Best snippet of overheard conversation

same guy I don't know showed up at my house again, overheard from the next room: "It was like a fuckin' retard show. With all the retards. *shaking his head*...fuckin retard show..."

"I'm always gonna be chillin' in my environment, just keepin' it natural as I can."

Damn, that doesn't really capture the full awesomeness of this guy's speech.

"KISS were like awesome, they wouldn't leave the stage, everyone was cheering, they were like 'oh we've been asked to stop playing, but we're gonna stay and play', and then they were like 'oh here come the cops, we gotta go', it was great. You didn't see KISS did you?"

"no"

"SUCKS TO BE YOOOO"

"he looks like a cross between j mascis, as he is now, and daniel johnston ... as he is now"

a couple of years ago at a festival.

[pregnant woman on bus, to boyfriend]: "i was chainsmoking today cuz i was missin' u"

I was stood on the corner in Soho, and Tim Westwood passed by, talking on his mobile. All I heard was the phrase 'Hip Hop vs. America'

"He was a retarded chicken nugget. Who was purple."

Classic bcz the topic is obvious, totally free of context! Also a charming interpretation of the Grimace's mysterious status.

More McDonald's fun, involving an American woman at the Charing Cross location: "Raaawwb, they don't have chicken selects here!"

[If she'd've gone up to read the full menu instead of standing halfway to the door looking at the giant pictures of food she'd know the UK does in fact sell chicken selects. Best part was they'd already been to Pizza Hut and had a small boxed pizza in hand. Homesick, maybe?]

at work two people were needing to take the elevator down, and stupidly got on an elevator going up. one of them protested, but the other insisted they needed to do this, explaining they would have to take the elevator back down when it reached the top.

the other person protested that they were just going to see the same people in the elevator on the way down, but the other person insisted they needed to take the up elevator to go down.

fairly sure if this confused them, the job must have pummelled them

Hip-Hop dude coming up the escalator Grove Street PATH stop: "Yo, we just came across the water and already I'm noticing a drastic reduction in filth and fashion"

ancient black guy coming up to me at work today in his rascal scooter, vocalizing the tune to Strangers in the Night with the words 'Scooby-dooby-doo-scoo-scoo-scoo-scoob-and-Shaggy-too'

uf you heard someone walking around munmbling about filthy dominicans, thats me. never trust a dominican

'i mean everyone and anyone has got to watch out for his mental insaneness, like !'

^^^some vicky pollard-a-like in a caff yesterday

Female Intern: Who's Stan Lee?
Laid Back Male Intern: He's like the Leonardo of comic book artists
Pretentious Male Intern: Well, (sniff), of the second generation of comic book artists
Laid Back Male Intern: Ok whatever, the Rembrandt of comic book artists

but but but.. stan lee isn't an artist!

excerpted from a longer post on the Chicago thread about the hilarious pompous dude sitting the next table over from me at a restaurant:

[To set the stage: the dudes were talking about signing up for one of those organic vegetable things where you get a bag of organic groceries direct from the farm each week]
A: How do you know what vegetables you're going to get? Like, how do you know you won't just get a bagful of asparagus. You know how I feel about asparagus.
B: Well, you wouldn't get asparagus because it's not asparagus season.
A: That's good ... but what about when it is asparagus season? Can I, like, opt out for asparagus season? Because you know how I feel about asparagus.
B: ...
A: Look - I love my green vegetables. But you know how I feel about asparagus. [looks at list of vegetables you get on his friend's phone] Hmmm ... these look pretty good though. But are they certified organic?

but but but.. stan lee isn't an artist!

It always seems weird to people like me who don't know anything much about comics that the people who are the real gods of the scene are the people who write the text, and the people who do the drawing don't seem to get anywhere near as much fanboy adoration. You know, seeing as to us non-comic-reading philistines being able to draw seems like a pretty rad talent to have and the main feature of "comics" as a concept, and the actual text seems like a less interesting deal, in a way.

But! That is not for this thread. Just sayin' cz it's made me shrug on a few occasions listening to somebody babble in worship of Alan Moore or Warren Ellis or Garth Ennis (lol total Britisher comics perspective?) or whoever and not even mention the art.

Two geezers approaching one another in Leicester Square, one yelling to the other:

"Is it there? Is the fucking money there? It'd better fucking be there."

"I'm not trying to recruit her! I don't want her! I fucking hate her, the bitch."

Actor Michael Rapap@rt who I sort of love saying to a friend " . . . sometime something something HERPES something something" then looking back over his shoulder and yelling to me, "Not me, I don't have herpes!"

