Blue Saturday

ha, I have pissed against that wall. sorry :-)

but if next time I'm passing I hear Basket Of Light, I'll surely tip my hat in that direction.

oh i'm further down no worries

the last couple of weeks i've become obsessed with the sadness of not being 20, unhealthily sad about it i think. because of wanting the romance that's possible when you're young, but feels insurmountably difficult when you're 40-something.

i'm kind of amused by the subtle refinements my brain seems to find to re-express its horror at mortality. and there's just the faintest tinge of pleasure to this overwhelming sadness, something to do with at least touching the shadow of what i can't have. but still this isn't great, to be this sad every day.

dunno what i'm saying, i just had to try and read that in black and white.

Maybe you're growing up, again? Things that changed direction at a certain point in life have to go back to that fork in the road and take the other path. You see the familiar surroundings, differently now, but you'll pass them in some kind of order, I imagine, and end up somewhere new eventually.

That's probably indefensibly twee. Sorry.

no i've pondered the same thing myself. like i've rewound to the point before my last relationship began. i'm feeling indefensibly twee about 80 percent of the time right now *bitter lol*

i dunno. i pontificate a lot about change but i ain't changing very much.

I've been hanging out with earth mothers, I can't help myself. Give yourself some credit and some space for the journey that you're on, is all I'm saying.

:) thanks

You have rewound! Because in relationships each person cedes things to the other one, each one becomes the keeper of certain kinds of things, memories, tasks, ways of being. You're remaking yourself, you know. It's not a small thing.

There's probably a rebirth story in there somewhere but now I'm just making up a mystery religion based on a walk in the woods.

i'm just hungover enough to be too fuzzy-headed to concentrate on anything, and just sad enough to not know what to do with myself, feel lumpen and old and ugly and pondering the mysteries of how do you meet people and how do you make life move forward without going to a pub because the only person i meet in the pub is drunky noodle and his shambling amnesiac decline, and now to take the piss "Endlos...Endlos" is ringing out of the speakers...and it's a sunny day and i can do whatever the hell i want and the world is outside and i am stuck, stuck

Europa Endlos
Wirklichkeit und Postkarten Bilder
Europa Endlos
Eleganz und Dekadenz

end. loss. hahahaha ffs

A man that builds a prettie house in sweete and holsome ayre,
With goodly rowms and choise of place, and windows large and fayre,
Shall heer his neighbour streight disprayes the seate and eek the fraem;
Yet hee that praets wants wealth and wit, and cannot mende the seam.

At the High Crosse, in a disguised manner, stood FAEM, very orderly set forth, and spoke as followeth, by an excellent boy:

tendency to follow rabbit holes further and further down for want of anything better to do but at bottom not so much wonderland as earthworms and rabbit shit

lookit now

There's plenty lumpen and ugly (and getting there, oldwise) of us that do ok. And we do it without being brilliant- an advantage you have, afaic. Sure, maybe not as cranky, tbf, but i mean cranky works for lots of ppl ito friends/lovers. Not saying 'gtf out there' or w/e but i might be hinting at 'don't be an ass'

it's a sheer question of practicalities rather than moxie, i fear

moxie, afaict, seems to be an ability to ignore the odds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0ZBaZoBCaA

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/431577_10150795255683696_566688695_.jpg

i don't even

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/420323_10150795381993696_566688695_.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCq8jx49nDU

fucking love this so hard

was gonna post brenda lee's im sorry and then evan lurie's track on the trees lounge soundtrack but you know

this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCG26OvcMP4

seriously this is prob nowhere near the best ron trent record but the piano at 3:41

i enjoyed that

such a religious hangover today, the world so vivid and tactile around me as i secede from it. booming around work evidently still hammered and surfing on warm "one of us" tolerance tho i'm fully aware i need to start topping the booze tank up asap because when this wears off and i sink into properly hungover it's gonna hurt hurt hurt...i am gonna sail like Bas Jan Ader until you and you and you can't see me but krishna it's so beuatifullll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-cJm7-M7Bc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYSVJ7zOabQ

Friday night = David McCallum in The Invisible Man and a Pink Panther candy bar and the comfort of nothing and it's all a million years ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEVrRHXxxL4&feature=related

bang bang bang

feel like i'm gon' bowk if i touch alcohol today.

off to touch alcohol.

i suppose the real world is okay but i'd much rather go and sleep in the sea today

Xeristar, y'are y'are y'are

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HcLLi6MXKg

i mean we are ape-y and not much imbued with magic or wonder

― Elmer Fuiud (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 19 February 2011 11:22 (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've got nothing to do today but smile

http://www.swldxer.co.uk/staks.jpg

Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can’t I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive the brute off?

Six days of the week it soils
With its sickening poison -
Just for paying a few bills!
That’s out of proportion.

Lots of folk live on their wits:
Lecturers, lispers,
Losers, loblolly-men, louts-
They don’t end as paupers;

Lots of folk live up lanes
With fires in a bucket,
Eat windfalls and tinned sardines-
They seem to like it.

Their nippers have got bare feet,
Their unspeakable wives
Are skinny as whippets - and yet
No one actually _starves_.

Ah, were I courageous enough
To shout, Stuff your pension!
But I know, all too well, that’s the stuff
That dreams are made on:

For something sufficiently toad-like
Squats in me, too;
Its hunkers are heavy as hard luck,
And cold as snow,

And will never allow me to blarney
My way of getting
The fame and the girl and the money
All at one sitting.

I don’t say, one bodies the other
One’s spiritual truth;
But I do say it’s hard to lose either,
When you have both.

chilled in blazing sun with pensioners and loblolly-men yesterday. will wrngle my liver thru same again today goodbye goodbye goofbye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfQMqbRrDJs

tonight we die in hull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRPk9QWhWQc

can still feel my grandmother's bedroom, the light and the dust and the smell of oil of ulay and the window over the road and the books and the seventies

Cyders

http://bighugelabs.com/onblack.php?id=5493122269&size=large&bg=white

http://www.flickr.com/photos/49469560@N07/5504445249/lightbox/

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3101/3168427036_4fd8a3346f_o.jpg

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13296226@N02/3948985466/lightbox/

sweet pix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3vfCRb_9ho

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oospWucgxac

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl4pJwcE7JI