Take this Queen's Jubilee and SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR ARSE

what does bother me is people being all jolly hockeysticks about it in work, like otherwise intelligent people kind of forcing themselves to be excited. between this and the olympics i keep thinking of "the parallel campaign" from "the man without qualities".

seem to remember there's an apposite Slipknot song for this eventuality

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjveFZaGMpw

I work on the Strand and am keeping a mental note of all the business i'm never going to buy from again. Pret have a sign out front saying that they're "keeping the area outside their shop clean for the Queen" which i'm sure will delight anyone who has been tripping over their rubbish for the last nine years.

rainbow bunting in camberwell

Sat in Tate modern restaurant fucking this jubilee with scallops #bestofbothworlds

This thread is a bit like reading the reports from last summer's riots, except with bunting rather than looting.

Re. Algerian Goalkeeper upthread - '77 Silver Jubilee was a pretty big deal in Uddingston (particularly at the Kylepark end). There was a huge procession down Main Street on the Saturday; I hid in the library and read Black Music by LeRoi Jones. Such were my teenage wonder years.

Totally agree with Ronan about the jolly hockeysticks chat at work about this.

always put the radio on when i'm in the kitchen. 2 minutes of Richard Fucking Bacon being all flip and hilarious and some unknown fucking toady explaining the Byzantine rituals of the monarchy in lickspittle awe. then they went over to Ross Kemp. then i punted the radio thru the fucking window.

OMG, Jack Harkness is there! *suspicious*

I am enjoying the extra day off work, which is the real point of this. I remain ambivalent towards the celebratory aspect of the whole thing but nevertheless have been dragged to Bermondsey to look at ships. Drinking beer with friends and having a day off work is good, regardless of the reason for it. Also, not in front of a tv, which helps.

Ten years ago, a feckless young MP writes something about the monarchy:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2002/jun/05/davidcameron.politicalcolumnists

Tory crawls up the Queen's dick shocker

I live in a hamlet of less than 100 souls near the small country town of Chipping Norton. There is no pub, shop, village hall or church. The only time we meet is on the road, usually passing each other in cars courtroom 73 at the RCJ.

had i read that then i could have been hating cameron so much earlier, wasted opportunity.

i don't remember the last jubilee being such a big deal, maybe i had no dealings with the outside world at that point (dark years of late teenhood at work), maybe it's just that i wasn't in london. whatever the case, awa in shite, queenie.

I vaguely recall something about the Conservative party getting a call from Buckingham Palace recommending him for a position in their research department on the day he was meant to be interviewing for the same.

I am not actually sure I know what a jubilee is

"Let out all the prisoners/ 'cos that's a jubilee"

... according to the Stranglers, who are my first port of call in these matters

i can't remember if it's still legally okay to call for her execution on Facebook

You can't even incite a riot on Facebook anymore!

time was you could talk shite about killing people without going to jail.

oh it's not shite i'm perfectly serious

head on a pole, the lot

Cameron "I'm knackered.. Was it handing out 100 jubilee mugs and pens to primary school children in Witney? Crowning the May Day King and Queen in Bladon?.. "
KNACKERED after judging some maypole dancers, lobbing coconuts at a shy and handing out 1 00 pens to some kids?? i mean does that not say it all..

Fucking boats. 50 sea cadets are sailing to a place that no-one sails to.

^^^ brief history of the British Empire

Totally agree with Ronan about the jolly hockeysticks chat at work about this.

yeah same

what's really struck me is just the DOZINESS with which this seems to have manifested itself - like I keep seeing bars and stuff advertising idk Jubilee drinks deals or something, and using Pistols/Jamie Reid ripoff artwork, but giving no indication that they're anything other than delighted about the whole royal deal

we're all Situationists now

Is that another word for "cunts"?

Wasn't a jubilee a Jewish debt-cancellation festival? She could sell a few horses and pictures, wipe the overdrafts of several 1000 subjects.

britain won the european gymnastics championships! when did we get good at gymnastics?!

Aye, the men's, no-one watches that

HEY GUYS IT'S GREAT TO BE BRITISH TODAY!!!!

we'll win everything at the olympics as long as we remember what makes britain GREAT.

killing foreigners?

George Osborne's feelbad austerity measures have put the Great back into British gymnastics

High bar exercise, low interest rates

Reasonably appalled at myself waiting for the spectacle in front of the 7th floor windows at the Tate, trying to remain aloof. Parents no monarchists but fairly excited by the flotilla and bells etc, my mum was at the coronation so y'know once in a lifetime part of history etc etc.

