Let's talk about Vice Magazine

You want examples of why I hate Vice? This article got mentioned on some blogs a few months ago. I'm sure this magazine is very proud of its CANON SMASHING SHOCKAH, and I'm not like offended that they're dissing bands I like, I just think the writing here is really puerile and annoying. (And ooooooh, "venereal warts" -- these guys are PUSHING BOUNDARIES. WHOA.)
And I quote:

3 The Fall
Great band, right? “Mr. Pharmacist” is the jam, right? What about the other 99.9% of their songs? Have you ever heard that album they made up on the spot? The one where he goes, “I am curious orange, curious oh-rawnge”? What the fuck is that? Those guys suck. They’re one of those bands your big brother totes because nobody’s ever heard them before and they seem like some heavy shit. Like Brian Eno. Or Roxy Music. How gay are they? All these groundbreaking bands like The Residents or Throbbing Gristle or Captain Beefheart or Pere Ubu or Cabaret Voltaire are essentially nonexistent. Music critics always cite them as a huge influence but nobody’s ever heard them play a note. I wouldn’t be surprised if none of them even have any albums. I’m not going to look into it, though. I checked out Gang of Four, Love, and Frank Zappa after hearing how influential they were and all I heard was a bunch of gay weirdos going “pajama people, pajama people.” Fuck that.

just sorta had to swing into a thread gettin' as long & unwieldy as this one -- everybody sit back now and wait as Momus thinks up another postmodernism-by-numbers response

as regards to the article on jody's post: i remember we discussed on ILM Jody and it was dumb but not shocking and it's just your annoying oyunger brother talking (mine does, he believes i can't possibly like burse with wound and I'm just 'faking it' to show how 'tough' i am).

and if they keep mentioning how the fall and other bands are shit ppl might check them out.

I'm people, and I find it frustrating that their articles are so short and unfulfilling. The writers give themselves just enough space to drop the appropriate names, talk about all the coke the artist does or how poor the artist is, and maybe add one sentence about why the music is good. A glossy magazine should try harder, y'know?

Do you want your annoying younger brother to run a magazine, though? (BTW, I know plenty of people who like and actively listen to Nurse With Wound.)

same with the mag.

momus, since you seem to prop up your lame arguments with this one quite a lot, it might help to actually READ the adorno passage i assume you got it from: after the bit about how philosophers should try to be wrong he qualifies it with "but in such a way as to convict their opponents of untruth." which i've yet to see you do.

Your pal,
http://members.aol.com/dubplatestyle/mase.jpg
Ma$e.

http://media.guardian.co.uk/presspublishing/story/0,7495,804547,00.html

Gotcha. Sorry.

Nah, I think they're just picking at their own scabs, and by doing so, they make themselves look even uglier.

Fresh? How is "Well guess what, nerds? Fuck you. Fuck fucking you. We are going to tape your buns together so tight that we’ll get muscles doing it" fresh? It's tired as all hell. Who here didn't spend the first fifteen-or-so years of their lives being subjected to moronic 'quips' like that?

OK, so let's imagine there are two ways to interpret this article. The first: "As one of the cool people who used to savagely beat and torture the socially awkward members of the society I lived in, I am appalled at the foothold that they have gained in mainstream pop culture. Let us return to the days when we would savagely beat and torture the weak and disadvantaged."

If this is the author's sincere intention, then my objection to this one ought to be obvious.

The second: "Now that nerd culture is dominating pop culture, I am appalled at the fact that bullies have become the new underdogs. This article will satirize the modern cliche of the pissed-off nerd, which is oh-so-tired."

This might actually be funny and interesting if it worked, but there's one problem. Bullies will never be the underdogs, because when bullies grow up, they beat their wives, their kids, homosexuals, black people, and anyone else who get on their nerves. When stylish people appropriate nerd style, it's funny because the perpetual losers appear to be winning. It's really hard to imagine or even get a laugh out of the idea of bullies as losers, because they're not the ones who get their assholes taped shut or get black eyes every time their spouses get drunk. Maybe you can enjoy the writing regardless, but I have trouble.

Without that juxtaposition, this article (and most of the magazine, for that matter) is just a big whiny rant by a barely-literate thug. I'd be really interested to read why you enjoy it, Momus.

I actually found thart article mildly funny in a sort of Mennipean satirical way indirectly dealing with the internet bust.

well, all I can say is if you're looking for moral instruction and rectitude in a "hipster bible" then I think you're already lost. It's a magazine that tells you what brand of sneakers are cool to wear. Only Momus takes it seriously.

and the bullying thing ...If this is the author's sincere intention, then my objection to this one ought to be obvious...come on! lighten UP on the faux outrage

I'm not looking for moral instruction or rectitude ANYWHERE! I just don't like seeing a major magazine throwing around the word "faggot."