as long as we're talking dead bodies, if you're an atheist its sorta just one of those biological reactions that you just have to get over, sorta like 'can two siblings get married if they agree to have no kids'
― iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:27 (twelve years ago) link
the donner party story is pretty involved and confusing and most of what we know about it comes from (often conflicting) stories from people who were there who had their own motivations etc., there were two different groups (one who camped out waiting for rescue and another that tried to continue on to california and get help) that resorted to cannibalism, etc so i don't know if there's really 100 percent reliable info about who did what exactly
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:28 (twelve years ago) link
like the group that was trying to get to california ended up killing their indian guides and eating them but there's conflicting info on how close to death the guides were before they were killed (ie was it a mercy killing scenario or not)
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:30 (twelve years ago) link
sunburned unshaven cannibal
read this as 'sunburned buttshaven cannibal'
― preternatural concepts concerning variances in sound and texture (contenderizer), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:31 (twelve years ago) link
What I think now, in the comfort of my home, with a full belly and a nice cuppa, is probably irrelevant should this situation ever arise.
― Aimless, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:32 (twelve years ago) link
i remembered reading some book which i think was alive where the church gave them post facto dispensation to eat their pals, but that some of the dudes didn't need it because they abstained, and i always imagined the pope doing a little aside like, "this applies to everyone except timmy and jeffy, who unlike SOME people, don't fill up on snacks before getting rescued."
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:33 (twelve years ago) link
If necessary for your survival, do you think you could resort to cannibalism?
http://www.catholicvote.org/discuss/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/romney-santorum.jpg
― Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:33 (twelve years ago) link
With relish.
― Jeff, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:34 (twelve years ago) link
obviously we want to respect the dead but i think if my loved ones were trapped w/ my dead body i sure as hell would rather they live than me get a decent burial.
one thing i wonder about is if i just died one day in the house, after a few days would my dog start chomping on my nose and cheeks or would he sit with my body and starve to death
also i really wonder whether its possible for me to predict exactly what i'd do if i crash-landed in the andes or was trapped in a tiger cage or whatever
― the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:38 (twelve years ago) link
cuppa WHO
― iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:38 (twelve years ago) link
the idea that respecting the dead = preserving their dead body as long as possible is ultimately cultural and prob a good thing to trend away from
― iatee, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:39 (twelve years ago) link
I was going to say something about some people living by the credo of not doing to their loved ones in death what they wouldn't do to them in life but then I saw the massive rationalization for necrophilia lurking behind that statement and now I am just looking at my subconscious like this:
http://hellinahandbasket.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/skeptical-baby-looks-askance.jpg
― God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:44 (twelve years ago) link
I put human flesh on my rider just so I have a little every night in case I do at some point find myself having to subsist on it
― same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:46 (twelve years ago) link
I am imagining you with a huge Dagwood-sized placenta sandwich, chomping away merrily backstage while the apocalypse rains down
― God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:48 (twelve years ago) link
"...can you push stage time back 10 minutes and get me some bromo? that placenta reuben's really rearing up on me"
― same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:50 (twelve years ago) link
how much does a lb of flesh go for these days anyway?
― the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 17:53 (twelve years ago) link
oz of prevention iirc
― same old song and placenta (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link
xpost Would it be bad after three days? You hang game for longer. I think you've cut and prepared and hung that juicy human flesh in a cool, dry place, you're OK. If, on the other hand, you've got a whole corpse and you're in the rainforest then it might be unappetising fairly quickly. But if you were in the rainforest you might be able to find something else. Cannibalism as a necessity seems to arrive in icy circumstances, where there is no opportunity to forage for anything else, and where the meat must keep pretty well. I think your cooking options might be limited, so a carpaccio or a tartare might be the best way to serve it.
― Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:57 (twelve years ago) link
Sorry: that should be "I think IF you've cut and prepared …"
if you starve in a rainforest I kinda think you must be a little stupid
― Disco Bob & MC Criminal (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 6 April 2012 17:58 (twelve years ago) link
Just in case anyone finds themselves stranded in a rainforest over the weekend, here's quick guide to finding food.
― Viva Brother Beyond (ithappens), Friday, 6 April 2012 18:02 (twelve years ago) link
God, "a quick guide". I keep missing words today.
I dont value being alive enough to eat ppl
― Lamp, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:04 (twelve years ago) link
you say that now
― the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:06 (twelve years ago) link
i'm pretty sure the industrialized food chain has made cannibals of us all in very fractional ways.there's some food guidelines for insect parts allowed in veggies/fruits, but there should also be guidelines for allowable human body parts.
