fuck cancer

Mark, I'm so sorry; my condolences to you and your family.

oh Mark I am so sorry. sending you love and support in this time.

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

A hug and kiss for you, Mark.

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

― dayo, Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

^^^ So sorry, Mark. Fuck cancer.

Sending you love and the tiniest lightening of this burden. I'm so sorry.

i'm so sorry mark.

Horrible news, very sorry to hear this, good thoughts to you and family Mark.

ta for the wired tlc ..

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

we were told back in december that there was a good chance of 12 months of settled life.

to say the last 4 months have been a living hell of health related shyte would be an understatement.

we have no let up from the hospital/a&e chaos, so in some ways, i'm glad that she is now no longer suffering, but damn, its heavy on those of us left behind.

how horrible, Mark. RIP, & I hope you too are able to find some peace in this.

mark i'm so sorry for you and your family's loss, i hope you all get all the love and support you need

Oh Mark, I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the strength in the world over the next few days and weeks.

That is horrible to hear, take care of yourself, man.

Also: fuck cancer.

Oh my God. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how horrible the past year must have been for you. My best wishes go out to you and your family.

Damn.

My condolences.

mark, I'm very sorry. words on a message board don't do it justice.

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

I switched oncologists recently, going to the big medical center named after one of the Rockefellers. My new guy is the teacher who taught my two old guys.

We went down the list, talking about the medications I had been given, what my diet could be, drawing a DNA helix on the paper of the examination chair and saying 45 minutes of exercise based on my age x 5 - 2 or something. That last one, "What does running up and down stairs have to do with cancer?" made him literally stroke his beard and say "We don't know. Everything I've told you is basically an educated guess at best."

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

i have an uncle who is a highly qualified doctor in canada - and he basically told me this back last year, so while we were getting the 'we will cure you' story from various folks here, i've been quietly preparing for this outcome due to the insider information from him.

still, doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier ..

good luck with your battle pplains - you have my heartfelt wishes and hopes for a more successful outcome.

for us, the big reveal was the discovery of an evil lump weeks after the completion of premium grade chemo that she underwent as that confirmed just how aggressive the fucker was.

(uncle confirmed that she got the best that was available .. so no complaints on that score)

Heartfelt condolences, mark. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way.

i'm so very sorry, mark.

Found out yesterday that mother in-law likely has pancreatic cancer. She got sick the day after we left for vacation, but apparently her doctor's been all kind of amazing and has run 6 months worth of tests in 2 weeks. From what I understand they think it's still in early stages, and possibly slow-growing though I'm still trying to make sense of everything so I don't exactly know all the details.

the worst part is that her Mum died of cancer when she was quite young, and her brother died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago, so it's just like AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

the gallows-humor lighter side is that because of a blocked bile duct she now has a major case of jaundice. She said over the phone that she was pretty green, but when she answered the door mr Veg and I were like, 'Whoa. you weren't kidding.' Wicked Witch of the West level neon green. It's really weird!

We visited with her yesterday - she's very scared, tired, etc, but still very much herself. I love her so much...it just fucks me up that she's dealing with all of this. Ugh!

bleh

AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

seriously.

hope they caught the fucker in time peppermint.

I know. I'd like to have her around for a lot longer :)

btw, my condolences to you, mark...a big DOUBLE FUCK YOU CANCER

cheers pepper.

borderline alcoholism + v. loud music helps.

a little.

<3 <3 <3

my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Friday. Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart. My wife had to take an emergency red-eye last night and fortunately made it home before her mom died. now they're waiting for more tests.

fuck you, incompetent doctors, fuck you cancer, etc.

Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart.

due to the time, i am assuming you are US based pepper, cos this scarily similar to our situation.

3 years of 'problems' that were ignored cos it would have cost a few quid to send bh for a CT scan ..

so, yes fuck you incomp. doctors and fuck you tory policy to make doctors even more important in the decision making process.

once bh was escalated to the next level of care then it has to be said, the care was absolutely fantastic, but the fact of the matter is that he problems were ignored by the the GPs for 3 years .. and the GPs defence : 'bh is too young to get stomach cancer'

ok, time for more wine ..

