Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

also, she was a model or something :/
i've learned about myself that i only get jealous when someone is making me feel diminished or insecure. i've even been in non-monog relationships where i knew the person was sleeping with other people and i didn't experience jealousy because my needs were being met. so when i have that reaction it tells me that there is something really wrong.

and then there was this awkward point when i tried to join the conversation and he like, didn't even turn to look at me

Ugh.

double ugh
i would much rather be told straight to my face by the guy that's he's not so into me rather than him going this (what i consider) cowardly route

you will go out with someone right for you soon, b_g!! <3

i am still friends-with-fun with guy i met on okc last fall, and that is nice, but i haven't really turned to okc for any other dating, sort of thinking real life situations will supply. i don't know, it's spring and i have come out of hibernation, as have most other people :)

I decided I'd look around for a minute since it's been a few months since the breakup.

The 99% match that it threw at me is an atheist academic who had a link to a whole separate intelligence test questionnaire.

Which, I mean, yes, okcupid, that is kind of my type, but still, jesus christ, is dating really that horrifying now?

we are trying to arrange a time to have an in person conversation and i'm feeling pretty gutted by the torturous email correspondence we are having. i said
"i know that i can't make you be excited about me in the way you seemed excited about that other woman, and there is nothing i can do about that, but that is really all i want out of a relationship - to be with someone who is enthusiastic and excited about being with me and about ME as a person and thinks i'm smart/pretty/interesting/special and makes me feel loved and appreciated. i mean that's really the only thing i care about, but it is definitely a deal breaker not to have. it was so hurtful because i saw that you actually ARE capable of being excited about someone, and it was just me that you were not excited about. does that make sense?"

and he said that that makes sense...but didn't contradict anything, which i guess means he doesn't really think i am those things or worth his time. i feel like shitttttt.

Yeah I've dragged myself over those coals before :( It sucks.

In other odd news, a rather adorable guy who looks like a south american Wayne Coyne and who I'd peeked at recently and thought cute (but alas, it appears he lives in Sydney) has just messaged me to ask me "whats wrong with the Beatles tshirt?"

...he's referring to the image of me in my BATTLES tshirt, under which I have captioned "you'd be amazed how many people comment on my "beatles" tshirt, sigh". So, this guy has just done the very thing I was rueing. And not ironically as far as I can tell.

Do I correct him playfully? I feel like it'd be mean.

Tell him it actually says BRITTLES and offer him peanut brittle

If you can figure out a way to say Buttles...i don't know, but it could be funny

I'm sure Trayce can think of a better re-buttle.

there are plenty of awesome people who have no idea who battles are.

just had 6 hour+ okc date. trying not to get too psyched. failing at that. :/

friend got a match.com message from a guy who wants to "take his muzzle off" for her "expressive yet mysterious batted eyelashes" - message was titled "Are you a glutton for punishment?"

Um, people not knowing who battles are wasnt the point but.. anyway not to worry.

Also, ewww milo. Im so glad I never get creepy shit like that.

feel a little bad, I suggested match because I figured that a paysite would have fewer douchebags sending dick pics than OKC or plentyoffish

pretty sure a hundred dick pics would have been less disturbing than a message from Buffalo Bill

Hell yeah :/ *shudder*

just had 6 hour+ okc date. trying not to get too psyched. failing at that. :/

― bnw, Sunday, May 13, 2012 10:48 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

!!!

Yeah, whoa!

i've had dates i thought went well and got burned. never that long though.

i am playing it cool like the pimp playa i am right now. by posting to the internet about it. i have her number and she doesn't have mine. so its all on me. D:

B-g, sorry to hear about this. I thought he seemed like a cool guy. Let's get commiseration drinks soon.

Bnw, big pimpin'!

