HEY JEWS

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hey quincie - i keep wanting to talk about spinoza but i'm put off by the amount i want to write and the time it'll take to do justice to it. very short version is that i love spinoza, and am really only a believer bc of a mixture of him, gnosticism (as distilled by 17th century kaballah + the altar rebbe's chassidut), and abraham joshua heschel's torah min ha'shamayim. i'm not quite as enamored with kaplan + the reconstructionist movement, tho i once attended a reconstructionist yom kippur service. just a little too flighty and not theologically (or intellectually) rigorous enough to really appeal to me (at one point they asked everyone to turn to their neighbors and bless them to have the "serenity to accept the things you cannot change, / Courage to change the things you can, / And wisdom to know the difference." blargh, And it was at that point my darlings, that marks the first place in The Service at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.

anyway, tho i would love to talk about spinoza (particularly panantheism - the idea that G-d is both the entirety of nature and above it*), the altar + esp mittler rebbe who have these wild narratives about hishtadlus (the progression + mechanics of reality) and heshel who basically gave me my get out of jail free card for belief** despite the fact that the torah is full of crazy stuff that i can't sign off on (like stoning homosexuals). but this'll have to wait until after passover when i've got a lot more time i think

* i was just noticing/reaffirming in the haggadah last night when G-d says, "me and not an angel, me and not a messenger" how important it is that spinoza advanced pantheism to panantheism so that you can have an active creator who is simultaneously filling all of creation and also above it, acting in it day to day. religion without a creator that i can actually ask to do things doesn't work for me at all.

** very short version bc i realize i can't just say that and not explain it - he says there's a heavenly torah and an earthly torah and that the second one is a translation of the first. he locates in the revelation narrative this moment where a suprahuman document is put into human words - particularly the words of desert-dwelling israelites. so we can simultaneously accept the torah as the closest thing we have to this heavenly document of perfection, while still being wary at any translation that would've made sense to the times + ethics of ancient Judea, but that seems ethically problematic to us today. it kinda gives us the space to radically change + alter things that bother us, but without harming the essential platonic form. (modifying this can also help deal with all kinds of historical evidence that traditional apologetics can't deal with - aka documentary hypothesis, etc.) this is already getting lengthy tho and i realize there's like a thousand more things i want to say about it, so this is pretty much why i didn't want to start discussing until after chag. but anyway, happy passover all! :)

Mordy, Saturday, 7 April 2012 15:17 (twelve years ago) link

overheard at my family's seder last night "google the 10 commandments, somebody."

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Saturday, 7 April 2012 15:43 (twelve years ago) link

^^^lol

Mordy, thanks for the quick hit, looking forward to more.

I managed to secure the last box of normal (well, "thin, unsalted") matzah at the local grocery last night; have managed to hold myself to two sheets so far. More to come at tonight's non-kosher restaurant seder conducted by two non-Jews.

quincie, Saturday, 7 April 2012 16:15 (twelve years ago) link

can i just say, i will never understand why people buy whole wheat matzo, or egg matzo for that reason.

there was a minor revolt last night when all the "good" matzo got eaten about 15 minutes in

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:29 (twelve years ago) link

egg matzo isn't that bad

iatee, Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:40 (twelve years ago) link

just not my thing

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:42 (twelve years ago) link

you know what's good? matzo slathered in butter. gimme some of that.

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:42 (twelve years ago) link

Looking for breakfast ideas as I don't want to eat matza bri too much. I guess I will have yogurt and fruit or:

Israeli breakfast--tomato, cucumber, and a yogurt. Not mixed, just each one eaten plain. forget where I just saw this online

http://www.culinate.com/articles/culinate8/passover_breakfast

cottage cheese

curmudgeon, Saturday, 7 April 2012 19:59 (twelve years ago) link

For breakfast today, we made this: http://www.marthastewart.com/312978/skillet-matzo-brei-with-cinnamon-apple-a

You know what's insanely good for a treat? This: http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-chocolate-caramel-matzo-47589

But damned if I'm not already tired of matzoh and all matzoh products/byproducts.

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 April 2012 20:00 (twelve years ago) link

Also, keep this in mind: http://www.distillery209.com/gin/our-kosher-cousin/

Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 7 April 2012 20:01 (twelve years ago) link

One of my two new-ish cats just moments ago took a bite of the far side of my matzoh sheet and kept on going after. I tried to find a Jewish partner on JDate and failed, yet I found a Jewish cat at Tails High Rescue Org.

quincie, Sunday, 8 April 2012 04:36 (twelve years ago) link

Epic day in the kitchen on Friday. No time for breakfast or lunch. Made haroset, matzo ball soup, brisket, kugel, and asparagus. Sister-in-law joined me in the afternoon to bake the macaroons and an orangey cake w/ berry sauce. Cleaned up, showered, set the table and drrring, the first guests showed up. Everything turned out great, but esp. the brisket.

