, and quote Will Ferrell movies at each other

jesus, these dudes are such bores

i cannot imagine what these dudes even talk about with each other

― yorba linda carlisle (donna rouge), Wednesday, June 13, 2012 1:24 PM (49 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't know but i bet it's a little funny but mostly just sad and unpleasant to witness

if ILX ever buys a racehorse it has to be called Noble Boner

"this girl, she was like, smokin' hot. like you wouldn't believe how hot. i was like, woah." xps

though seeing other people fetishize being children inspires me to not do that. xp

did you notice that they all work in real estate

in florida

maybe my wish of poverty upon them will come true

SUVIVAL TAMPON

Do me a favor for the next five minutes. Try to forget everything you know about tampons. I know, it’s hard. But pretend that this is the first time you have ever seen or heard of the item below, and it is a new survival product on the market: the Tactical Adventure Medical Preparedness Outdoors Necessity (T.A.M.P.O.N.).

The tampon is actually regulated in the US by the Food & Drug Administration as a Class II Medical Device. The word “tampon” is a derivative of the French word tapon which means “a little plug or stopper.” My research indicates that tampons were used as early as the 19th century as battle dressings to plug bullet holes. There are even accounts of tampons being used as wound plugs in modern warfare. A friend of mine told me that it’s not uncommon for Army Medics to carry tampons in their med kits. They are also the perfect product for a bloody nose. There seem to be mixed accounts of whether the tampon was used as a feminine product before or after its use on the battlefield.

Yes, but IIRC, people use menstrual pads much more often for first-aid purposes.

if you scraped it then you better put a pad on it

guys think about all the cool manly stuff you can do with a tampon but DON'T THINK ABOUT WHAT IT IS ACTUALLY DESIGNED FOR, NO DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT, HAHA SO GROSS, RIGHT?

I had to look twice at blow dart fletching, misread it as felching and was all say what now

that's in the uncut Raiders of the Lost Ark

A Gentleman always has a tampon at hand, just in case.

you can use a tampon to draw the vermouth out of your martini iirc

a gentleman could use one to dab the sweat off his brow

That post is a pretty kooky but it doesn't fit w/ the rest of the terrible shit that this thread is about. It's interesting and it doesn't seem "Ewwwwww! Lady products & periods, gross!!!" to me.

reads to me as "I'm so comfortable with my masculinity that I'll use a tampon and carry it around in case of emergencies"

tbf it's a comfort to carry around at least one thing that will eventually go in a vagina

need to remember the box of tampons in my cabinet for my next nosebleed