also, you're being assfucked
by 40 distinct voices!
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 15:31 (twelve years ago) link
50 or no deal
― game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 15:32 (twelve years ago) link
A little weird putting a followup post from the Excelsior thread back on a source thread but:
--
There must be...fifty shades to lose your virginity.
― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, May 22, 2012 8:16 AM (15 minutes ago)
Just let out an "Ack!", JackUtter an "Oy!", RoyBlurt out a "Yikes!", MikeThen forcibly put your wang in her pooper
― Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, May 22, 2012 8:22 AM (8 minutes ago)
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 15:33 (twelve years ago) link
occurred to me that the Kindle is what has made this book so big, because who wants to be seen holding a porno book on the subway? but with the kindle you can read your porn in public and no-one knows. except for the person looking over your shoulder (which was me, one day, on BART....I realized later that the book the woman was reading had to have been this. it was pages and pages of someone getting fucked in a bathroom and included the line "put your cock in my mouth". she was a polite looking middle aged mexican lady.)
anyway I'm sure none of this is as good as the anne rice porn books.
― akm, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:43 (twelve years ago) link
I saw someone reading the second bk on the train just this morning, don't think the covers are putting anyone off, really. Or getting anyone off, unfortunately.
The Roquelaure books are first-class for budding dabbling in erotica.
― how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:45 (twelve years ago) link
my wife's fb feed has been full of Midwestern moms posting e.g. "reading 50 Shades & my husband is getting sore from all the pounding" so I'm just happy nice people are getting megalaid out of this
― Euler, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:51 (twelve years ago) link
This Thomas Tallis fellow makes me want to convert to Catholicism.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6RgaPTo4hE
― All kinds of heinous things, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:53 (twelve years ago) link
On the flight from Auckland to San Francisco I sat next to a woman about my age who was reading 50 Shades of Grey. I was about midway through the new Stephen King and was not at all tired, so basically her and I had this mini-readathon for almost the whole flight - there was never a time when we were both not either reading or sleeping, but mostly reading.
I'd seen the books at every airport during my trip but I didn't know anything about them so now I'm like ...well they can't be written any better than Twilight or she'd have been running off to the bathroom the whole time, lol
Also consider this: Muse inspired S Meyer to write Twilight. and now Snow Patrol/Kings of Leon inspire 50 Shades of Grey.I think we need some kind of master plan to deal with these poisonous influences.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:00 (twelve years ago) link
Are we about due for a terrible sexy pirate book inspired by The Script?
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link
Movie soundtrack to include Kaizer Chiefs?
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:19 (twelve years ago) link
Louis XIV iirc
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:22 (twelve years ago) link
Ball gag with a skull and crossbones on it
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:27 (twelve years ago) link
Strap-on hook
Some of the most disturbing parrot sex in contemporary literature
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:28 (twelve years ago) link
A Red Room of T-PAIN, where they AutoTune the fuck out of you.
― Hare Kinsey (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:28 (twelve years ago) link
You beat me by 2 seconds, I was about to just post "Sex Parrot"
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:28 (twelve years ago) link
We need to get a Captain Morgan tie-in deal on this, too.
― Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:30 (twelve years ago) link
50 men shit on a dead girl's chest, yo ho yo ho
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:34 (twelve years ago) link
Perfection.
― Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:35 (twelve years ago) link
I kind of want to turn this into a Tallis thread
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9BnqgvHCNw
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:40 (twelve years ago) link
Can someone explain to me, actually, the phenomenon of women posting about reading this book on facebook? You don't really see guys posting "Ready for a relaxing evening -- a sixer of Sierras in the fridge and Anal Sluts 3 in the DVD player, lol!"
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:45 (twelve years ago) link
and really, thank god for that
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:50 (twelve years ago) link
I know, i mean i'm assuming whoever posted upthread about seeing that sort thing on his fb feed was exaggerating, but still it sort of boggles my mind
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:59 (twelve years ago) link
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120501163509AAQHAVt
― shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:00 (twelve years ago) link
i mean, not mentioning reading it, but more the added comments about sex life with their husband
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:01 (twelve years ago) link
i guess it ties in to the mass popularity/acceptance thing
― 40oz of tears (Jordan), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:01 (twelve years ago) link
I don't think it's exaggeration. I have seen TONS of people on Twitter mentioning that they're reading it. Like, every woman I know. (Although one of them tweeted the other day: "#FiftyShadesOfGrey I just finished it. Gotta say it did very little for me. What's up with all the women that go cuh-razy for it? #NotSoSexy.")
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:04 (twelve years ago) link
xp obvs
You can still read the original online but googling the title (posted upthread) + pdf. just fyi.
― gyac, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:06 (twelve years ago) link
my stepmom brought it up at dinner the other night. and my dumbest coworker tried to convince us all to read it.
― toandos, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:09 (twelve years ago) link
can anyone confirm or deny that the so-called tampon scene actually appears in the book? my belief in god depends on the answer, thx
― producer / dj / humanitarian (reddening), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:11 (twelve years ago) link
He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.
50 Shades of Grey: The Quickening
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:16 (twelve years ago) link
are they having sex or making bread
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:17 (twelve years ago) link
Oh jeez.
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:17 (twelve years ago) link
I am lolling hard at "oh jeez"
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:18 (twelve years ago) link
oops, there goes my skirt down under my feet, oh jeez
^^^ lolz
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:19 (twelve years ago) link
Oh, jeez. Argh.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:19 (twelve years ago) link
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me
Hahaha are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? This woman is now a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE for this?
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:21 (twelve years ago) link
a few comments down on that thread:
Originally in the fic he threw [the tampon] on the floor. When fans got insanely grossed out, she changed it to the toilet.
i don't know what's worse, throwing a used tampon on the floor or actively reminding the reader that all the sexy action is happening next to a toilet.
― producer / dj / humanitarian (reddening), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:22 (twelve years ago) link
"oh jeez. oh gosh golly. oh... goodness! heavens to betsy!"
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:24 (twelve years ago) link
he raps as he grinds
― shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:27 (twelve years ago) link
it's just depressing i guess "the power of marketing". i've not read much airport bookstore kinda genre fiction but i get the idea that much of that stuff is at least very well-crafted
chapter in future version of "extraodinary popular delusions..." book: in 2012 tens of thousands of ppl convinced themselves that a poorly-written fanfiction novel was sexy
― dell (del), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:28 (twelve years ago) link
"I like big butts and I cannot lie," he raps as he grinds into me.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:29 (twelve years ago) link
so basically the lead woman in this is a young Edie McClurg?
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:29 (twelve years ago) link
Or Eddie Murphy's Aunt Bunny.
― i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:30 (twelve years ago) link
I mean it can't ONLY be the power of marketing, otherwise it would be much easier to create runaway bestsellers like this, I'd think.
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:30 (twelve years ago) link
This author and her publisher just somehow, perhaps accidentally, found a way to package porn so that it's palatable to the average non-porn-consuming woman, and the timing was right. Maybe Mad Men opened the door for it a bit?
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:31 (twelve years ago) link
wait waht
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:31 (twelve years ago) link
Mad Men is lady porn?
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:32 (twelve years ago) link