Overheard at a Starbux the other day: ""Unpasteurized is more healthier because it doesn't have the preservatives for a shelf life. Pasteurized is pasteurized."

""..and then he swaps the baby for an ipod.."

"she's still technically his wife cause he passed away before she signed the divorce papers, but she had been livin with this other man in colorado and she just had a baby by him and how are you still gonna go to a man's funeral wearing the wedding ring when you're pregnant by another man in colorado"

"he asked if I was 29 or 30 and I was like well I'm just not gonna say 29 or 30 because if you were under 30 and you were going out with a girl it'd be better if she was 29? Right? Right? RIGHT? So I'm, like, I'm not gonna, like, 29, 30, whatever. And then his friend like just asks me *outright*. And I just, erm, I just lie.

(pause - guy says something quietly)

So yeah, I just lie and say I'm 29, because he asked me, like, outright and ifyour're20somthingit'sgonnamakeadifferenceifyourgirlis29andnot30. So I totally lied and now, now, now he thinks I'm 29 and not, like 30".

(pause)
(pause)

(Guy): "If I was you I'd forget all about that conversation"

"They want to shine at someone else's expense. I shine at my OWN expense."

"yeah well I have a different interpretation of Jack and Jill than she does"

not so much 'best' just bizarre as i walked past two guys on campus

'He wont even marry her! the fucking faggot!'......HUH?

At the bus stop coming home from work. Overweight (late?) middle aged woman to older man: "I GAVE you my ass!" And later something like: "That was a one time thing." Seems like he had some idea that he had a claim to it.

Yesterday on the bus some woman was going on at great length about the terms of her parole and the fact that she had to go on medication and she didn't want to but she was going to do it because she didn't want to go back to jail and HIS OWN MOTHER TRIED TO TURN HIM AGAINST ME, BUT HE DIDN'T LISTEN BECAUSE HE LOVES ME, and so on.

Unbelievable some of the stuff I hear on buses here, actually.

"I've never seen a white ice cream man."

- "I think I'd like to move to Oregon. Theres no sales tax there."
- "My grandfather was shot in Oregon."
- "Oh. I'm sorry. Was it bad?"
-"Yeah. He died."

(Two baristas in Starbux.)

I am in a coffeeshop, sitting next to a guy who is arranging a "bi/poly deal" over the phone for his "female friend, who is a very sweet girl" and " what I would say... umm... it's not one of these 'I'm a horny guy who wants to crash it deal'...I know that it's a woman, rather than a guy, and women generally are welcome and single guys are generally not... but if you show up with a woman that's another matter, but a guy coming himself... heh, heh, oh REALLY?... well the stereotype is that us sci-fi guys are all virgins.... you think? you think? well, you're a tall good-looking guy, billy, so I can understand why they might take you instead of, I won't name any names... I'm 53, but I look a little younger. When I was younger, when I was 42, I brought a 19 year old... and just to keep in mind I'm not looking for something for myself, I'm more into one on one things with young girls, just asking for a friend. keep it in mind..."

in an airport, on the phone:

"I have a conscience, I don't need yours"

well-to-do couple on tube:

mrs pigbottom: did you just scratch your bum and smell your finger? don't do that, stop it stop it *smacks his hand*

mr pigbottom: *too out of breath to speak*

2 minutes pass

mr pigbottom: *wipes sweat away from upperlip*

mrs pigbottom: YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!

watching them slowly realise the whole carriage were exchanging glances / laughing at them was so so so so classic

"She wants to write for WHAT? For a magazine? For this, for that?"

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

"... let's make lots of money ..."

'fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK you you're a fucker, mummy'

Four year old having quite the tantrum outside the window

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

― ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 10:31 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

man those guys are living life

those guys are tory mp's

Girl at next table in restaurant: "He said he would die for me, so I said 'go on then, die!'"

"her boyfriend came home and caught her drowning the youngest in the bath"
O_o

Is it wrong to hope it was a kitten?

That happened in LA a day or two ago (mother tries to drown her two kids - one dead, one in extremely critical condition). Probably talking about the news story.

Could be, but it sounded like she was talking about someone she knew. This was in Glasgow btw

http://www.ksee24.com/news/local/Mother-Snaps-Tries-to-Drown-Children-While-Father-Away-139456808.html

Fucking hell :(

Queuing out side a nightclub in Peterborough, circa 2000. Girl to her friend (thinking nobody could hear) "I could do with some cock in me tonight"