Got in here before Tracey Emin btw, saw her queuing at the desk, no respect for YBA royalty here.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/queen-tried-to-use-state-poverty-fund-to-heat-buckingham-palace-2088179.html

keep wanting bin laden to appear

a large pirate's galley with bin laden, saddam, the wests, gordown brown, raoul moat

galleon even

Too early for Mick Philpott

http://a.yfrog.com/img876/9452/3stee.jpg

And so we see the Royal Floatilla pass the marvellous Tate & Lyle works at Silvertown, catch a glimpse of the splendour of the Beckton sewage works, and finally come to rest at Thamesmead.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/oct/30/prince-charles-offered-veto-legislation

It would have been a nice no-hard-feelings gesture to invite Michael Fagan onto her boat.

Worst nanu nanu ever. xxxpost

Had to nip up to Church Street to get a birthday card for a friend. Can confirm that Hackney's historical home of leftists, radicals and free thinkers is bedecked with more flags and bunting per square inch than Disneyland. It was like stepping onto the deck of HMS Cuntington.

And the fucking coffee shop was shut and all. If Daniel Defoe was here he'd be choking on his quinoa.

Re. Algerian Goalkeeper upthread - '77 Silver Jubilee was a pretty big deal in Uddingston (particularly at the Kylepark end). There was a huge procession down Main Street on the Saturday; I hid in the library and read Black Music by LeRoi Jones. Such were my teenage wonder years.

i was 4 and just about to start primary school and i remember it being a huge deal. The golden jubilee noone seemed to bother with despite the media trying its best. I think last years royal wedding has made them popular again with a new generation of cunts.

http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/Q/k/prince_harry_nazi.jpg

Nazi Harry told to see Holocaust film Shoah would've been more to the point.

pretty sure harry has never gone more than a shoah runtime without blapping a debutante or vomitting on something plush

http://www.theonion.com/articles/diamond-jubilee-marred-by-drunken-queen-elizabeth,28422/

lol that got me

I was worried that my village (as it's also a RAF base) would be terrible, as far as flags and bunting etc. - but not a single instance. Perhaps the Scottish factor won the day. There was, however a fete thing on a football pitch today, but I played the dour republican and just got drunk reading books in my local (which was the 'toilets' for the fair - never trust local council or the MOD to arrange anything).

And it's not like this crap is over - the Olympic torch is coming through in a week or so. :(

get out the piano wire yeah :D

Thinking of putting up a banner across the street - can't think of a slogan though. The best (sigh) I've come up with is 'Jobs and Justice, not Jewels and Javelins'. Maybe 'Jubilees and javelins'. But that's rubbish. and long. 'Fuck the Tories' is more concise, but maybe more likely to attract the police's ire.

http://twitpic.com/show/thumb/9s3d5k.png

just tomorrows newspapers to avoid and it should be over

we all are the queen of england, merry jubilee to us all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUyJ5CdqgAE

that woman from Pomplamoose has kinda let herself go

zzzzzzzzzzz

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/05/diamond-jubilee-institution

It's good to be reminded every few years that I live in a nation of servile, craven toadies who will happily traipse halfway across the country to stand in the rain waving plastic flags (made in China) at some sourfaced old bag whose greatest achivement is she hasn't died yet, but wouldn't lift a finger to help one of their fellow Britons because it's "none of their business" and "nothing to do with me". Hooray for us!

Well...

We've gone from a silver jub which 'entertained' dissent in the form of a song called "God save the queen" which was about a youth going to waste and nothing about any jubilee (entertained just as long as you accepted being beaten up by lovers of free speech with caveats and lovers of free expression of thumping people)

.. to , um, etc.

Was there an 'entertainment' of the kind of the last nights 'pop music' jambree? I don't recall one.

So, they've gone from 'out-and-out worship, or nothing' of churchinness and stuff, into a knees up and a bunch of jokes at her expense, no offence marm, lots of 'one' references and 'no stuffiness now'..

(The question was referencing the silver jub, obv).

I think the abiding memory of the golden jubilee show was the 'Brian May' moment, all shudder...

THANK FUCK ITS OVER

THANK FUCK ITS OVER

― it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper),

it's not over yet
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/18353275

it's still going [via question time]