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link
It's not the fact of being alive that would make you eat people, it's the fact of starving to death. You don't just disappear in a puff of smoke, you die a long, lingering, painful death.
― emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link
dont we all?
― Lamp, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:11 (twelve years ago) link
Poll needs a 3rd "Stephen King's Survivor Type" option - would you eat your own body parts if you had a big enough pile of cocaine to get you through the butchering :D
but I think, honestly, my answer would be yes. If I was hungry enough I'd kill and eat all of you. I just wouldn't eat your placenta.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 18:12 (twelve years ago) link
[spoiler] they taste just like lady fingers! [/spoiler]
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link
more curious about the people who think they just absolutely couldn't do it, even if it was someone who was already dead. seems like an underestimation of what truly facing death by starvation would be like. but i'm pretty sure there were people in the donner party who refused to partake and died of starvation.
the real hitch in this scenario is refusing to eat people means you are essentially volunteering to be eaten after you die. so your moral stance is just you turning into a cartoon cooked turkey in everyone else's eyes.
― rob, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:14 (twelve years ago) link
nah lamp, some people get hit in the back of the head w/ a sharpened coconut while they're not looking and cooked over an improvised campfire
― the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:15 (twelve years ago) link
neither slow nor painful
I am p sure I could eat someone who is already dead. Obv can't say what I would do, but I have to believe that I wouldn't kill someone who wasn't already dead.
Tried to think about whether I could eat my cats in a is,lar situation but got too sad and had to stop thinking about it.
The real question thoughts whether you would cut off and eat your own extremities to survive. Xp!!!!
― carl agatha, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:18 (twelve years ago) link
u dont know what happens before that coconut
― Lamp, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:18 (twelve years ago) link
Is,lar = similar
― carl agatha, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:19 (twelve years ago) link
what if the situation was if you were offered human meat by a culture that deems it extremely rude not to eat it, would you eat it? like REALLY rude, it would really hurt their feelings.
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:20 (twelve years ago) link
Starvation is definitely slow. An average westerner could survive at least a month, if not more, on water alone. As for pain, not so much, if you only consider the starvation in itself. However, you would grow very weak and could easily succumb at the end by being pecked to death by crows, or something similarly gruesome.
― Aimless, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:21 (twelve years ago) link
sure, why not
― Spleen of Hearts (kingfish), Friday, 6 April 2012 18:23 (twelve years ago) link
I'm pretty good at carving up a chicken into parts. Butchering a human seems daunting but I think I could manage.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 6 April 2012 18:24 (twelve years ago) link
"The Savage Mouth" by Komatsu is a horrific tale that describes the insane side of a man who is overly intellectual and who tries to know his unexplicable self by eating his body.
^^ highly recommended to all fans of clive barker, etc
― the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:24 (twelve years ago) link
i just think in certain contexts, we're all capable and to some extent do eat human-derived product, so the trick to eating human meat in a survival situation is to alter the context enough so that it's comfortable.
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 18:30 (twelve years ago) link
I would eat people before eating my cats, definitely.
― emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:00 (twelve years ago) link
(And I don't even have a cat at the moment, just on principle)
― emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:01 (twelve years ago) link
what's the cutest animal you guys would eat? rabbits, pigs, lambs?
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:08 (twelve years ago) link
Yes, yes, and yes
― Jeff, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:08 (twelve years ago) link
zooey deschanel? butters from south park?
― Philip Nunez, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:12 (twelve years ago) link
I don't think it's about the cuteness, really. More the companionship. Though cats are incredibly cute.
― emil.y, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:13 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.google.com/search?q=cutest%2Banimal&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&safe=active&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&ei=hkB_T9OLG6egiALh1LDeCA&biw=1178&bih=723&sei=iEB_T66HPIatiALDusDBAw
which of these animals would you NOT eat
― God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 19:14 (twelve years ago) link
personally, this one gets my vote:
http://www.animal-forum.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/spiderc.jpg
― God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Friday, 6 April 2012 19:15 (twelve years ago) link
i believe some so-called "cute animals" actually routinely engage in cannibalism
http://www.thatcutesite.com/uploads/2009/09/puppy_nose_bite.jpg
― the late great, Friday, 6 April 2012 19:37 (twelve years ago) link
if you were a brony nobody would eat you because you would be all brony
― dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:42 (twelve years ago) link
save derpy, eat a brony
― one dis leads to another (ian), Monday, 30 April 2012 21:45 (twelve years ago) link
I think the answer to your question, ZS, turns on whether we're eating people who die naturally (in which case you'd get et) or killing people to eat them (in which case I would).
