Articles like this renew my inadvertent commitment to being a crass slob.
― Dale, dale, dale (Abbbottt), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:00 (twelve years ago) link
there's a magic ratio to shit like this; most of the list has to be stuff that everyone basically knows or does anyway
― goole, Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:02 (twelve years ago) link
15. Why they say life begins at 30
pro-lifers are just getting lazy
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:03 (twelve years ago) link
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
Except for my grandmother, who smoked two packs of Kools and drank a fifth of scotch a day, and had no teeth by the time she was 50 and lived to be 94.
― One Way Ticket on the 1277 Express (Bill Magill), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:09 (twelve years ago) link
tbf, "dude with a boner can't think straight" is borderline some 1950-shit
I totally see how it could be read that way, but nah dude, that's not what I meant.
― Meanwhile, on some cars... (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:13 (twelve years ago) link
ENBB I am pretty sure I have read this exact list before too-maybe even in the aforementioned Glamour. These are always variations on the same BS anyway.
almost all of it is totally vomitous.
― MrDasher, Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:15 (twelve years ago) link
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
this is only impressive if they all refer to the same incident
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:19 (twelve years ago) link
flossing is for fools
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:26 (twelve years ago) link
now way, everybody floss
― goole, Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:27 (twelve years ago) link
*no way
"now way" is some thing goole got into online that rquires a buy-in
― Meanwhile, on some cars... (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:28 (twelve years ago) link
drop that e
― ILX uh-huh-uh uh-huh uh-huh BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP (snoball), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:29 (twelve years ago) link
A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get bet...
NO PRESSURE LADIES BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:42 (twelve years ago) link
my umbrellas:1. an orange children's umbrella with a fox face and ears that stick up2. http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/6103BZ2h9BL._SL1021_.jpg
i think i win at being 33
― bene_gesserit, Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:57 (twelve years ago) link
oh man, definitely. Mine was the dark blue H&M one with birds on it that everyone in Toronto has.
― she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Thursday, 26 April 2012 20:58 (twelve years ago) link
I have one stripey one, one hot pink one and one with ruffles and flowers.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:00 (twelve years ago) link
That cat umbrella is amazing.
― wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:01 (twelve years ago) link
seriously ladies, now you must measure your self-worth in .... umbrellas! you thought they were just to keep rain off, but you were wrong.
― bene_gesserit, Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:05 (twelve years ago) link
tune in next month when we make you feel shitty for getting your dishware at ikea and wearing an outdated style of belt!
― bene_gesserit, Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:08 (twelve years ago) link
If I measure my self worth in umbrellas, I am either worth a lot because I buy a lot of umbrellas or I'm worthless because I leave all of my umbrellas in trains, buses, and taxis.
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:09 (twelve years ago) link
b_g: <3 <3
― how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:11 (twelve years ago) link
the first time i met laurel (in seattle) we were talking about the no-one-in-seattle-uses-an-umbrella mythology and i told her that i have two umbrellas, but only because they're cute. she gave me the great compliment of saying, "of course you do." (it's possible it was not meant as a great compliment but i chose to hear it as one.)
i also have a thing for cute suitcases.
therefore i voted for the umbrellas and suitcases option even though that list is exceptionally infuriating.
― lxy, Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:29 (twelve years ago) link
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
These two kinda contradict each other, I think.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:46 (twelve years ago) link
I have some really juicy flossing stories!
Umbrellas are one of those things i think of purely as a functional item, not a fashion accessory. My thought process is basically (a) i need to walk outdoors, (b) it's raining, (c) i don't want to get drenched, so (d) i grab whatever umbrella i find first so i'll stay dry. When buying an umbrella, I just look for one that folds up really small, is lightweight but strong, and not too expensive. I almost always get the black ones, since they never look out of place.
― Lee626, Thursday, 26 April 2012 21:58 (twelve years ago) link
I get why this list might make ppl angry but I also feel like, since my teens, I knew the magazine/fashion industry was craven and corrupt, not to take it all too seriously. Yeah, it's shitty to buy into the shit they're peddling but at the very least I refuse to even dignify it with comment.
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:00 (twelve years ago) link
Could someone post the male equivalent of this list so I can see which 30 things I am most assuredly failing at?