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

I was told just today that my aunt was in the final stages of her cancer, so I feel you. It's amazing how much money + resources gets pumped into research and how it's still such a crapshoot of who survives and who doesn't.

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

Here's the link. It's about a musician with terminal cancer staring the fucker down until the very end.

http://www.electricalaudio.com/johngrabski.html

pp i had no idea, i always avoid this thread. rooting for you.

same here PP. And Mark e,Sleeve,musicfanatic good luck to you guys too. Sorry to hear about all this. Good vibes to you all.

"he made a choice between two options, undergoing a regimen of treatment that might extend his life at the cost of its quality, or a less invasive course that would allow him to continue living more-or-less normally by suppressing some of his symptoms and alleviating his pain, without increasing his longevity. He chose that second course."

I must confess, if this is the appropriate place to say so which it may not be, that this will be my path, should it happen.

just to clarify, my tests have been clean since 2008, though I'm still in the system and they still dig out polyps every year that could turn into something worse.

I usually don't post in this thread because my story hasn't taken the turns others have made here.

Cancer is such a random unstoppable killer and it's very frustrating because some get better and some get worse. At least when you get eaten by a shark, the doctors don't go, Hmmm, let's try some of these painful treatments for the next six months and see what happens next.

There's nothing anyone can say here to mark or anyone else that can make the pain of losing someone any easier to take. Cancer's biggest sin isn't that it takes one person, but that it can infect entire families, the people left behind.

I feel like a jerk even saying anything, but I'm having such a hard time getting used to my mother-in-law's cancer.

It's basically going to be a fact of life for her. The cancer is small and slow-growing. She decided that she does not want to have chemo, since the doctors were not convinced that it would help and with her being upwards of 75 it could have pretty bad effect on her. She's not a candidate for surgery, which would have removed part of her stomach and left her in chronic pain for the rest of her life. So, the way it stands now, without any treatment the prognosis is 5 years. (And I know they don't mean much but still, hearing it in numbers like that is just, ugh).

She's decided to try a nutritional approach, using the Gerson diet? I'd never heard of it but apparently it's kinda popular among people in her situation, or with ppl who do not want to go down the chemo road at all. So she's gotta eat loads of fruit and veg and juices...and have enemas :/ ... but she figured it can't make her feel any worse, and her doctor basically told her to do nothing at all.

all of that aside, the hardest thing for me is that I haven't been through anything like this, not with anyone close to me. the last time a family member was even sick was my grandma when I was teenager. I was incredibly close to her, and she died when I was 16 -- my relationship with my MIL is very similar, because she's the same age my grandma was when she passed, and she's the most intelligent, caring, loveliest woman I know and I cannot get down with the idea that FUCKING CANCER is inside her now.

I know none of what she's going through now necessarily means that she has a death sentence, and yes we all die. but these past few weeks, I'm okay when I'm around her and we talk and everything's just like it always has been but if I think about her for too long on my own I just start crying because I really really don't want to lose her. She's like my second mom.

ugh even crying now as I type, goddammit. I just need to find away to settle into this, I need to get to some kind of acceptance, stay logical and not be scared and it's so hard.

<3

:)

ditto mooks here. sending good thoughts your way. fuck u cancer, and all illness, really.

thanks

Hoping this will help, if only ever so slightly: my dad was diagnosed with throat cancer...crikey, almost two years ago. He felt fine and was in generally good shape and was expected to live at least a few more years upon initial diagnosis. However, he went in for some extreme chemo treatments which killed him in less than a week. Although, obviously, not all situations are the same, it is helpful to remember that modern medicine sometimes doesn't know shit about dick. On the other hand, I know a friend of a friend's dad who, afaik, continues to do fine years and years after his cancer diagnosis as a result (one assumes) of undergoing a diet change much like the one you describe. So...hope for the best, I guess. It's all you have the power to do in your shoes. Strongest of wellwishing, VG.

that means a lot, Deric, and it really does help to read that. Thank you <3

However, he went in for some extreme chemo treatments which killed him in less than a week.

