which characteristic you really can't stand in other people?

CRUNCHY ALMOND BUTTER on toast pwns all.

As to the thread question ... um, stupidity? Snobbishness? Dogmatism? Self-absorption? Gang mentality? Emotional excess in a learned-helplessness, look-at-me style? (I am guilty of all of these at times.) If I narrow it down any more than that I'll be here all night, fizzing with hatred. Fascinating answers, though.

oooh the last one is baaaaad

CRINCHY almond butter sounds ridICULOUS

if jesus were so good he'd get me out of the fucking pollution right now, and back home to my dog.

Hmmmmm, that sounds like you sort of have a feeling of entitlement.

wow this thread is making me realize i am pretty much perfect! :) :) YAY!!!

but really, what i hate is when people decide they want to say something insightful with the stem of their eyewear posed inquisitively near/in their mouth - GRODEY, ugh!!!

No particular order:

1) Men who seem to think they're onstage at a comedy club and think that every single comment, question, or observation that occurs within earshot needs a comeback, remark, or putdown.
Don't get me wrong: I love good comedy, but I'm sure even Bill Hicks knew when to shut up and let others carry the conversation. Hanging out with a Jerry Seinfeld wannabe is fucking exhausting.

2) People who genuinely believe that their taste in music, art, or movies makes them more intelligent than the general populace.

3) Fanboys who complain bitterly that their favorite comic book wasn't properly adapted for the big screen. Spiderman and the like aren't made for hardcore comics fans, they're made for people who like to go to the movies, and and no amount of whining about "story arcs" and "multiple universes" is going to change that.

i don't like it when people take pride in never regretting anything; some things in life are regrettable. also, claiming that it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't, doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

i don't like it when people take pride in never regretting anything; some things in life are regrettable. also, claiming that it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't, doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

-- estela, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 11:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Agreed. Regret is part of being human. So are foresight and hindsight.

conformity, i don't like.

it bugs me when people (usually youngish girls, by which I mean under 30) feign a carefree, uninhibited manner and do things like start to do the hoky-poky when they know a boy is watching -- or just that anybody is watching. Acting in a way that says, "look at me; i'm cute" and you can tell that the person is watching themselves and wanting to be watched. Like many things that bug me, I think I used to do this.

I am bugged by those who talk and act as if they care the most about "tolerance" but think that primetime TV-watchers are brainwashed idiots and that basically everybody who doesn't mirror their habits are idiots. They have clearly defined ideas about high and low art/culture but would never confess to being snobs. Whatever they read or watch has to have a social message or lesson. These are the people who talk about how bad racism and inequality are and then make comments like, "you should just hire a Brazilian and pay them nothing to do that paintwork for you."

I am bugged by those who resent everyone else for what they have.

People who think that things are the most important, well, things, bug me. You know those people who have to have the very best set of knives even though they don't really cook or who care very very much about watches or sunglasses, who seem to fill their lives with a pursuit for products.

I don't hate any of the above, they just bug me.

I really dislike anyone in the service industry, be they a builder, plumber, waiter, taxi driver, delivery person, or anyone else who tells me outright lies about a) how much the thing they're serving me with is going to cost or b) how long it's going to take. I'm not a moron. I'd much rather somebody said "it will cost €8000 and take a month, because one of my guys is on holidays and I've got another job on at the moment, so I can't start till I finish that" than say "it'll cost €2000 and be done in a week", but then actually cost €8000 and take a month. Just like if someone loses my order or just fucks it up, I'd rather they just apologised and put it right than made up some fake kitchen fire or something.

accentmonkey v v otm!

i don't like it when people take pride in never regretting anything; some things in life are regrettable. also, claiming that it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't, doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

-- estela, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 11:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Agreed. Regret is part of being human. So are foresight and hindsight.

-- Tantrum The Cat, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 4:35 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I don't like this either. I actually have a sort of distrust for people who are cocksure of their own goodness or rightness in general.

