slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

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Christian lies beside me, his hand caressing my belly, his long fingers splayed out wide.

"How’s my daughter?"

"She’s dancing." I laugh.

"Dancing? Oh yes! Wow. I can feel her." He grins as Blip Two somersaults inside me.

"I think she likes sex already."

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

producer / dj / humanitarian (reddening), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:19 (fourteen years ago)

"i think she likes sex already"

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:19 (fourteen years ago)

Oh no. That's not really from the book, is it?

carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:20 (fourteen years ago)

Blip Two

johnny crunch, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:22 (fourteen years ago)

I want to unlearn how to read now please thank you

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:22 (fourteen years ago)

his long fingers splayed out wide

*shudder*

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:23 (fourteen years ago)

um

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:23 (fourteen years ago)

WHAT THE FUCK

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:24 (fourteen years ago)

so this is a book about will ferrell and rachel dratch's "lovers" characters from snl right?

congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:24 (fourteen years ago)

I didn't think anyone could top "Jacob falls in passionate love with an infant" from Breaking Dawn but here we are

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:26 (fourteen years ago)

really in the book! (hopefully that works)

producer / dj / humanitarian (reddening), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:26 (fourteen years ago)

My god. This lady is a menace.

carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:27 (fourteen years ago)

oh for the love of god don't read past that quoted section

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:28 (fourteen years ago)

come back VC Andrews, all is forgiven

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:29 (fourteen years ago)

Ha! I don't know if I'm willing to go that far.

carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:29 (fourteen years ago)

Every generation gets the VC Andrews it deserves.

carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:29 (fourteen years ago)

haha

horseshoe, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:30 (fourteen years ago)

I jerk awake, woken by a high-pitched squeal of delight from my son, and even though I can't see him or Christian, I grin like an idiot with my glee. Ted has woken from his nap, and he and Christian are romping nearby.

WHERE IS THIS GOING, LADY

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:31 (fourteen years ago)

I dunno about you but old VC's incest seems like frickin Dostoyevsky next to this blandrotica

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:32 (fourteen years ago)

“Christian! You are such a kinky –” He swoops on me suddenly, kissing me hard, his leg thrown over mine, grabbing my hands so they are above my head.
“You love the kinky fuckery,” he whispers, and he runs his nose down mine. I grin up at him, caught in his infectious, wicked smile.
“Yes, I love the kinky fuckery. And I love you. Very much.”

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:37 (fourteen years ago)

good god.

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:37 (fourteen years ago)

"You kids better cut out that kinkey fuckery right now or I'm turning this car around"

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:38 (fourteen years ago)

also the body descriptions remind me of Wizard of Oz - "then he took my legs and he threw them over THERE, and then he took my chest and he threw it over THERE"

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:39 (fourteen years ago)

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/50-shades-grey-author-jamess-interview-16154474

goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:40 (fourteen years ago)

ice cream

game of crones (La Lechera), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:41 (fourteen years ago)

followed by a dollop of ice cream

game of crones (La Lechera), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:41 (fourteen years ago)

I used to really like ice cream.

carl agatha, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:44 (fourteen years ago)

a sex shop creeped her out, so she did her research "online"

goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:44 (fourteen years ago)

the "ice cream followed by ice cream" thing is giving me huge flashbacks to the midthread lols here:

"Sink Immigrants Boats" says Nick Griffin

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:45 (fourteen years ago)

also the body descriptions remind me of Wizard of Oz - "then he took my legs and he threw them over THERE, and then he took my chest and he threw it over THERE"

dying

Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:46 (fourteen years ago)

a sex shop creeped her out, so she did her research "online"

― goole, Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yet another detail that contributes to the novel's overall sense of having been written by a 14-year-old

this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:48 (fourteen years ago)

I can't get past the kinky fuckery.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:50 (fourteen years ago)

few can

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:50 (fourteen years ago)

fucky kinkery

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:51 (fourteen years ago)

(also thanks to that phrase, I am now picturing Christian as being played by Bert the Chimney Sweep from "Mary Poppins")

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:52 (fourteen years ago)

I'm going to start using "What manner of kinky fuckery is this?" whenever I'm confused or angry from now on. (Which is most of the time.)

it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:52 (fourteen years ago)

you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery
you love the kinky fuckery
i love the kinky fuckery

jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:53 (fourteen years ago)

you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice
you like-a da juice
I like-a da juice

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:54 (fourteen years ago)

this woman looks pretty much exactly like i assumed she would

jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:55 (fourteen years ago)

"I think she likes sex already."

I was already sick to my stomach when I read this, but now I feel so much worse.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:57 (fourteen years ago)

gaze upon the face of icequeen's snowdragon and tremble

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:57 (fourteen years ago)

Look how KINKY.

http://knopfdoubleday.com/files/2012/05/EL-James-for-web.jpg

it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:58 (fourteen years ago)

so this is a book about will ferrell and rachel dratch's "lovers" characters from snl right?

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, May 24, 2012 2:24 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

some dude, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:58 (fourteen years ago)

I am going to blame EL James when I leave work early today.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:59 (fourteen years ago)

it is so crazy to me how that fan fiction is taking america by storm

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:03 (fourteen years ago)

your boss is going to hear that as "i need to go home and masturbate" fyi (xpost)

some dude, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:03 (fourteen years ago)

:/

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:04 (fourteen years ago)

btw keep an eye out for my 'eat, pray, love' erotic fan novel, 'gag, beg, fuck,' arriving in bookstores this fall

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:07 (fourteen years ago)

hey america! your fantasy life is creepy boring and stupid

xp lol

goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:08 (fourteen years ago)

the next dozen or so US bestsellers -- you read 'em here first

comments.stories.xnxx.com

goole, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:09 (fourteen years ago)


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