itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

someone just posted this in my FB feed:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/574971_673575748593_195203431_32159784_1506330559_n.jpg

which of course leads me down the mancards.com hole and wtf

http://mancards.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Screen-shot-2012-03-26-at-8.24.08-AM2.png

guess you gotta Ask What the Fuck? and whisper *wtf*

CRUDE
U
D
E

CRUDE
  U
  D
  E

Does that work?

close enough

Your point?

in your face.

zany? i am more lost then ever

omg its like a sleepaway camp icebreaker collage

Real men apparently don't know shit about spelling or graphic design

there's a post on mancards called The Top Most Hotties

smokin' hot babes with the power to completely obliterate Language As We Know It

be manly in your face

no zany man shit

MANLY PIXIE DREAM BRO

How there, assholes?

How? There. Assholes.

How there? Assholes?

How? There, assholes.

gentlemen... i give you... the awl:

When and What Do Guys Think About Pants? An Investigation

My mission, talking to dudes in a mall about pants, was not at all a failure. It was, in fact, instructive. What have we learned? That I was not alone in being someone who is not taking his pants as seriously as maybe he should be. That there are many other dudes out there in the same boat. That dudes are not used to talking to dudes about their concerns about their pants. These seem like things that should change. At least, this is all true outside of Allentown, Pennsylvania, in the general vicinity of the Lehigh Valley Mall and its connected lifestyle center.

This content was created for our partner Life Khaki from Haggar.

meet my life partner, Khaki Haggar

dude just talking to some dudes about dude issues

Hope their next article is sponsored by EZvasectomy.com

Sever your ballsack and kill yourself.

This content was created for our partners Sever Your Ballsack and Kill Yourself.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4tggp3hTF1rrzx66o1_500.jpg

you're all fucking beautiful

lol

I am dying of laughter here

bahaha

"you're beautiful just as you are, you don't need makeup to be beautiful to me"
*girl takes off makeup*
"wait, what's wrong with your face? you look weird. since when do you have freckles?"

that picture is A+++

also DONT

outer space boy can't get a gf tbh

glad the woman from pamplemousse is standing up for herself

looool

so annoying

boy's best comeback would have been "I wasn't talking to you"

not taking a personal position on that, just saying

outer space boy can't get a gf tbh

Doesn't leave much hope for me tbh.

amazon just sent me an email with cookbook recommendations:

Eat Like a Man: The Only Cookbook a Man Will Ever Need
by Ryan D'Agostino, David Granger, Tom Colicchio

Recipes Every Man Should Know (Pocket Companions)
by Susan Russo, Brett Cohen

The Real Man's Cookbook: How, When, What and Why to Cook
by William J. Rayment

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Cooking--for Guys
by Tod Dimmick

Sam the Cooking Guy: Just a Bunch of Recipes
by Sam Zien

How To Cook If You're Dumb And Have A Penis I Mean Can You Even Hold A Spatula You Dumb Fucking Troglodyte
by Donna Rouge

tbh cookbooks are the accursed grimoires of kitchen witches, if a man beholds a recipe that is not 'for men' then his testicles will wither and drop off like rotten fruit

the opening scene of 2001 except it's a bunch of dudes trying to figure out how to turn on a cuisinart

The Real Man's Cookbook: How, When, What and Why to Cook

one question that has perplexed men for ages is "why should one cook?"

chapter 2: when to cook

plan to cook at some point prior to when you plan to eat.

the question is not why to cook, it's WHO to cook

as A Real Man i was hoping to find a cookbook that would also tell me WHERE i can cook, since i don't know these things being A Real Man and all

what: foie gras
when: yesterday
where: garage
how: car battery
why: to attain true enlightenment

i totally endorse men being willing and able to cook for themselves (and and others!) and i hope to live to see the day when "bitch make me a sandwich" lols are no longer lol'ed. if it takes a 'man's cookbook' to set a guy in the path to learning those skills then... good? it's just sad & weird to me that 'for men' books apparently have to give permission for guys to learn this stuff and assure them it won't make them any less of a man?

which is kind of doubly weird if you think about celebrity chefs and even just regular restaurant kitchens and how they tend to be dominated by real manly macho dudes (read: insufferable assholes), which i mean there's probably an interesting point in there about cuisine and gender and trade/capital but my brain can't figure it out

Just a Bunch of Recipes

Zien, creator and host of the television show Sam the Cooking Guy, is very clear from the onset that he is not a chef; he also believes that certain things, like measuring ingredients (unless baking), are a "waste of time" and that 350 degrees is the "universal temperature" at which to cook everything. A self-proclaimed "regular guy," Zien thinks that people have "been wrecked by cooking shows with their millions of complicated steps and crazy ass ingredients." His recipes are for people who want to cook, but want to spend as little time and effort in the kitchen as possible.

(Pocket Companions)

so people who don't want to cook

real men want to cook but do not want to do a good job i guess?

Choose from recipes like Shrimp Tacos,Buffalo Chicken Pizza, and Steak Salad withBlue Cheese Crumbles as well as super-fast favorites such as Chili Corn Chip Bags and Tomato and Potato Chip Sandwiches