slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

I'm going to start using "What manner of kinky fuckery is this?" whenever I'm confused or angry from now on. (Which is most of the time.)

you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery

you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice

this woman looks pretty much exactly like i assumed she would

"I think she likes sex already."

I was already sick to my stomach when I read this, but now I feel so much worse.

gaze upon the face of icequeen's snowdragon and tremble

Look how KINKY.

http://knopfdoubleday.com/files/2012/05/EL-James-for-web.jpg

so this is a book about will ferrell and rachel dratch's "lovers" characters from snl right?

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:24 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

I am going to blame EL James when I leave work early today.

it is so crazy to me how that fan fiction is taking america by storm

your boss is going to hear that as "i need to go home and masturbate" fyi (xpost)

:/

btw keep an eye out for my 'eat, pray, love' erotic fan novel, 'gag, beg, fuck,' arriving in bookstores this fall

hey america! your fantasy life is creepy boring and stupid

xp lol

the next dozen or so US bestsellers -- you read 'em here first

comments.stories.xnxx.com

This Ain't The Munsters XXX: A Novel

one of those porn companies should do a 50 shades parody where there's no sex, just their bad actors eating ice cream and talking about their day

fucky kinkerbean

NASCAR Harlequin is far more respectable

fucky kinkerbean

lollllllll

Ben & Jerry's Kinky Fuckery

“This is for me?” I whisper.

“For you.” He nods slowly.

“This is the butt drawer?”

He smirks.

“If you like.”

I close it quickly, flushing like a stoplight. Tentatively, I open the second drawer.

“Don’t you like the butt drawer?” he asks innocently, amused.

I gaze at him and shrug, trying to brazen out my shock.

“It’s not top of my Christmas card list,” I mutter nonchalantly.

He grins.

“Next drawer down holds a selection of vibrators.”

I shut the drawer quickly.

“And the next?” I whisper, ashen once more, but this time with embarrassment.

“That’s more interesting.”

I meant to ask: what Yerac's been posting is obv from the orig twilight fanfic, and i know they changed the names and what not but was the actual published book at all edited? I mean is it exactly as we're reading here? Because christ on a crutch, it'd fail a high school english homework task let alone be published in a sane world.

the butt drawer

It is exactly the same.

(uh putting aside the obvious lols of submitting BDSM novels in english class, that is, haw)

xpost shit, really? Fuck, and I talked myself out of ever trying to be a published author years ago. WTH.

Plus why is she afraid of a drawer full of vibrators? That sure beings being used as a human ice cream dish or having your boyfriend pull your tampon out and twist your hips around and turn you into a car.

that sure BEATS being used

With this kind of writing, I could have a runaway best seller erotic paperback.

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13572249-bared-to-you

So 50 Shades of Grey has thinly disguised fanfic now? Which is being picked up for publication? And will probably inspire its own fanfic?

The level of utter naivety/lack of knowledge of the subject matter is so crushingly embarrasing.

THE BUTT DRAWER

flushing like a stoplight.

I got so distracted by THE BUTT DRAWER that I missed "flushing like a stoplight." What even what I don't know what. What?

flushing like a stoplight sounds like a wacky britishism until you think about it and realize it's just the worst simile of all time

"Don't you like the butt drawer?"=First-round inductee into Question Hall of Fame.

tbh I am just imagining a chagrined stoplight on a toilet

i don't wonder what's in the third drawer.

Stopping by another airport bookshop last night, flipping open one of the books and skipping around a bit, I quickly found a section where he was twisting around a butt plug like she had a bad starter.

Clan of the Cave Bear this ain't.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4jfv2LnMN1qh9nffo1_400.jpg

dear little baby jesus, please let marc loi review this book.

he won't, but his inner goddess will

if he wrote the book the third drawer would contain plan b.

plan butt

flushing like a stoplight sounds like a wacky britishism until you think about it and realize it's just the worst simile of all time

Someone I know once said they were so embarrassed they were "glowing like a Belisha beacon" and I didn't know what that was and everyone ended up taking the piss out of me instead of the bad simile (even worse than "flushing like stoplight" tbh as who the fuck blushes orange?)

a what?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belisha_beacon

It's a flashing orange light on top of poles at pedestrian crossings in the UK. I managed to live in the UK for 30 or so years without knowing what they were called.

you must have been agate with fury.

His inner goddess sure was.

I gaze at him and shrug, trying to brazen out my shock.

“It’s not top of my Christmas card list,” I mutter nonchalantly.

For some reason I keep reading that as 'brazen out my sock'.