This may be because I know I spend time feeling guilty or feeling as though I could be a better person or regretting things, but nonetheless it bugs me when others never seem to do this.

I also really don't like people who are really cock sure of weird personal prejudices. I have a friend who, if you're relating an anecdote about somebody, would say "where (in Dublin) are they from" and when you said he'd be like "ah right" and nod to himself as if that explained it.

With people like this I sort of think "what box do I go into?" since presumably some sort of prefab exists for everybody's behaviour.

It's a little like psycho-analysing people or something, like "he's from this background therefore he behaves this way" but it seems really narrow and shitty to me. I don't know if others do this but it's a trait that bugs me hugely!

i spend a lot of time feeling guilty as well, what is that about?

doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

Is this the same as regret though?

Regret: 1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss

I've done plenty of things in hindsight I wish I wouldn't have. But I think regret's a useless emotion. It's like worrying about something out of your control. I look at past mistakes as lessons to be learned and move on, hopefully not to repeat them.

(when those mistakes truly hurt others, then that would be a different story)

Men who seem to think they're onstage at a comedy club and think that every single comment, question, or observation that occurs within earshot needs a comeback, remark, or putdown.

Ack, so OTM. Worse when they actually cut you off (even if you're talking to someone else) just so they can make their stupid comments.

regret is one thing, guilt and shame are another
xpost

i mean, i regret but in a 'how can i learn from that and not do something similarly ugh', as sam's said above

People who try to elicit sympathy/praise at every possible opportunity.

Overly critical people who feel like it is somehow their moral right or even duty to constantly offer unsolicited "advice" to people they may or may not even know. (And usually this advice says a great deal more about their own experiences, state of mind and faults that it ever does the person being criticised.)

But I think regret's a useless emotion. It's like worrying about something out of your control.

I think I disagree with this, but I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing. I agree that it's a waste to worry about things that are completely out of one's control, but what if it's something that would have been in my control if I'd been paying better attention? It's my experience that there are very few things that affect me personally that are completely out of my control. This makes me a control freak and a nitpicker, but I generally don't have to worry about regret, cause, at least, I took care of my end of things.

I guess that leads me to another answer to the thread question: holy fools who wander blindly through life and leave it to the anal-retentives like me to take care of the details.

For "blindly," read "blithely" if you prefer.

what if it's something that would have been in my control if I'd been paying better attention?

But again, this is in the past and you're worrying cannot change those outcomes. The best you can do is figure how you could have handled the situation better and try to apply that to the future rather than use your mental energy revisiting past mistakes.

But you have to revisit the past mistakes, at least a little bit, to understand how you could have handled the situation better! I'm not talking about wailing and hair shirts, just a pragmatic assessment as a route to improvement.

Ronan I remember you starting a thread about people who justify/explain shitty behavior by saying "well that's just how I am, I really am sorry if it ruffles any feathers".. I couldn't find it though.

I'm not talking about wailing and hair shirts, just a pragmatic assessment as a route to improvement.

I agree. It's the wailing and hairshirts I'm objecting to. ;)

people who justify/explain shitty behavior by saying "well that's just how I am, I really am sorry if it ruffles any feathers"

When I'm God, it'll be the bottom of the ocean for them.

(I'm not a hardcore comics fan but Spiderman sucked.)

"it'll cost €2000 and be done in a week", but then actually cost €8000 and take a month

Thing is, the "builders rip you off" thing is so prevalent that he has to tell you the first bit to get the job. If he told you it would cost €8000 and take a month he'd figure that you'd think he meant it would cost €32000 and take 4 months and would give the job to the lying €2000/week bastard.

My shortlist:

- lack of consideration for others, in anything
- people who don't listen and/or talk all over the top of what I'm saying
- people who think they're making arguments by repeating some shite they read in a newspaper editorial
- snobbery
- deviousness (though I'm kind of in awe of how some people pull it off - like actually being proper Bad Guys With Plans instead of muddling along)
- disingenuousness (sp?)

xpost over the top of Onimo's head: I did have a great builder once who, when I rang him, asked me who had recommended him, what job he had done for them, and how much they told me he had charged, so he could remember what their circumstances were and let me know if mine would be in any way different.

