local businesses with horribly formed "names"

for ages there was a wonderfully creepy and disheveled wig store in downtown seattle called WIGLAND (which, the internet tells me, is a fairly common name for wig stores). closed tragically a while back. i always figured it had to be a front anyway.

je t'aime le Hair Extensions & Beauty

so i was trying to find out where funkadeli is located, it turns out that i lived mere blocks away for years and was totally unaware of its existence which is kind of sad but thats not the point of the story, the point of the story is apparently ilx has a physical location and it is in lower manhattan

http://i.imgur.com/N9LnU.png

can't stop laughing at this

http://i.imgur.com/CGEcv.png

0 stars "Tumblr whites" - w whinegarten

dangit, lagoon, was abt to post a screecap of that review

"weingarten" spelling brings up "rolling regional thug thread 2012"

below the review is this line: "Reviews from around the web: ilxor.com (964)"

weird

it links as indicated

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj242/donaldparsley/ILXstreetview.png

street view. we are a red mango with a fex ex truck parked in front of it.

awfully small space for so many of us

some of us are in the truck (shhh, it's a secret)

assume there's some inside joke here i'm missing

I just assumed JW or someone like that marked ILX on the map for lulz... if someone can even do such a thing?

had a phone number at one point, since deleted but still present in "edit history"

haven't called

God, there's this one street in Toronto where at least one in 10 shops has a terrible name. These are all shops that appear on a single one block stretch:

Your Clothes Friend
The Merchant of Tennis
The Sleuth on Baker St.
Write Impressions
Passion Fruits
Savory Thymes
Peaches and Green
The Elegant Garage Sale
and an Indian restaurant named Kamasutra

'The Merchant of Tennis' is awesome fuiud. Assuming they do actually sel tennis gear...

There's a town called Olney near Milton Keynes - every shop there is like
"the OLNEY record shop"
"the OLNEY indian restaurant"
"the OLNEY cafe"

well done whoever it was that put ilx on the map (LITERALLY)

there is a restaurant here called "eleven forty nine" named after its own street address which is bad enough

but then they opened a second location in a different town and called it "eleven forty nine east" so its name makes no sense whatsoever

― i think this is serious (elmo argonaut), Monday, April 2, 2012 8:22 PM

For restaurants named for their street address, hard to top this one:

http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/wp-gallery/1006/69/IMG_4856.jpg

http://s3-media2.ak.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/vkckicPPCx9tn__PN7f86Q/l.jpg

If you're looking for a good eat, how about 69? That was the name of a restaurant on Bayard St. in NYC's Chinatown when I was last there. Actually is very highly reputed amongst locals - great food, low prices, open 24 hours, and shall we say, a unique ambiance. It's customary for patrons to write a note on a dollar bill and stick it onto the wall, and by now nearly the entirety of the walls and ceilings are covered with $1 notes (as can be seen here through the windows).

I see looking online that they've updated their name and signage recently; it's now called 69 Bayard. That should help spur business, since now anyone looking for 69 will know just where to find it:

http://lululuber.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/69-bayard-front-close.jpg

Then there's this local plumber:

http://pictures-e1.thumbtackstatic.com/pictures/178/ad0d45xgwwck3ldt_450_fill.jpg

John Flood. Ya know, there couldn't possibly be a worse name for a plumber than John Flood.... i mean, just Flood would be bad enough, but John Flood?!? .... Although I'm sure Mr. Flood is a very nice man, and probably a good plumber too.

And likewise for this tire store:

http://pics3.city-data.com/businesses/p/7/8/1/8/4487818.JPG

Kinda hard to see in the picture, but that's FLATT Tire Center in Des Moines.

Like every other city, there's every pun off of "Thai" possible for our local restaurants. This is probably the best:

http://media1.hellowashingtondc.com/media/articles/large/6926_image2_large.jpg

I read when they opened that "Thai Me Up" was considered, but there were already about five restaurants with that name (but only Pittsburgh's has the best slogan: "You're bound to like it!")

oooh, that slogan is good

Arbroath, not for the faint hearted:
http://lds.localdataimages.com/large/1242/12426008.jpgp

Also, there is/was a guy who runs a tiling business in Stirling trading as the Bonnie Tiler. His van claims that he offers a "total eclipse of your hearth".

My last electrician's name was Watt.

Ach bugger:
http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3206/2875213705_6ed653fe10_m.jpg

Also, there is/was a guy who runs a tiling business in Stirling trading as the Bonnie Tiler. His van claims that he offers a "total eclipse of your hearth".

― calumerio, Wednesday, April 4, 2012 11:25 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

At least he didn't go with "Holding Grout For A Hero"

lolling so hard at "Carpet Disco"

There's a sandwich shop in Worthing called Big Baps, not sure I want to gis that at work though.

Carpet Disco is fantastic

http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/sharon-stone-van-coed-magazine.jpg

Go Potty, a local port-a-john company. I'm sure there a numerous groan-inducing poop-play portable toilet co's around.

Carpet Disco is killing me

idgi

its a law i think that every portopotty/septic tank company is required to have a punny names or slogan

Forgot all about this one in NOLA

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1022/549271681_c0d2d544a5_z.jpg

lol Stevie there's nothing to really 'get' --- it's just a store that sells carpet that added Disco to their name.
could there be anything further from a disco than a carpet showroom?

hiny hiders (toilet partitions and latches)

'disco' might be an abbrev for 'discontinued' or maybe 'discounted' but i prefer to think it is a floor-to-ceiling deep-pile party lounge

Short Circuit Electrics

"Let Us Remove Your Shorts"

There's a sushi place in Reno called Kokopelli Sushi, because nothing invokes fresh fish like the southwestern American desert.

And the tea place called Bird Pick (a chain?), because I want *my* tea leaves to be walked on and pecked by birds.

^ Blink 182 remix album title

xp

sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

need to visit and/or walk past this before it gets shut down I guess

lool

my favorite back in my and Lisa Germano's hometown http://www.tootntellem.com/

can't decide if this is horribly or wonderfully formed

http://yesss.at/

jaaa

the asian-fusion-cuisine restaurant 'fuAsian' did not last long. mercifully.

i've seen so many of these lately but I forget to write them down #coolstorybro