They're Remaking 'Alien' -- the 'Prometheus' thread

it's okay man, just remind yourself aliens aren't real

but they are, they're US. woo mind blown

it's a very enjoyable film

it's pish.

there's a line in the trailer with one of the characters that is going to die at some point actually asking vickers "is there some kind of agenda you're not telling us about"

the question i keep asking myself about this is, how dumb would it actually have to be for me to not enjoy it

i mean, i don't really expect insight from big dumb object stories. i don't know that i necessarily need this to be any cleverer than 'cube', even.

"like a ride" actually sounds kind of hopeful

it's spectacularly dumb.

SPOILERY questions...

why would you *not* want to take guns into a completely unknown alien environment?

why were they so keen to breathe the possibly microbe or virus infested air?

why was the one guy in charge of mapping the one guy who got lost?

why was the biologist so keen to shake hands with an alien organism which he had no idea how hostile or dangerous it might be?

why didn't the ship have a self-contained quarantible med bay?

why would you make a state of the art med pod just for men?

why would you fit one into a part of the ship occupied by a woman?

basically why was almost everyone in this film inconceivably stupid, reckless, and foolhardy? i lost count at the number of times i rmde at someone's elementary idiocy.

what were we even supposed to think about the charlize and guy pearce big reveal-o towards the end anyway, like it was semi-obvious, had no bearing on the story really (perhaps the shallowest general analogy about man and his "creation" idk?) and in any case the characters were both so two-dimensional no one cared anyway

LINDELOF THIS IS ALL YOUR DIRTY MARK I WILL KILL U SOMEDAY 4REALS

otm, i was all "eh? is that a big reveal? are we meant to care?"

also did elba & theron get it on, or what?

also also why did fassbender do (the bad thing), or are we meant to wait for the sequel to find out?

elba as well, what exactly was his motivation for his (and his crew's) ultimate sacrifice beyond i am a cool black guy who listens to music

he barely even engages with rapace (and indeed the entire expedition) throughout the film and then suddenly gets noble heroic on her briefest say-so

i think what i'm most pissed off about though, and yeah this is a big SPOILER for anyone who still cares, is that they made the space jockey into a goddamned scooby doo villain. it's just a guy in a mask!

SPOILER

Did I miss a second engineer waking up, or did I just not care by that point to try and make any sense out of this mess? How come there was one in the escape module, and then presumably another one sitting in the space jockey chair?

They really are rubbish scientists, on the other hand one of the things that tickled me about it is that unlike the previous films where the company is evil because it's an amoral moneymaking machine, here it's just foolish because it's the toy of one old scared man. So it makes sense that he would pick people who didn't really know what they were doing because he likes their gumption.

Motivation for ultimate sacrifice = there is a ton of bioweapons heading for Earth? Where he keeps his other accordions.

Elba does have the scene earlier where he rants about how we absolutely must not let any of these aliens back anywhere near earth, though he is in fairness talking to Rapace who is visibly thinking "I understand that you are very agitated about this, but I have just had to invent something I like to call 'Super-abortion with extra helpings of shite' so it may be safe to assume that I am down with this".

Haha "Yeah, we were really surprised that we got the commission to go to the stars on a whim, but after he watched us fuck he was totally fine with it"

OK, to answer my own question, I've looked it up and this is on a different planet from the other films.

that's for fuckin sure

i can't wait for this thread's spoiler status to be confirmed, there is so much stupid shit in this movie posing as profound shit that it feels like my brain needs lancing of it, it must be mocked and ridiculed until i find peace

<i>that's for fuckin sure</i>

haha, very good.

Thinking about it again, I'm even more pissed off with the broader problem that the scooby doo space jockey is just a symptom of - it's all about us. The best SF imo is about the other, about the mysteries of the all mysterious universe. Things don't revolve around us and if we ever discover anything else out there it's not gonna be some giant surrogate lookalike dadgod - we already have a perfectly serviceable theory of evolution thx - and nor would i want it to be. Ok I wouldn't exactly want to stumble across an original giger alien either, but it's a perfect example of the idea that what we might find out there is not going to be familiar, and is certainly not going to have any shared history.

Seriously, we should should be allowed let loose with the SPOILERS at this point

Another question, why the hell would you not tell members of the team for a mission that cost 1 TRILLION DOLLARS where they were going and what their mission was? Surely you would want them to be briefed to the fullest possible extent, rather than having a geologist who acts like a complete psycho, a biologist who treats an obviously dangerous alien lifeform like a playful kitten etc.

I am considering everything after my missive to Roger to be spoiler town.

