slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

Plus why is she afraid of a drawer full of vibrators? That sure beings being used as a human ice cream dish or having your boyfriend pull your tampon out and twist your hips around and turn you into a car.

that sure BEATS being used

With this kind of writing, I could have a runaway best seller erotic paperback.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13572249-bared-to-you

So 50 Shades of Grey has thinly disguised fanfic now? Which is being picked up for publication? And will probably inspire its own fanfic?

The level of utter naivety/lack of knowledge of the subject matter is so crushingly embarrasing.

THE BUTT DRAWER

flushing like a stoplight.

I got so distracted by THE BUTT DRAWER that I missed "flushing like a stoplight." What even what I don't know what. What?

flushing like a stoplight sounds like a wacky britishism until you think about it and realize it's just the worst simile of all time

"Don't you like the butt drawer?"=First-round inductee into Question Hall of Fame.

tbh I am just imagining a chagrined stoplight on a toilet

i don't wonder what's in the third drawer.

Stopping by another airport bookshop last night, flipping open one of the books and skipping around a bit, I quickly found a section where he was twisting around a butt plug like she had a bad starter.

Clan of the Cave Bear this ain't.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4jfv2LnMN1qh9nffo1_400.jpg

dear little baby jesus, please let marc loi review this book.

he won't, but his inner goddess will

if he wrote the book the third drawer would contain plan b.

plan butt

flushing like a stoplight sounds like a wacky britishism until you think about it and realize it's just the worst simile of all time

Someone I know once said they were so embarrassed they were "glowing like a Belisha beacon" and I didn't know what that was and everyone ended up taking the piss out of me instead of the bad simile (even worse than "flushing like stoplight" tbh as who the fuck blushes orange?)

a what?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belisha_beacon

It's a flashing orange light on top of poles at pedestrian crossings in the UK. I managed to live in the UK for 30 or so years without knowing what they were called.

you must have been agate with fury.

His inner goddess sure was.

I gaze at him and shrug, trying to brazen out my shock.

“It’s not top of my Christmas card list,” I mutter nonchalantly.

For some reason I keep reading that as 'brazen out my sock'.

that reminds me, musn't forget to send the butt drawer a christmas card this year

'to brazen out' as a transitive verb phrase, that is some next level moron poetry

lol i suppose this is the thread where i confess that i once read an erotic gay s/m novel at the recommendation of a (straight, female) friend and it was actually, well, not a 'good' novel but at least compelling and decently written and i found it quite steamy despite my reservations

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41ce9aPvPAL._SL500_.jpg

also radically changed my view of robert guillaume forever

Unlucky-in-love crooner John Mayer thought he had discovered the ultimate serenade: putting erotic chick lit to music.

In an appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon Tuesday, the Grammy winner, 34, admitted he attempted--unsuccessfully--to woo a woman he was interested in by performing a page from racy bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey.

"I was trying to impress her, and she had [the book] on her Kindle," Mayer revealed. "And so I said, 'I'm going to sing it to you.' So I sang her one of the pages of Fifty Shades of Grey."

Host Jimmy Fallon cracked up hearing Mayer recount his story. "Oh my gosh. And she died on the spot? She's now dead?" he questioned his guest.

"She fell to the ground . . .laughing," Mayer admitted sheepishly.

He would.

lol Mr. Benson

lol enbb, i am imagining benson in a peaked leather cap with a riding crop in his mouth

No crop but: Best Beloved Benson

(maybe nsfw but because of words on image not image itself)

loling at "Mr Benson"

occurred to me that the Kindle is what has made this book so big, because who wants to be seen holding a porno book on the subway?

This is exactly what's happening here, with 10 million copies sold.

I'm sorry I'm still stuck on 'brazen out my shock'

you just need to bemused out your disbelief, vg

Joe Eszterhas has been gunning hard to write the screenplay (really).

xpost I think I'm just going to alcohol out my consciousness

Eazy please tell me you're not serious

and lo I beheld four horsemen...

what what? in the butt drawer

Adrian Lyne needs to come out of retirement for this one imo

A reanimated Coleman Francis could do the job

erogenous zone cuba

The Beast of Erotic Flats

imagining a monster who hates heels

a sexy monster

He gunned her hard in her *wink, wink*.

"I'm Cherokee Christian!"

lol