He also gave me the list of all the materials he would need and told me to order them myself, using his supplier (it wasn't that big a job) so that I wouldn't complain when I got the final bill, and so he wouldn't have to spend his time on the phone chasing supplies when he could be finishing off another job somewhere else. All I had to do was call him when the supplies arrived and he came and did the job. Bish bosh.

it bugs me when people (usually youngish girls, by which I mean under 30) feign a carefree, uninhibited manner and do things like start to do the hoky-poky when they know a boy is watching -- or just that anybody is watching. Acting in a way that says, "look at me; i'm cute" and you can tell that the person is watching themselves and wanting to be watched. Like many things that bug me, I think I used to do this.

Agh, agh, so OTM. It makes me grind my teeth now.

The main characteristic I hate in other people is lack of self-awareness, either physically e.g. they are always walking into me/knocking something over, or just saying something that is actually complete rubbish - people saying words for the sake of saying them, rather than to convey a specific meaning (see also: any commercial ever).

And people that don't pay attention. Like they're driving past a big sign that tells them where to park, and you can SEE that they haven't seen it and then they start a big conversation about where to park and it's just a big predictable waste of time.

ok i just thought of one:
people who carry giant golf umbrellas on city streets need to be rounded up and shot. no excuse for this!

Overeagerness

HI DOES PARK AND 45TH LOOK LIKE A GOLF COURSE TO YOU, U FUCK? NO? HEY ME NEITHER. xp

I've thought of another one. People who think and talk really slooooooowly, so you constantly have to slow down to their pace and you can't say anything too sharp or quick-witted because they won't pick up on it - this is esp. irritating to me as my brain is constanly racing along @ 900 mph thinking of inter-connections, puns, funnies etc. This isn't the same as being stupid. It's often found in people who smoke too much dope, in my experience. I met two people like this last night... Jesus, it's irritating.

OTM. I have a friend like this, he is a smart and funny guy but conversation with him is like pulling teeth.

You'll appreciate this Ailsa, I met the two guys in question last night at a pub quiz - you can imagine - this one guy was still talking about what size Mada-friggin-gascar is when the rest of us are ten questions further on...

"OK, so it's uh.... say 500... no... yeah 500 miles... is it square miles or uh... kilomotres... it's ummmmmm... say, 500 miles long... and uhhhhhhhhhh, what shape is it again it's ummmmmmmmm, sort of, ummmmmmmm.... sort of uhhhhhh... tear shaped isn't it... so it's 500 by..."

"OK, teams, hand your answer sheets in now..."

"...say, 200... 200 miles... so that's ummmmmmmmmm..."

OMG SYMPATHY!

humorlessness

People who like showing off how smart they are. A second relaed thing is when they think the measure of intelligence of having (or being in the process of attempting to get) a PhD, and have just never questioned this, and look down on people who have other plans.

oh yes - someone just claiming matter-of-factly they're good at this one thing ALL the time. how about actually demonstrating it instead of just celebrating it?

emotion.

pettiness, stubborness, general mean-ness of spirit.

jadedness, constant negativity. it's perfectly human to have dislikes and bad moods, but i know some people who have trouble seeing the bright side of ANYTHING. i guess i just don't understand people who have this hollow gaping maw where their sense of optimism and gratitude for the good things should be.

rolling complaints thread 2007 =)

this hollow gaping maw where their sense of optimism and gratitude for the good things should be.

It's often been stamped out, beaten out, set on fire, trampled and generally destroyed for most of their lifetime.

mine has nine lives, i think.

i also get frustrated with people who make excuses for their own inertia w/r/t giving a shit about the environment -- global warming is a real thing, and we're all contributing to it, so take some initiative and do your damn part. and stop being glib and condescending about people who actually do make the effort (even if it's relatively superficial).

A sense that life "isn't fair" and that's why you can't achieve anything in life.