people that YELP are scumbags

QED -- http://consumerist.com/2012/05/diner-demands-100-gift-card-to-not-post-negative-yelp-review.html

OMFG the comments on that article:

Do I think extortion is ok if the customer was more reasonable with their request? Yes.

So if you reasonably extort a business for your favorable yelp review, its fine. Fuck these entitled assholes.

sufreak
May 29, 2012 12:04 PM

I just posted a less than stellar review of a horrible experience I had on Yelp. We'll see what happens.

I've lost a lot of respect for Yelp after the gay wedding dress debacle of '11, but I decided to give them another whirl to see if they've smartened up.

haha wut

I'm sorry, I'm still back on As one snooty booty teeny still in her soccer finery with entitlement etched all over her face cut in front of me, I bit my tongue as the expletives fought to get out.

(I majored in acerbic sarcasm in college)

snooty booty teeny

snooty booty teeny weeny yellow soccer finereeny

hahaha OTM, I was literally just typing that out

o/

\o

also dying at the transcendent description of the experience of eating the ice cream followed up with "from now on, I'm only going to DQ"

re. jeni's, that place is fucking amazing. i had a scoop of ice cream w/ gin-soaked plums and it was oh my god i can't even.

it's expensive but it doesn't set off huge alarm bells and clearly people are willing to pay the money so whatever.

there's a cafe around the corner for me that charges $4–5 for one cup of coffee. they are real prissy about making each cup individually, measuring out the water, timing the drip, etc. but the prices are so out of line with even the other prissy cafes around here that they just don't get much clientele. so they are fucking themselves over and it's almost redundant to complain. except that it can be frustrating watching a local business make poor decisions. you want to able to enjoy them, you want them to stay open, etc.....

i don't think it's inherently bad to complain about prices on yelp, esp. if they are phrased as a warning. "the coffee is great, but be warned you will pay $5 a cup."

there's a cafe around the corner for me that charges $4–5 for one cup of coffee. they are real prissy about making each cup individually, measuring out the water, timing the drip, etc.

i can't fucking stand these places. i'm not gonna yelp about it or anything but come on. the dumpy coffee place down the block from me closed and one of these artisanal one-cup joints went into the space and it really sucks.

also dying at this:

I don't normally hold back,(I majored in acerbic sarcasm in college) but this time I did as I didn't want death by glaring from a pack of self righteous pretentious yups who no doubt just blew Northstar. Now I love Northstar for the food, I just can't stand the crowd.

are you seriously insulting these people for hypothetically going to a restaurant you like

The scoop is the size of a large MELON BALL for gawd's sake.

I can do without some spotty faced metal grilled sports biotch cutting in front of me. The next time I will hurt her feelings.

that entire review is pure gold

Doctor Casino's summary is perfect

are you seriously insulting these people for hypothetically going to a restaurant you like

― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, May 29, 2012 2:06 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hipsters hate hipsters

more like self-important people hate everyone else

yuppies who hate yuppies who hate hipsters who hate hipsters

Great thing about the Jeni's review is that when I first posted it there were only one or two things that really jumped out at me about it but it just keeps revealing further layers of obnoxious Yelp douchery, bravo everyone!

http://i.imgur.com/MaEXF.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c8/Ouroboros-simple.svg/220px-Ouroboros-simple.svg.png

people that scalp are yumbags

The sushi rolls were good. The transition between a ceremony setup and banquet tables was as long as a few pulls of beer. Yogurt sauce doesn't make the fruit skewer more than okay. You don't really see a sunset over the harbor. It just gets darker.

would read the novel of which this is the first paragraph. or last.

I've lost a lot of respect for Yelp after the gay wedding dress debacle of '11, but I decided to give them another whirl to see if they've smartened up.

haha wut

― goole, Tuesday, May 29, 2012 6:34 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I had to find out what this is all about
http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20094347-71/yelp-to-pull-critical-reviews-of-anti-gay-marriage-bridal-store/
http://www.yelp.com/biz/here-comes-the-bride-somers-point

You don't really see a sunset over the harbor. It just gets darker.