I just can't bring myself to go back on this site. Conjugating Spanish verbs seems more appealing.

yes to commiseration drinks. he was a cool guy but not a good person for me to be in a relationship with. he just didn't seem to really care about me at all. there is this whole cool guy hipster indifference bullshit attitude that i just need to stay as far away from as possible. i'd rather just date some total dork who is nice to me.

someone being nice to you is the very basic need - go for that+!

so my irl meet-people plan actually worked
o_O
so then my question is to bnw: how long are you going to wait to call yr date of sat night? and why? <-- the eternal question girls ask guys tbh

i guess there are other eternal questions. but this is a big one.

i hate waiting.

there is this whole cool guy hipster indifference bullshit attitude that i just need to stay as far away from as possible.

yes, this. I HATE THAT

I always make sure there is mutual number exchange. And text saying I had a nice time either the next day or a couple days later, depending on how we parted.

text is a good idea. danger is i don't want to rely on that. you have to man the fuck up if the girl is worth it. (that's to me, not you.)

I have no idea how long to wait :/ I am going to speak to my wartime consigliere later. prob I will call sometime this week and ask to go out on the weekend.

No, definitely call soon after that, but a casual acknowledgment is cool

idk, I feel like with anyone under 30 you almost have to text like "hey could I give you a call"

I prefer txt but its not an age thing, its an "i hate phonecalls" thing. My issue, ov course.

i fucking despise being phoned

All this stuff seems so formal tho. Maybe its an american thing. The whole going on a stiff date, doing only so much that firstevening, waiting X hours/days.... shit, I just hook up with a guy and usually bang him on the first night we go out, when I'm meeing new guys.

...I perhaps have said too much. o well.

'real danger' of Abbott ovenmitt

haha what is this about?

related to comical misspelling of 'government' w/relation to opposition leader in australian press

unless you also have scary ovenmitts

Thought i was in the wrong thread for a scary moment there

That Australian leader is nothing but a source of comic misunderstandings for me.
In thread-related news, I looked at OK Cupid for about 15 minutes and freaked the fuck out.

Bnw, my foolproof advice: call or text on Tuesday (no later!). I respect phone calls, but I wouldn't gainsay a text.

I hate the text-to-call maneuver. If someone wants to call, just call! Don't ask for permission via text. If I don't like you, I just won't answer.

Yeah it does that :(

I realise I forgot to elaborate on peener man upthread when someone asked. It was a closeup shot of a ... shaft. if you werent paying attention you probably wouldnt twig what it was, as it wasnt even the whole wang - no helmet, just icky veiny closeup shaft.

WHY GOD WHY.

oops my post is an xpo to Ab

itt we learn: Trayce likes helmets

Even non-helmet peener pics are against OKC's TOS, right? I mean, peens aren't like breasts, where you can leave off the nip/helmet and it's no longer R- or X-rated.

I would totally think so! I was gonna report him but I figured to do that I had to click on his profile which... ew, no. So I just hid him.

xps
yeah i'm of the "call by tuesday if date/mtg/etc was saturday" school of dating. but i'm also of the "aaaagh dating aaagh brain anxiety loop whyyy" school of hard knocks. (and i'm talking xp with anxiety thread anxiety, not mere dating worry)
like whether i even like a person or not. and so my pattern to get out of anxiety loop is to kind of immediately hit manual shut-down in my brain: "well that was what it was -> who cares -> it hardly even happened -> i imagined it/it didn't actually exist -> fin."
unhealthy tbh!
but part of why i stopped using okc 3 dates in yet still maintain my profile.
being aware of our problems is part of the process of solving them right
right...

well i was going to not reactivate my profile. but i did. i am weak and need attention. and already i have a message from someone who is cute and asked me what my favorite lovecraft story is and where i think bran stark is. and has les georges leningrad listed as one of his favorite bands which is endearing to me! though he claims to be a "recovering rock star" which is less endearing :/

I got one of those, too, bg. If I could stop him from talking about it, it would be pretty cool? I mean it's cool to have done stuff! Neato stuff! Just as long as you have done/are doing something else with yourself now so you have new things to talk about.

Clearly yours is spending is new-found free time watching Game of Nerds like the rest of us, so that's a start?