OMG I'm so sorry, Deric. That must have been so awfully hard.

I used to talk with this older woman who took chemotherapy with me. While my treatments were once every two weeks, for six months, hers were to go on perpetually once a week. She said that she wasn't ready to give up on life, despite the discomfort and spoke fondly of the Whippets she was raising.

I'd lay in bed for the next couple of days and think, man, that woman must sure love Whippets.

In other words, you'll never hear criticism from me about older people saying to hell with chemo, I'm going to stock up on vegetables and head for Mexico like Ambrose Pierce.

Had thyroid cancer in 2000. Every time i am about to get the green light on no more six month follow-ups, something suspicious turns up. Then it's another few years of watching and testing and nothing really turning up, which is great. At what point do you say fuck the follow-ups? Because this can go on forever.

Sorry to hear about your MIL and what you are going through, Vegemite. I have heard really great and miraculous things about the Gershon diet. Only, in fact. My uncle has been following the diet on his own, without the proper juicer and has leukemia but has been in extremely good health since. Being pro-active and making decisions like that, I feel, is a very good sign.

When doctors says a cancer is slow moving, you can bet then then it is slow moving. It does mean that they want you to come in for follow-ups and testing pretty often. What this does is keep cancer on everyone's mind even when things are not progressing or even looking up.

Thanks tera, I'm glad there's good stories about the diet -- honestly it sounds like a cross between a genius idea ie the nutrional approach, but also quackery with all those enemas but I definitely admire her being so pro-active. And she has a lot of support within the family, plus a family friend has been on the Gerson diet for a year or so now post-breast cancer, and is also a GP so she's been very good at helping get my MIL get good information.

I talked to Mr Veg about it last night, and he said that there's no reason I shouldn't just talk to my MIL, instead of trying to come to terms on my own. We have always had a very close relationship so it might be a good approach. idk. We'll see.

Talking things out can help tremendously.

forgive the question, but "MIL" ?

is that a US thing ?

this thread just underlines the sheer fucking evilness of cancer.

something i never really appreciated until it crashed into my world

(i know i know, ignorance is bliss, and in my case, it really really was bliss as we genuinely had a perfect life)

oh, and its one month since the evil lump changed our lives forever.

2 weeks ago i buried my wife.

so image how i felt when @ 9:30am this morning, my boss called to see if i was coming to a meeting this afternoon with HR to discuss my situation re returning to work !

my answer : "i'm still filling in the f*ckin' paperwork .. "

so a quick question for anyone else who has been through similar situations to me : how long before you went back to work ?

MIL = mother-in-law

(main reason I don't want to be gone is if mom wakes up weak/not feeling well some mornings, I can typically tell and say 'uhh i think you need to go to the hospital/doctor', and without me, there is nobody to be that second pair of eyes. but possibly my brother could stay over for two weeks).

that is stressful! Stay away from google!!!

I feel like if I'm honest, that my mother's health significantly changed after the assignment came up, they'll be cool.

yes that's legit and I should think so

I'm not going :)...woo.

I'm relieved for you, and also hope all goes smoothly with your Mom's treatments.

Fuck cancer, aye. All best, Neando.

We're dealing with a recurrence for my MIL. She had surgery to remove a small lung tumor a few years ago and had been clear after that, but it's back and advanced. They have her doing the pill-based chemo, which I guess isn't as intense in terms of how sick it makes you but still pretty bad. They think she can get a few years still, but it is looming and of course having a big impact on the family.

Good luck to you, Neando and tipsy, in dealing with this stupid disease.

Fuck cancer. Lost a good friend this week - long-standing but managed breast cancer which suddenly and unexpectedly metastised to the meninges. It was a swift passing after her eventual terminal diagnosis (she told me the day that they she had three months left, she died three weeks later). She was the best of people and I'm entirely done with losing friends to this thing.