― Polly biscuit face (carl agatha), Monday, 30 April 2012 21:45 (twelve years ago) link
my haunches look srsly delicious, i've decided.
― diafiyhm (darraghmac), Monday, 30 April 2012 22:14 (twelve years ago) link
rip darraghmac he was eaten for his delicious haunches
― dayo, Monday, 30 April 2012 22:17 (twelve years ago) link
fingernails and bone marrow is still vegan right?
― Philip Nunez, Monday, 30 April 2012 22:21 (twelve years ago) link
Yes, without question. I might not even wait till I was hungry.
― we are not bemused (onimo), Monday, 30 April 2012 22:27 (twelve years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:01 (twelve years ago) link
American settlers 'turned cannibal'
― Bees Against Racism (Tom D.), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 17:51 (eleven years ago) link
laura ingalls wild er
― j., Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:11 (eleven years ago) link
Crazy thing is that they prob didn't need to eat human flesh. America's coastline was a bonanza of naturally available foods: ocean and freshwater fish, shellfish, game and gamebirds, but also scavengable stuff like mushrooms, berries, kelp. The colonists were highly suspicious of such foods and shockingly ignorant of most survival skills.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:23 (eleven years ago) link
NO THEY HAD TO
― j., Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:26 (eleven years ago) link
yr all a bunch of savages smdh at these poll results
― four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:31 (eleven years ago) link
Was reading about mass cannibalism during the Bolshevik grain requisition Povolzhye famine in '21. The more morally defensible cannibals rationalised eating the dead to survive, but fucking cannibal cafeterias run by human hunters, profiteering during a famine is too much to take. I'd guess similar grotesqueness occurred during Mao's great leap forward as well.
The stealing of corpses from cemeteries became so common that in many regions armed guards had to be posted on their gates. Hunting and killing people for their flesh was also a common phenomenon. In the town of Pugachev it was dangerous for children to go out after dark since there were known to be bands of cannibals and traders who killed them to eat or sell their tender flesh. In the Novouzensk region there were bands of children who killed adults for their meat...Moreover, the craving for human flesh which starving people can easily develop once they have eaten it was not peculiar to any social class. Hungry doctors often succumbed to eating it after long spells of relief work in the famine region, and they too stated that the worst part of the experience was "the insuperable and uncomfortable craving" which they had acquired for human flesh.
Moreover, the craving for human flesh which starving people can easily develop once they have eaten it was not peculiar to any social class. Hungry doctors often succumbed to eating it after long spells of relief work in the famine region, and they too stated that the worst part of the experience was "the insuperable and uncomfortable craving" which they had acquired for human flesh.
― festival of labour (xelab), Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:08 (nine years ago) link
Well, once you've killed and eaten a human being, seeing all those people just walking around has to be maddening, like those old cartoons where the starving man on the raft floating mid-ocean imagines the guy on the raft with him's head turning into a roast turkey or whatever...
― Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:11 (nine years ago) link
I love that old cartoon sight gag, it is brutal and funny at the same time.
― festival of labour (xelab), Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:33 (nine years ago) link
I like the South Park episode where all the adults get snowed in and they resort to cannibalism _that night_
― Stephen King's Threaderstarter (kingfish), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:36 (nine years ago) link
that is a great ep
― do u like green ez & jam (darraghmac), Sunday, 29 June 2014 22:38 (nine years ago) link
During an 1874 election fight in Tranmere, a 'local cannibal' allegedly attacked a canvasser with no provocation - he 'chawed' him and bit off part of his lip. A newspaper report concluded that 'cannibalism cannot be tolerated, even in Tranmere': pic.twitter.com/ftaNIXB8Jv— Victorian Election Violence UK (@VictorianEV_UK) April 15, 2020
'cannibalism cannot be tolerated, even in Tranmere'
classic bantz
― calzino, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 10:48 (four years ago) link
If I can eat ass, I can eat calf
― Greta Van Show Feets BB (milo z), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 11:00 (four years ago) link
what if it’s not necessary for your survival and you just fancy sampling a bit of long pigasking for a friend, like
― He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 11:38 (four years ago) link
I think eating members of Longpigs is quite permissible tbf
― calzino, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 11:56 (four years ago) link
brb gonna start a ‘which longpig would u eat’ poll
― He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:13 (four years ago) link
lol these poll results are v revealing
― crüt, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:51 (four years ago) link
At least five ILXors are liars.
― coviderunt omnes (pomenitul), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:52 (four years ago) link
Poll is eight years old, those five have probably been gobbled up by now.
― Hey, let me drunkenly animate yr boats in about 25 to 60 days! (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 15 April 2020 12:53 (four years ago) link