itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

haha i know, i guess being a gentleman requires drinking only straight liquor? or, uh, red wine?

and drinks are not meant to be mixed? wtf?

basically, a gentleman drinks straight booze neat or on the rocks, probably in the scotch/whiskey/bourbon family of spirits

yup

mixing drinks is too similar to cooking, another thing gentlemen don't do, no doubt

what a horrible way to live, in constant anxiety that the wrong beverage will emasculate you and degrade your social standing

"shaken, not stirred"
"haha, bond, dude! what sort of girly shit are you drinking?! jesus, jimmy, does that thing come with a little umbrella?"

it seems to me that being a 'gentleman' is a lot like being cool in that if you're in a club w/ the word in the name, you're probably not that thing

like, shouldn't there be an ease and a subtlety about it? be a gentleman by being a decent person who doesn't talk about how decent you are

you mean my membership to the Club for Cool Boys is...perhaps, tainted?

i'm sure your membership is in good standing

good, I'm still cool, cooler than those gentelmens

ime most genuinely decent people don't make a thing about how they're decent people

obv the 'gentleman' thing is about performing social class as well as gender but idk which aspect is worse

gentleman = jumping + opens door for ladies

it's simple, really

Yeah, elmo, I was just thinking about how aspirational it all is.

srsly what does 17 even mean

"if need be"??

the phrase "gentleman boners" is going to haunt me for a long long time

a tiny top hat on the end of an erect penis

a tiny monocle lodged in the urethra

walking cane in ass

nuts spats

jumping gentleman boners, batman!

for real, how classy is it to objectify women as "muses" while simultaneously posting comments like "she looks way too skinny here, she needs to eat a sandwich"

"Gentlemen . . . Boners!"

http://i.cdn.turner.com/asfix/repository/8a25c39212c8bcf30112c99af0910001/athf_ep020_01.jpg

(ties should never be a focal point)

pfft, whatever

NEVER

someone just explain to me wtf is wrong with highballs that makes them so ungentlemanly

Fine liquor is a delicacy to be enjoyed, much like a fine cigar

mixing them is unrefined obviously

also this is a total bizarro douche thing

it's like people who will only drink "single malt scotch" or think they know a lot about certain liquors

and then they order Johnnie Walker because they're morons and don't know what single malt means

as a total Talisker fiend, I find those people to be among the worst fucking people in the world

jesus, these dudes are such bores, aren't they. just imagine a cocktail reception with the gentlemen's society. i would probably lock myself in the bathroom until it was over.

the thing is, when you do the snobby alcohol thing right you get super amazing results, but for these idiots "doing it right" is a substitute for "drinking straight from the bottle with a supercilious, knowing expression" which is basically about as wrong as you can possibly do it

like, there are totally tequilas that are best enjoyed neat, but 99% of the people drinking tequila are nowhere near those brands, including you, so stfu

it's like at dinner the other night I saw they had chartreuse on the dessert menu as an apertif and got excited, but when I ordered it they had very obviously just dumped a heavy pour into a goblet and not run cold water over an ice cube into it, so instead of a warming liquorice post-dinner treat I was drinking vaguely sweet fire

these douchebags would be extolling the strength of the chartreuse and would have no fucking clue that there was another preparation that made it into a much more complicated beverage

like, there are totally tequilas that are best enjoyed neat

Oh, totally, like Patron, right?

(That was my attempt at a Gentlemen's Club post)

Being classy has everything to do with making everyone else feel at ease, welcomed and valued, while gently discouraging anyone else from being crass, egoistic or snobbish in your vicinity. It has nothing to do with making up a lot of rules everyone else is supposed to follow to meet your social requirements.

that, good sir, is otm *twirls moustache* hahahahahahahahahahaha

jesus, these dudes are such bores

i cannot imagine what these dudes even talk about with each other

no, silly, being classy is about rationalizing why your boner is more noble than other boners

ah, the ever-noble boner

they talk about their cars, golfing, and quote Will Ferrell movies at each other

jesus, these dudes are such bores

i cannot imagine what these dudes even talk about with each other

― yorba linda carlisle (donna rouge), Wednesday, June 13, 2012 1:24 PM (49 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't know but i bet it's a little funny but mostly just sad and unpleasant to witness

if ILX ever buys a racehorse it has to be called Noble Boner

"this girl, she was like, smokin' hot. like you wouldn't believe how hot. i was like, woah." xps

though seeing other people fetishize being children inspires me to not do that. xp

did you notice that they all work in real estate

in florida

maybe my wish of poverty upon them will come true

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