My continued best to everyone who has this bastarding thing around their life.

i an so sorry to hear about this, ailsa. sending you and all who loved her some good vibes

so sorry to hear of your loss, alisa... that sucks. I couldn't even imagine being told that life expectancy info.
I lost a work colleague a few years back from pretty advanced prostate cancer.. he called me about a work thing on a Thursday (he had just received the diagnosis) and passed away the following monday; just super quick. It was quite a shock

Very sorry, alisa. Wish you had more time with your friend.

Really sorry for your loss, ailsa.

v sorry to read this ailsa, ❤️❤️ to everyone going thru it in the thread

Thanks everyone. It's just so cruel, the suddenness of it. As per Andy's experience, I had a work colleague whose husband went to the doctor with a cough and was gone within a week. It's just terrifying and awful. I suspect that's a better option than a long drawn out painful wait for the inevitable, but none of it's ideal.

I also hate talking about this to family as my mum is also going through her own breast cancer journey and me going "mind my pal that was in remission, well, she died" isn't exactly the kind of news she needs to hear.

Sorry for your loss, Ailsa - I heard of her death from a few different directions, she sounds fucking ace.

when we moved back to the UK in 2016 we knew nobody in our new home city (Ely) and it was quite isolating for my wife especially, but in that first month we made friends with this guy Nicholas, who had spent time in China and even spoke some Chinese, he was just endlessly generous with giving his time to this random family, and we stayed friends with him after we moved to Cambridge. He was Baháʼí and introduced us to the whole community, who we have spent a lot of time with, though we are not believers in anything.
A few years ago he was diagnosed with leukaemia. He seemed very ill from the chemo over the first year, the second and third he seemed on the mend, but this year he took a turn for the worse and had several spells in hospital, where we found out he had stopped treatment. When we visited him there he would just refuse to talk about himself and his illness, he would deflect everything to ask about you and your life instead, it felt like he was interviewing you for a magazine profile, and it was a bit unnerving at times, like he was a closed book to you, he always looked like this very professional facade was hiding this swirling torrent of anxiety which he would not share. I saw him a couple of weeks ago, out of the hospital at a Baháʼí thing, he did not seem particularly ill, but I understand the deal with leukaemia is that it's an infection that gets you, so he caught something last week and rapidly deteriorated. ridiculously, he was still working remotely until last week, he never seemed to take any time to enjoy his life, but spent every last drop of effort supporting his family and friends. he died this morning, I was supposed to be recording a desert island discs style thing with him later in the month and it seems so sudden.

Sorry to hear about your loss... sounds like a good guy. It is crazy how quickly things can move sometimes

Everyone deals with these things (or not) in their own way. Sorry about your friend.

spouse's father now has it and seems pretty clear at his age/upkeep 2026 is the end year. genuinely sad this man has to go out knowing a nazi admin governs.

Sorry to hear it. A close relative was diagnosed last week, and though their prognosis sounds very positive and safe, it is obviously still worrying and sad. Just makes me fear the future, thinking about it, even though there's every reason to believe they will be okay.

I’m sorry to hear this, LG. Fuck cancer!

Another friend gone, after a brutal two years with pancreatic cancer. She was a lovely person, she and her husband were big cocktail-enthusiast buddies of ours (with their own secret tiki bar in their basement). Not sure how old she was, late 40s. R.I.P. Stephanie. Fuck cancer.

(did the math, she was 46 or 47. Much much too young.)

so sorry tipsy

my condolences tipsy

yes... so sorry to hear. Should've had many more years ahead of her

I fucking hate pancreatic cancer taking out good friends. I'm very sorry tipsy.

Condolences tipsy.

sorry to hear tipsy

just a promising story today on NPR

https://www.npr.org/2026/05/12/nx-s1-5783797/pancreatic-cancer-breakthroughs-daraxonrasib-mrna

So sorry, man!