― Dr. Buzzard's® Original Banana Bread (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:08 (twelve years ago) link
i think it's okay to still point out that shitty things are shitty esp when they're from 1997 and being reposted without irony on huffington post in 2012
― obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:09 (twelve years ago) link
it's also okay to make jokes about them bc laughing is fun
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:10 (twelve years ago) link
since a month or so ago, when my mother said to me 'you're going to be 30 next year!' (which i am but i am 28 right now, okay) i have been feeling a lot of oh-god-i'm-nearly-30 type pressure. oh god i'm nearly 30 and i haven't got my shit together, oh god i'm nearly 30 and i have unreasonable expectations about how chill it's going to be to be a thirtysomething, oh god i'm nearly 30 and i haven't made enough bad choices in my 20s to pass muster as someone who's successfully 'done' their 20s, all of it.
and so even though i am not a women's mag kind of woman this sort of thing can catch me pretty hard - not the contents of the list itself, but the idea that there is a list, and i should be getting on top of it.
― c sharp major, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:30 (twelve years ago) link
oh my days b_g that kitten umbrella!!!
― c sharp major, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:31 (twelve years ago) link
confession: I bought the official umbrella that was used in rihanna's music video
― dayo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:35 (twelve years ago) link
clear umbrellas are the best, so much fun to stand under one during a downpour
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:38 (twelve years ago) link
Anyone remember the umbrella fetishist that posted here a few years back?
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:41 (twelve years ago) link
oh god i'm nearly 30 and i haven't got my shit together
I didn't start feeling like this until I was about 38 or 39.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:42 (twelve years ago) link
I have had so many umbrellas die on me in my life that I could never imagine getting a nice one
― iatee, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:43 (twelve years ago) link
the key thing is not to care about traditional measures of getting ones shit together
― Rachel Profiling (jjjusten), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:45 (twelve years ago) link
Getting your shit together is a temporary achievement...Everything falls part in the end.
― Bob Six, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:46 (twelve years ago) link
― iatee, Thursday, April 26, 2012 6:43 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark
heh I've always wondered why every single store in NYC carries the same generic black umbrella
― dayo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:49 (twelve years ago) link
somebody should do a study about it, like that one about the greek coffee cups
If anything, my shit has become ever-more-disparate in the five years since my thirtieth.
― Dr. Buzzard's® Original Banana Bread (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:50 (twelve years ago) link
Probably something I should talk to a proctologist about.
― Dr. Buzzard's® Original Banana Bread (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:51 (twelve years ago) link
i used to have this fucking awesome paul frank umbrella that, one of the big transparent ones, made of blue plastic, with some kind of monkey-based design. i was going to japan for a term and so i took it with, thinking, it's going to be the rainy season and i'll have a cute umbrella that will be different from the cute umbrellas everyone else has, it'll be awesome. and then it turned out that in japan, or at least in the town and university where i was, everyone had plain umbrellas, the transparent ones you could get in the convenience store or collapsible ones from muji. but cute character umbrellas were just... not done. so not cool.
― c sharp major, Thursday, 26 April 2012 22:51 (twelve years ago) link
These let-make-everyone-feel-inadequate lists not unique to women's mags btw - the likes of Esquire and even Popular Mechanics frequently publish, say, "25 Things Every Man Needs to Know" (#1 on Esquire's list: skinning a moose. Yeah, i really need to know how to do that), or "31 Things Every Man Should Own" ("Road Atlas - the man who only uses a GPS is half a man"). Here's ''75 Skills Every Man Should Master'' (#25: "Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it"). And act your age: "Things a Man Should Never Do After the Age of 30" - (#27: "Break up with a girlfriend by e-mail").
Actually, you shouln't do that after the age of 14 ....
― Lee626, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:04 (twelve years ago) link
let- = let's-
― Lee626, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:06 (twelve years ago) link
why would you want to go *back to* an ex b/f if he 'reminded you how far you've come'. what horseshit.
i mean lad's mags are no better obv but .. gimme a break
― piscesx, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:09 (twelve years ago) link
Much as I agree that this list is horseshit, I think you're misreading that one. It means two separate exes. One who you could imagine going back to. And another one who reminds you how far you've come.
― emil.y, Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:10 (twelve years ago) link
Not sure if anyone's already said so but this list is as OLD AS THE HILLS, I have seen it appear and re appear in Cosmo, newspapers, Facebook posts and so on for a long time.
And it still blows.
― fix it with like some music glue (Trayce), Thursday, 26 April 2012 23:36 (twelve years ago) link
this list is as OLD AS THE HILLS, I have seen it appear and re appear
Welp, AOL bought HuffPo for ~$365 million to provide it with more content.
― Aimless, Friday, 27 April 2012 01:26 (twelve years ago) link
30 lists every IPO buyout should publish on its website before 30 days
― fix it with like some music glue (Trayce), Friday, 27 April 2012 01:32 (twelve years ago) link