I heartily recommend "A Children's Haggadah" for those celebrating along with little 'uns. It's really well done.

BTW "Dayenu" should have its own thread on ILM, if it doesn't already. That song rocks.

collardio gelatinous, Monday, 9 April 2012 03:01 (twelve years ago) link

I still have fond memories of my late uncle doing his speedy version of "Chad Gadya"

curmudgeon, Monday, 9 April 2012 14:12 (twelve years ago) link

today is yom hashoah

Mordy, Thursday, 19 April 2012 17:32 (twelve years ago) link

Was I supposed to have lit my Yom Hashoah candle last night?

curmudgeon, Thursday, 19 April 2012 17:50 (twelve years ago) link

you can light it now if you want. it's a custom, not a law. (my family doesn't light them.)

Mordy, Thursday, 19 April 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link

just saw a suv of smoking, laughing, hasidic teenagers whip by me.

(i see suvs full of hasids every day, but this was an especially vivid moment)

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 April 2012 20:32 (twelve years ago) link

hasidim don't really hold by yom hashoah

Mordy, Thursday, 19 April 2012 20:38 (twelve years ago) link

i only really remember observing it in hebrew school.

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 April 2012 20:39 (twelve years ago) link

I was sent a special Yom Hashoah candle in the mail.

curmudgeon, Thursday, 19 April 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

what was the last summer blockbuster based on little-known material that succeeded

Jilly Boel and the Eltones (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 19 April 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

you can strike "summer" from that entirely if you like

Jilly Boel and the Eltones (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 19 April 2012 21:11 (twelve years ago) link

wait waht

Jilly Boel and the Eltones (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 19 April 2012 21:11 (twelve years ago) link

calling yom hashoah "little-known material" is pretty cold

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 April 2012 22:07 (twelve years ago) link

xposts, yeah yom hashoah is not a religious holy day, it's a secular rememberance day

i don't believe in zimmerman (Hurting 2), Thursday, 19 April 2012 22:12 (twelve years ago) link

calm down guys - wrong thread/cross-posting

Jilly Boel and the Eltones (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 19 April 2012 22:13 (twelve years ago) link

Why is it that remembrance of so many ancient experiences of the Jews are holidays but yom hashoah is 'secular'. It reminds me of the Protestant tendency to call Paul 'Saint Paul' but then deny there are any ppl worthy of being saints since, like, the 2nd century.

L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Thursday, 19 April 2012 22:18 (twelve years ago) link

well what was the last blockbuster holiday based on little-known material that succeeded

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Thursday, 19 April 2012 22:25 (twelve years ago) link

crisis of authority since the dissolution of the Sanhedrin xp

Mordy, Thursday, 19 April 2012 23:12 (twelve years ago) link

moving on from serious to this:

Are these guys any good?

The 13th annual Washington Jewish Music Festival brings Hadag Nahash, the best-selling hip hop band in Israel, to the Fillmore Silver Spring for a live show featuring their high-energy dance mix of funk, rock, reggae and Middle Eastern beats. With six hit albums released since 2000, they've also won awards for their social activism, with political songs that rail against racism, corruption and the rising internal violence in Israel. Lead singer Sha'anan Streett pens much of Hadag Nahash's music, and the band has shared the stage with artists like the Black Eyed Peas, Matisyahu and others, as well as landing a song on the soundtrack of the Adam Sandler movie Don't Mess With the Zohan.

curmudgeon, Friday, 20 April 2012 14:31 (twelve years ago) link

yes, they are!

Mordy, Friday, 20 April 2012 14:33 (twelve years ago) link

much better than the artists they've shared the stage with, or the films they've contributed songs to

Mordy, Friday, 20 April 2012 14:33 (twelve years ago) link

Hadag Nahash are great, yes, go see them.

NoTimeBeforeTime, Friday, 20 April 2012 14:39 (twelve years ago) link

zohan is good! it's adam sandler's MUNICH.

