Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

i love a parade

unless i am trying to park near it. fortunately i no longer have a car

old ppl are okay I GUESS

Calling the ground/sidewalk/road the floor.

Only acceptable of you also call the sky "the ceiling."

Ugh IF

or if it's helo referring to the 'deck' or 'head'

Mookie let's make a deal: I get one hand holding in public per five streetcar rides where I'm in the center & can only use the ceiling for balance.

ppl should not be permitted to hold hands in the public places of major metropolitan cities. a) it is too crowded and they are taking up too much indivisible space b) fuck ppl in relationships

ppl too short to hold on to the high bars on the edges of subway cars should not be allowed to ride the subway. at the very least they should be firmly reprimanded/mercilessly teased for hugging the center poles and preventing normals from passing

Showing us all how it's done. Damn, son!

mookie has permanently changed the way we think about irrational anger.

there is an iatee-like efficiency of thought here. this could change everything

When I click on threads like the SUMMER JAMS 2012 thread and it completey crashes my browser.

my irrational complaint -- our work is going to start doing monthly happy hours at the office, and they're having beer and wine. i should be happy and grateful, and I am looking forward to it, but can we not bring in some liquor? We've always only ever had beer/wine at work functions, and I want to speak up for the excluded liquor that's just dying to come to our offices and be consumed by me.

(my incipient alcoholism rearing its ugly head)

My boss complains about even beer and wine, she thinks it's inappropriate conduct to have drinks in the office at all, during work hours. I'm pretty sure she's gotten at least one or two cocktail events shut down.

I am totally opposed to any attempt to get me to socialize with my co-workers. Hate that shit. Especially when it involves functions outside the office and outside of normal business hours.

A colleague of mine (not my boss but a boss) torpedoed two departmental Christmas parties in a row because she refused to contribute financially to any event that involved liquor. These are off site, mind you, usually at restaurants. Generally the bosses pay for their staff to attend. This year, we had one without her and a different boss paid for her staff to attend since she refused to do it. Her staff was new, too, and this was a rare opportunity for them to meet and interact with our department.

I don't care much for work events either, but if I am going to attend one, it will definitely have to involve booze.

carl, that is so mean-hearted and selfish of her.

She's very religious.

So's mine.

yeah, in general i think my work has a good approach to these things -- these happy hours won't be during work hours and will be completely optional -- and it's actually the result of staff complaining about a lack of this type of thing and wanting more interaction with work colleagues (we have plenty of happy hours organized by ourselves, but evidently people don't want to have to walk the 5 blocks to a bar). i prefer our self-organized ones, because at least i can order whiskey! but it'll probably be fun, i should chill. (sorry to hear about these religious bosses who are anti-booze!)

- I know there are smokers 'round these parts and I'm sorry but I'm on week three of this amazing illness that started in my ears and has settled comfortable in my chest and twice today I've walked past people smoking on the sidewalk and gotten facefulls of smoke, and then two other times I rode in the elevator with someone who was either a heavy smoker or had recently smoked and dear lord, I thought I was going to die from coughing. Everybody just quit smoking, goddammit!

- people who step into an elevator and look around idiotically and say, "Is this going up?" and then people say, "No, it's going down" and they go, "Oh!" all surprised like how could an elevator ever be going in a direction where they are also not planning to go, and then get out, usually flailing their stupid arms between the closing doors. Bonus points if they flailed their way past a closing elevator door to come in and ask the elevator's direction. Extra IA on this because not only are there lighted arrows the doors indication the direction, the "ding" is different for up and down, AND when the elevator doors open a voice announces the direction the elevator is fixing to travel.

That last bit describes elevators in my building. Triple IA because those elevators are always fucked up in some way, and the ratio to down elevators descending one floor to the food court to up elevators ascending to the entire rest of the building are, probably due to some Satanic algorithmic programmed by Helmut Jahn during a mean drunk, about 4 to 1 so it takes forever for an elevator to arrive, meaning they are always crazy packed (with people who reek like cigarettes).

I'm thisfuckingclose to drawing a huge chalk arc on the sidewalk in front of our building to show the smokers what 15 fucking feet looks like. No, standing directly in front of the door breathing smoke into the faces of everyone entering and exiting doesn't quite cut it.

Sometimes I am IA about how it's impossible to open a window in summer without someone smoking right underneath it and all their smoke coming into my living room, but then before the indoor smoking ban it was impossible to open a window in summer without someone mowing a lawn and endless hours of mower noise and nose-itching cut grass fumes wafting in, and then there's always the wasps, so

I think what we're all learning here is that IA is a state of mind.

http://www.danhunter.org/pictures/cover2.jpg

sometimes i wish i were still a smoker so i could get back at the upstairs neighbors who stomp around 24/7 and blow smoke in their general direction, but alas i am restricted to staring balefully at the ceiling after every stomp.

Use a broom, do morse code back at them!

My office never does birthday or holiday celebrations due to one of the eight of us being a jehovahs witness, which honestly is great as it minimizes forced socializing. But we have somewhat frequent exhibit openings and my boss is always super eager to get a university alcohol permit for them.

I'm normally begrudgingly tolerant of smokers having been one myself for quite some time, but the upper respiratory issues are making my patience for inhaling somebody else's particulate matter pretty thin.

ffm, i wish i could, but it only makes them stomp harder in response. (I've tried to knock on their door abt it but they don't open the door for me)

sometimes i wish i were still a smoker so i could get back at the upstairs neighbors who stomp around 24/7 and blow smoke in their general direction, but alas i am restricted to staring balefully at the ceiling after every stomp.

1. pee in dish.
2. put pee-dish in freezer.
3. freeze.
4. remove frozen pee from dish.
5. slide it under neighbors' door like a frisbee while they're at work.

haha. i've had thoughts about buzzing their door at 3 am but am way too paranoid and guilt-ridden to pull any revenge schemes off with satisfaction.

- the only task I have to complete today is the same task I complete every Wednesday.
A) customer sends files b) I shepherd the files through the system and make sure nothing goes pearshaped.

today we had a breakdown in step A because customer failed to complete self-explanatory step A)i): check that the files are sent.
it took me telling them I don't have it for them to even look. RAGH RAGH RAGH RAGH.

pplains is a revenge genius!!

woah pp! Nicely done!
That sucks rayuela :( Vengeful and boorish is the worst! (Unless people I like are being vengeful, in which case it's okay.)

I've been saying "x is my jam" for like 6 years tbh

smuckers is my jam

def is my jam

When people think that not practicing or otherwise not making an effort to rehearse is OK because at the show we can just jazz it out, man.

No. No, people don't really say that. They can't, can they? Really??

I would kill those ppl

^^

Improvising is not an excuse for not learning the material.

It is also not just making shit up, always grinds my gears when ppl assume that about jazz and related.

hang on which one of you is saying improvisation isn't making shit up, i need to know who to be IA at

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy-Y3HJNU_s

I should clarify what I said: improvisation isnt just making *any old random shit* up. Obviously there's a level of "winging it" involved though.

I got nothing against improv. I'm saying if you are lazy and never want to practice and when you do practice you only learn part of the material....then justify your sloth and inflate your ego by saying it's like "jazz" or "noise" or "avant-garde" rather than just you not wanting to put in an effort.