slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

Convert simple JEEZ to BDSMcode

"Turn Back!" cried my Inner-Poxy Fule.

oh, analpaws

older black lady working at potbelly at midway airport was shoving this into her purse as she arrived at work

truly, a work that crosses age and ethnic barriers

Kinda curious how they'll get a PG13 rating out of the movie adaption

Three Words: Big Black Bars.

response option confusion

Can't wait to see how they're gonna turn this into a PG-13 movie

― ʕ•̫͡ʕ•̫͡ʕ•̫͡ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, May 22, 2012 11:23 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark

Kinda curious how they'll get a PG13 rating out of the movie adaption

― Dreaming in Infrared (kingfish), Thursday, May 31, 2012 2:31 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

Kinda curious why people would assume they would even try to get that rating. if The Hangover and The Matrix and Pretty Woman can be as successful as they were with R ratings, and the whole draw of the book is sex, why would they tone it down any more than they'd have to to avoid NC17?

not sure why anyone assumes a 50 shades movie will ever be made? there are some pretty key formal differences between fanfic and film that would prevents its success in the latter form

remove the generic, non-descript narrator that readers project themselves onto, tone down the graphic sex, what's even left? tbh i think the first-person 'everywoman' pov is pretty crucial to the appeal

but i guess i can't rule out that the movie might happen, worse & stranger things have happened.

if this does get made into a movie i cannot WAIT to see who gets cast in the role of the inner goddess

People are assuming a movie will be made because the books made a gajillion dollars and Universal bought the film rights.

Queen Latifah xp

THE RED ROOM OF PAIN - INT. DAY.
CHRISTIAN IS FLOGGING ANA'S NAKED TUSH WITH A PING-PONG PADDLE.
INNER GODDESS (V.O.)
JEEZ.

thread title always makes me hum

http://rgcred.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/grateful-dead-touch.jpg?w=470

Just whistle thru your teeth and spit

"Touch of Grey" could be the prequel

The 50 shades of grey album would be a mashup of to the extreme and the kids of widney high

People are assuming a movie will be made because the books made a gajillion dollars and Universal bought the film rights.

...for at least a few million.

the author and agent got the prestige track record of James Schamus’ Focus Features, backed by the guaranteed passion of Langley, who chased this one hard.

Ang Lee, maybe?

I have an idea for a film. It’s about an innocent creative executive who is drawn into the dangerous and erotic world of slash fiction writing after he boss assigns her to comb through Twilight fan faction sites looking for an idea he can rip off.

Comment by Michael — Monday March 26, 2012 @ 12:07pm EDT Reply to this post

haha "chance"

The author and agent did a similar thing when they set Fifty Shades of Grey up with a publisher. They chose Random House because they wanted the backing and bucks of a big publishing house with a Vintage imprint that gives the trilogy the chance to be regarded as literature and not some trashy sex novel.

People are assuming a movie will be made because the books made a gajillion dollars and Universal bought the film rights.

...for at least a few million.

― Odd Spice (Eazy), Thursday, May 31, 2012 12:53 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

the $4 million or whatever film option fee has to be a relatively small fraction of the grosses from 10+ million in book sales

i thought the $4m option only gets paid out if the film gets green lighted? idk

The whole time this thread's been around I've been reading the title in the voice of Toby from the American Splendor movie. "SHLAAAVES, tell me about FIFB-TY SHADES of GREY."

"You can't have any of my White-castle Ham-burgers, SHLAAAVES"

50 worst synonyms in 50 Shades of Grey

I like my women sentient and receptive

well who doesn't, really

looool @ sentient

More words bad!

can we talk for a second about enervating energy tho

most of those are fine

even "sentient and receptive" fits better with the clinical dryness of the rest of the line than the suggested replacement augh what the fuck am i doing

I'm still stuck on decadent hair. xxp

oh man, thesaurus abuse is one of my favorite things to spot!

these are such classics.

endeavoring to quell my nerves made me lol

The offense: “My subconscious nods sagely, a you’ve-finally-worked-it-out-stupid look on her face.”

The fix: Stop personifying your subconscious.

this is the best, fuiud

shoulda stopped at 20 worst and only put the really bad ones

Yeah a lot of those "corrections" sound worse than the originals, at least out of context.

Yes, some of this seems a bit nitpicky. It's not like this is Iowa writer's workshop.

“For the first time in my life, I voluntarily go for a run … I need to expend some of this excess, enervating energy.”

I dare anyone to defend this

"all this energy, it's so TIRING; I'd better go running"

I don't get that article. In the first ten examples, there's only one that I can see that is problematic, and that's the use of tautology. The rest, well, they're just words. And relatively common words at that. Making the words simpler/more Germanic/less Romantic (in the linguistic sense, obv) don't change whether the writing is good at all.

*doesn't change, sorry.

yeah, there are a couple lelegit offenses in there, especially the words with nearly duplicate meanings, but most of the words highlighted in that article are acceptable choices. Looks like Patti shot at the broad side of a barn and missed.

16-17.

The offense: “He sits down beside me and buckles himself into his seat, then begins a protracted procedure of checking gauges and flipping switches and buttons from the mind-boggling array of dials and lights and switches in front of me.”

The fix: “He sits down beside me and buckles himself into his seat, then begins a dragged-out process of checking gauges and flipping switches and buttons from the mind-boggling array of dials and lights and switches in front of me.”

Yeah, no. If anything, you want "drawn-out process," but there's nothing wrong with "protracted."

"Dragged-out process?" Really?

“My heart is in my mouth as I reread his epistle and I huddle in the spare bed practically hugging my Mac.”

I would like to see a defense of this, too

Yeah, I'm scrolling down some more and I think I might hate whoever wrote this article more than James herself. FFS, do you REALLY think that people won't understand the word "immaterial"? Or "imploring"? What the hell is wrong with you? Yes, cut tautology and cliche, that's fine, but essentially what they're suggesting is that these words are alien and pretentious, when they're perfectly fucking serviceable words with real meanings.

The offense: “He hits me again, and the pain pulses and echoes along the line of the belt. Holy shit … that smarts.”

The fix: “He hits me again, and the pain pulses and echoes along the line of the belt. Holy shit … that hurts.”

emil.y -- you make an interesting point! that's why i think at least 30 of those are a matter of personal preference rather than straight thesaurus abuse.

there's an added wrinkle:
i have noticed that there's also a general tendency among (young?) writers to regard flowery language as pretentious and "simple" language preferred as a way to communicate down-to-earthness. using "look" as a transitional word to change the subject of the next paragraph, preferring phrasal verbs to precise verbs, using conversational language to communicate accessibility while discussing something that is possibly considered at least somewhat highfalutin, like politics or w/e.

that's another topic though.

IMO, what the author of this article is suggesting is that these words are being used to bring a veneer of sophistication to some stupid bullshit

The offense: Fifty Shades of Grey
The fix: Don't Read It