Scott said, "NASA and the Vatican agree that [it is] almost mathematically impossible that we can be where we are today without there being a little help along the way... That’s what we’re looking at [in the film], at some of Erich von Däniken’s ideas of how did we humans come about."[78]

why haven't i seen this quote before? ok because i was avoiding reading anything about the film. but wtffffff? nasa dispute evolution? really? and who gives a shit what the vatican think? FUCK YOU RIDLEY SCOTT EVEN MORE THAN LINDELOF

NASA, for funding purposes, agree that...

i can't wait for this thread's spoiler status to be confirmed, there is so much stupid shit in this movie posing as profound shit that it feels like my brain needs lancing of it, it must be mocked and ridiculed until i find peace

― irrational angst that makes me innocuously thingy (darraghmac), Wednesday, 6 June 2012 11:12 (25 minutes ago) Bookmark

i have to go back to my original point that i feel nowhere near as scandalised by this film than some of the other trash that ilx/general public has seemingly humoured. let's have mission impossible 4 or thor for starters

fuck i mean if you think even nolan's batmen are that much better than this you're on some delusory notions imo

They're not as pompous, though. Mission Impossible 4 is really clear about not being much more than 4 hi-tech capers in a row.

did Thor have a big following on here? It's certainly much more aware of its own ridiculousness than this ponderous mess. And MI:4 does exactly what you'd expect and does it quite well. Probably not a good idea to invoke Christopher Nolan's name though

i have raged against nolan's batmen (mans?) tbh, both hugely cool, hugely ambitious, hugely stupidly overplotted movies

But they were fun. This veered a lot further towards frustration at a wasted budget/opportunity

I wouldn't consider the Batmeng equal - I will still happily rewatch The Dark Knight for plotting + Joker, whereas Batman Begins is surely one of the most superfluous movies in history - if they wanted to recap it in TDK (and they didn't) they could have just stuck up a card saying "Bruce Wayne is Batman. You know, Batman".

But I imagine there is already a thread for this.

comparisons to thor or mi4 aren't fair- who takes that shit seriously? i'd argue that not even the makers of those movies would rep for them as big, serious, 'profound' epics that speak to us of our times like scott is claiming (and, tbh, the movie claims for itself at every turn) prometheus does, or nolan vies for with batmens.

Note- even ignoring the pseudoprofundity and pomposity- if prometheus were only aimed at popcorn lols forget it immediately thrills n shits it would still be a bad movie, it just mightn't irk so much- it's not as good as eg the mummy or w/e on this level

tbh it didn't help having the "omg they actually want to kill us all" twist explicitly revealed in the very first trailer. but even with that intact, yeah it was just too messy and vague.

It's kind of fascinating to me that none of these spoilers are making any sense to me, having kept myself more or less in the dark about the film's details. I'm impressed!

seeing it won't change that much

fuck i mean if you think even nolan's batmen are that much better than this you're on some delusory notions imo

Real talk.

Nolan should have called the sequel "Batmen," and the one this summer "Batmen II."

"Batmen, Too!"

Tag: We are all Batmen.

https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRz7JKr_fw1C4LwjzXx7zZn9zs5IjCDVQallWMO5ooRAt7z3XO9yNk2Pke7

well if you believe some of the rumours, the new one could legitimately be called "Batmen"

Turns out Batmen are our Gods.

https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTis9Qr_RKyr28dsFS0iqOObKGioazhKde9mSOUSS8fu9maJoxdnQ

Caught a showing in Seoul this afternoon. There were a few bits that worked, either as scares or not-too-blatant exposition, but for the most part it was really airheaded. Also some very poor editing/handling of concurrent action in the middle third.

SPOILERS

why would you *not* want to take guns into a completely unknown alien environment?
You get the idea that this is the first-ever alien environment, and they're supposed to be hippy-dippy types off to meet their makers, no?

why were they so keen to breathe the possibly microbe or virus infested air?
See above. I mean, I handwaved this one away as "required for movie", but could probably stretch this out into "they think they're in heaven and are all excited about standing on the first life-supporting world not Earth"

why was the one guy in charge of mapping the one guy who got lost?
Because the mapping relied on the link to the ship, which was actually doing the mapping

why was the biologist so keen to shake hands with an alien organism which he had no idea how hostile or dangerous it might be?
Yeah, I got nothing here.

why didn't the ship have a self-contained quarantible med bay?
It did, no? That's where they put the exploding head.

why would you make a state of the art med pod just for men?
It's built for Guy Pearce, basically.

why would you fit one into a part of the ship occupied by a woman?
Because that part of the ship is actually to be Guy Pearce's, once he wakes up.

it was a ONE TRILLION DOLLAR mission

they think they're in heaven

yeah i don't buy this, they may have been people of strong faith expecting to meet their makers but i would guess they were still pretty clear about this being an encounter on a real unknown alien world and not some airy fairy hippy dippy paradise.

It did, no? That's where they put the exploding head.

it didn't have its own airlock, hence the human torch act. not exactly self contained.

Because that part of the ship is actually to be Guy Pearce's, once he wakes up.

ok but then why not pack theron in with the rest of the crew? oh because they had to have some non-secret justification for having that module, grand piano et al. so needlessly complicated!

and you could say "people in movies they be stupid" but i'm sorry my anal standards of movie realism expect scientists on a ONE TRILLION DOLLAR mission to be slightly smarter than highschoolers on a weekend break.

Perhaps then you're seeing the wrong movies.

this clearly has pretensions to be "smart" sci-fi though

if they start making the right ones i will watch them.

I dunno, there appears to be a religious component to this, and there's a lot of money to be found there. If someone was trying to raise funds for a mission to heaven, they'd get a trillion dollars pretty quickly. That's why cults exists.

(Religious component being the sole spoiler here that really has me understanding why so many are calling bullshit on this movie.)

one trillion's not gonna be that much, by then. this is a shoestring operation by a crazy old guy. like how many mercenary geologists are there, anyway? I want to see that guy's papers.