^^ thanking u
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:35 (twelve years ago) link
Rich, powerful suit-wearing man will show you who's boss but not too much.
That's the basic plot of almost every romance novel ever. I think 50 shades just has more kinky sex?
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:35 (twelve years ago) link
As he plunges deep inside of me, my head lolls back and an involuntary "UFF DA!" escapes my lips.
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:36 (twelve years ago) link
lol amon
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:36 (twelve years ago) link
what was that fantasy conan-type novel some anonymous teenager wrote that would get passed around at conventions and ppl would take turns reading it out loud? the hero's name was "Glrg" or something...
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:38 (twelve years ago) link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gor
?
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:40 (twelve years ago) link
but i get the idea that much of that stuff is at least very well-crafted
Uh...
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:40 (twelve years ago) link
Gor blimey
xpost
"Now that's different!" I gasp, as he turns me around and pulls back my hips.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, May 22, 2012 2:34 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
lawl
― goole, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:41 (twelve years ago) link
oh, Eye of Argon.
"You make love well wench," Admitted Grignr as he reached for the vessel of potent wine his charge had been quaffing.
A flying foot caught the mug Grignr had taken hold of, sending its blood red contents sloshing over a flickering crescent; leashing tongues of bright orange flame to the foot trodden floor.
"Remove yourself Sirrah, the wench belongs to me;" Blabbered a drunken soldier, too far consumed by the influences of his virile brew to take note of the superior size of his adversary.
Grignr lithly bounded from the startled female, his face lit up to an ashen red ferocity, and eyes locked in a searing feral blaze toward the swaying soldier.
"To hell with you, braggard!" Bellowed the angered Ecordian, as he hefted his finely honed broad sword.
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:43 (twelve years ago) link
nugs vs raspin vs grindage.
― Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:43 (twelve years ago) link
romance novels are nothing new, i think this one is only remarkable because 1. it's a breakout hit of self-publishing, 2. it had a built in niche audience appeal due to its origin as twilight fan-fiction, and 3. it is kinkier than most examples of the genre?
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:46 (twelve years ago) link
"Remove yourself Sirrah, the wench belongs to me;"
AMAZING.
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:49 (twelve years ago) link
Are you guys unfamiliar with romance novels?
u bet yr ass.
I might read this if it was written in the style of Penthouse Forum letters, better yet if G Gottfried did the audiobook.
― World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:49 (twelve years ago) link
The lead character sounds like the mom form Bobby's World.
― oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken. (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:51 (twelve years ago) link
Oh jeez is so midwestern, it reminds me of these guys:
http://www.totalpackers.com/images/dabears.jpg
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:57 (twelve years ago) link
I wasn't kidding about my wife's fb feed being full of mothers in their 30s going on about this book & the ensuing fuckfests with their astonished hubbies.
― Euler, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:58 (twelve years ago) link
Times like these make me so happy I don't have a fb account.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:00 (twelve years ago) link
man i need to step up my oversharing game. i mean, just b/c i haven't been gettin' any lately doesn't mean that there haven't been some... ~personal fireworks~ that i'm guessing my fb brethren would just love to hear more about
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:04 (twelve years ago) link
"Oh laws yes" she murmured as he harvested her cornfield
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:07 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW-4Fn-d9OY
― Hare Kinsey (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:11 (twelve years ago) link
loool, bathtub mom hahah
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:29 (twelve years ago) link
"You're darn tootin'!" she exclaimed as he thrust into her womanhood.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:31 (twelve years ago) link
"Boy howdy!"
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:32 (twelve years ago) link
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he put a boner.
― spextor vs bextor (contenderizer), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:33 (twelve years ago) link
"Rasps" makes me hear a Moe from the Simpsons type voice.
"That's right baby!"
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:34 (twelve years ago) link
"You'll feel this one right in ya hoo-hah, baby" (in Moe voice)
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 20:35 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/the-15-bestworst-lines-from-erotic-bestseller-fif
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:01 (twelve years ago) link
holy lol
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:05 (twelve years ago) link
salsa/meringue line ftw
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link
it was a dark and stormy genitals.
this is just killing me
― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link
lol @ stock photos!!!
― goole, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:07 (twelve years ago) link
"but holy hell is this erotic"
goly gee am I ever turned on right now
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link
"inner goddess"
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link
kudos to remy for this thread title btw, i've been giggling at it all day
― goole, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:11 (twelve years ago) link
I never before imagined women having inner goddesses that danced on clouds during S&M role play. I have learned something about women today.
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:11 (twelve years ago) link
we are apparently very mundane, erotic beings
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:12 (twelve years ago) link
"i stiffen"
― shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:12 (twelve years ago) link
"I'd like to bite that lip," he whispers darkly...
oh does he now
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:14 (twelve years ago) link
i.p. stiffenbacher
― shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:14 (twelve years ago) link
Cheese and crackers, this is erotic!
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:15 (twelve years ago) link
#9 sounds like some kind of stomach flu
― Hare Kinsey (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:19 (twelve years ago) link
My inner goddess has explosive diarrhea.
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:20 (twelve years ago) link
Could you put some music on, please?” “Certainly, ma’am. What would you like to hear?” “Something soothing.” I see a smile play on Taylor’s lips as our eyes meet briefly again in the mirror. “Yes, ma’am.” He pushes a few buttons on the steering wheel, and the gentle strains of Pachelbel’s canon fills the space between us.
― the acquisition and practice of music is unfavourable to the health of (abanana), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:34 (twelve years ago) link
you guys have clearly not read the romance writer's phrasebook as extensively as i have
― game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:43 (twelve years ago) link
I want to madlib all these so bad
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link
and I've been thinking of you LL this whole time, you are QUEEN of this <3
just sayin
― game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link
the romance writer's phrasebook
that was a great thread btw
― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link
i've made a bunch more in fact, i haven't even made it past chapter 6/12 on tumblr
― game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 21:46 (twelve years ago) link