I feel like this sentence will change my life

huh interesting re: the "gay wedding dress debacle"

it's worth remembering that yelp's business model is essential extortionate, is it not? as i understand it they allow 'reviewers' to run riot, but will approach businesses with a 'value-add relationship' ie they'll manage the review list for a fee, spiking the bad ones, promoting the good ones, idk, something like that.

(if i'm right about this) it's sorta akin to facebook's real audience being advertisers who want your precious data, not you -- yelp's client is a business who want to keep their own yapping hordes at bay

wow some of those reviews are BRUTAL

$200 fee due to "weight gain"

Daddy had a stroke in the ER. We had a room here for two weeks but they would want to move him to other floors on short notice. My father was on hospice care so they sent us the hospital bed and oxygen. The other choices they gave us were palliative care or rehab. We had chaplains, nurses, and social workers visiting.

I guess I just really like this screen cap http://i.imgur.com/YcJom.png

"I'm giving 3 stars, only to be fair, since I haven't actually been there."

About 629,000 results for the search "I haven't actually" site:yelp.com

Hahah wow, that search.

That is beautiful.

One-star review of a Chinese restaurant that has a Japanese name:

"What a disappointment. Got fooled by Japanese name. As soon as you walk in the door, a sign of today's special all written in Chinese. Should have checked Yelp first. Or walked out. Service very slow even though we came late for lunch. Ordered green tea. No taste and not hot. Chopsticks, another sign, not Japanese. Music is also Chinese. Well we ordered any way, too late if day to go somewhere else. I just still can't understand why you have to trick people like this with the name. Looks like they are going to try to do sushi, they have a sushi cooler but right now has fruit or something in it. Not fish.
Food came same time as soup. Mom ordered garlic beef not spicy. Came without garlic. I order Shicuan beef, it was ok, not the best. It took a while before server came to ask how we were doing. When we explained about the garlic, server took the plate, came back with a woman who just couldn't understand what was wrong. My food got cold explaining. Then finally offered to make new. Rice is also Chinese. Lots of it and dry. The server is very nice and well mannered guy. But I dont think we will be back.
I'd to explain my " pickiness" when it comes to Japanese food. My mother is Japanese, I'm half, born there. My husband is Japanese.
If are going to be serving Chinese or something other then what you lead the customers to believe, you are totally Fake! We cook Japanese food at home but it is nice to get out of cooking and have someone else cook it and serve with a smile.
If I want Chinese, I go to Chinese. If I want American , I go to eat American food. If I want African, same. I just don't get it. You might be able to fool some people , but eventually , the causes you are making will catch with you. I didn't even want to give this place an one star. Just as bad as the Edo down the street. Why people? Do you keep on getting fooled , if you pay cheap, you get what you pay for."

they have a sushi cooler but right now has fruit or something in it. Not fish.

I ordered food to go this evening and they got my order wrong. Most of the people who work here don't speak much English. Clam tofu and mushroom tofu soup sound nothing alike. Say it with me, "claaaam", "mushroooom".

claaaaaaaam

no clam?!?

a bold clam

no clam at young dong

Ha! How did you know it was Young Dong?

i googled one of those sentences!

also, goole is magic

i want clam! *bangs knife and fork on table* clam!! *pushes everything off table in one motion and jumps up on it* CLAM!!!!!!!!

well, the third sentence. because i figured the first two would get a ton of hits each :/

xp bored magic maybe

mushrooooom

you are a fucking child:

pro:
generous w/side dishes
meals include onion pancake
free fruit to end the meal
delicious!!

con:
don't take away dirty plates
didn't refill our drinks the entire meal
they don't scoop the rice out for you like BCD

this place is a magnet:

I think my review for this place is a little on the generous side. Sure, they sat my buddy and me rather quickly. But they stuck us into this tiny, offshoot, storage type room with a couple tables set up in it. Seriously? We felt so cut off from the restaurant and the world! And I swear, there's some slight racism going on because all the people sitting in that tiny room were the ones who definitely don't look Korean. Fail. Anyway...