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 20 April 2012 14:54 (twelve years ago) link

thought about posting this on the fake jews thread but anyway this book looks really cool
http://www.jewishreviewofbooks.com/publications/detail/what-a-friend-we-have-in-jesus

Mordy, Friday, 27 April 2012 22:09 (twelve years ago) link

http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F50E11FC3F5C11738DDDAE0994D1405B8885F0D3

In the Temple Israel of Harlem Dr. M. H. Harris delivered a lecture last night on "The Influence of Good Wishes." The sermon to-day will be on "The Jewish Question." This morning's topics at some of the other principal places of worship will be: Temple Beth-El. Fifth Avenue and Seventy-sixth Street, "The Larger Life and Larger Visions," (in English;) West End. "Sunshine and Shade": Atereth Israel, in East Eighty-second Street. "Individual Contributions for a Prosperous Year"; Temple Emanu-El. Fifth Avenue and Forty-fourth Street. "The New Era."

Mordy, Sunday, 29 April 2012 01:56 (twelve years ago) link

HEY JEWS I JUST JOINED THE JCC WHAT MORE DO I GOTTA DO C'MON

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 06:17 (twelve years ago) link

I mean xpost to Mordy but hey I'm gettin' real now; they had to adjust the membership camera for a 5'11 person I mean I'm sorry I'm tall but let me be one of you.

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 06:19 (twelve years ago) link

For real I should post the pick because aside from the tall I promise I could pass! I've been told so by REAL JEWS.

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 06:20 (twelve years ago) link

pick=pic, also it has been decided by some real jew friends that I can't pass not b/c of the tall but b/c my nose has not been "fixed" true story yo

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 06:21 (twelve years ago) link

Why do suburban reform/conservative jew girls take nose jobs as a thing idgi. Does this happen in orthodox communities (Mordy? Help me out here)?

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 06:23 (twelve years ago) link

Also I am on prednisone in an attempt to get my back problems in order so please ignore me I am wired. No don't b/c I really would like thought on jewish body image stuff.

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 06:25 (twelve years ago) link

nose jobs not such a big thing in ortho communities. have u read pynchon's V? big chapter on jewish nose jobs.

"Have I told you, fella
She's got the sweetest columella
And a septum that's swept 'em all on their ass;
Each casual chondrectomy
Meant only a big fat check to me
Till I sawed this osteoclastible lass

not sure how common it is in any jewish community in 2012 tbh.

Mordy, Thursday, 3 May 2012 07:51 (twelve years ago) link

Oh damn, I have not read V, but it is now on my short list.

I can reel off so many nose jobs that I figured they were a widespread cultural thing idunno. But yeah, noses are a thing at the JCC in DCMetroarea.

quincie, Thursday, 3 May 2012 08:29 (twelve years ago) link

i just realized that you might've been literally asking why jewish women would get nose jobs (i had initially read your question as more like: 'i can't believe ppl are willing to do this to themselves!'). there's a lot of racial baggage about jews and noses - particularly assertions that they are genetically predisposed to having large noses. i remember reading this in school:

All the children raise their hands. The teacher calls on Karl Scholz, a small lad in the front row. “We have talked about how to recognize the Jews.”

“Good. Say more!”

Little Karl reaches for the pointer, steps up to the board and points at the drawings.

“One can most easily tell a Jew by his nose. The Jewish nose is bent at its point. It looks like the number six. We call it the Jewish six. Many non-Jews also have bent noses. But their noses bend upwards, not downwards. Such a nose is a hook nose or an eagle nose. It is not at all like a Jewish nose.”

there's tons of anti-Semitic cartoons that prominently feature a caricature with a large hooked nose. i'm not sure how common jewish nose jobs still are, but at one point in america they were very common. i think they generally indicate someone who feels they look too Jewish and wants to pass - which is why they're afaik virtually non-existent in the orthodox community (who aren't trying to pass).

Mordy, Thursday, 3 May 2012 12:43 (twelve years ago) link

would it be unkind to say that anyone seeking a rhinoplasty to dissimulate their ethnicity in america in 2012 is a pusillanimous fool

nakhchivan, Thursday, 3 May 2012 13:30 (twelve years ago) link

unkind but fair. u should go to war with the nose you have, not the nose you wish you had

Mordy, Thursday, 3 May 2012 13:31 (twelve years ago) link

this is my favourite nose

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nose_%28Gogol%29

i don't remember it having any antisemitic elements

nakhchivan, Thursday, 3 May 2012 13:37 (twelve years ago) link

ironically the one time gogol wasn't a raving anti-semite

Mordy, Thursday, 3 May 2012 13:41 (twelve years ago) link


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