ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

ummmmm wut? have I woken in an alternate universe? how embarrassing for Serena, almost as embarrassing as Fed's loss. How did this even happen? And after serving so well vs. Stosur!

5 and 0 over Roddick for The Principality is more than I could have dreamed of though. Thanks Juan! Ending the revival before it began.

When was the last time Serena had three consecutive losses in major events to opponents who should not have been threats to her? Wimbledon doesn't count because her comeback had just started, but then she played GOAT tennis throughout the USO series. Losing to Stosur, Makarova and Wozniacki in Slams/Miami is just bizarre.

don't lex :(

i'm so depressed :(

BRING ME BACK TO 2009 BECAUSE I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS

didn't realise anyone out there missed Safina's reign at No 1

hahaha

also, Serena's "I was only playing at 20% of my level" comment? I'm sure she's reusing that. Her excuses are only at 20% as well these days ;_;

i miss serena's USO + AO + W reign :( :( :( :(

tennis sucks so much

holy shit I hope you all were watching that, it was fucking gorgeous

:D :D :D

MARION <3

CAKE beat Kirilenko 1 and 2. Every Kirilenko match should go like that. I like to think Marion was as offended by Kirilenko's recent success as me.

Same can be said about the Azarenka streak.

This:

http://static.wix.com/media/f36b007a20a06a847f1ac7856919738e.wix_mp

My heart right now

CAKE :D

I am unsurprised by these results, you know Cake is impervious to aura and wouldn't fold.

Somewhat surprised to discover that Cake has never beaten A-Rad. The winner really needs to come from the top half though, and I really don't trust Aga to beat Ma$ha in the final...

:D at Maria BSing her way to another final. And no Azarenka this time!

And unless I'm mistaken, Radwanska still has no losses this year other than to Azarenka!

Thank you Maria for saving us from the match-up with undoubtedly the worst matches of all time: Woz/Rad

^^^ that. The Rad/Woz match from the YEC made me throw up so much.

Nonetheless, I will totally be reverting to my recently-abandoned Radwanska stan-hood if she wins this.

Federer must be so fucking embarrassed losing to Roddick now the finalist he would have faced is Murray not Nadal. Still, losing to Roddick should be punishable by more than just embarrassment. Wonder if he could get #2 back anyway.

BEST
RESULT
EVER

I have been given joy and life by Maria's pissed-off face, she absolutely cannot bear losing to Aga! Isn't she back in Siberia yet?

LOL WTF

thank god i missed that

maria in finals... so embarrassing

aga winning the 1st set with one winner. LOL PATHETIC PLAYER. MARIA LOL EVEN MORE PATHETIC PLAYER.

LOVE YOU A-RAD LET'S NEVER FIGHT AGAIN.

Quite honestly this is a better result than I could have hoped for.

good lord what a point

lol @ how much Murray stuffed up that game. from 40-0 up iirc?

I also forgot that Murray beat Djokovic in the Miami final 3 years ago.

Heh, every game going to multiple deuces and Murray losing them all.

lol @ how much Murray stuffed up that game. from 40-0 up iirc?

^yup -__-

aaaagh I cannot take this shitty stream that constantly freezes but I can still hear the point getting better and better. why is technology so shit?

Live streaming sites seem to be getting worse all the time, 'tis true.

Points are getting longer but not sure they're getting better exactly - practically every one seems to end on another Murray forehand into the net.

I have turned it off b/c I can't fucking see anything anyway. Going to see the new Werner Herzog film instead. Might stab a couple of live stream site owners on the way.

Sounds like I didn't miss much anyway.

Djokovic may still be winning but he is definitely nowhere near the level he was playing at this time last year, and sooner or later players are going to realise he's beatable. I say the NOLESLAM doesn't happen.

Venus d. Jankovic.

FUCK YES. Soon, she comes for the actual elite.

We need to talk about what amazing shade Sloane Stephens throws.

http://www.10sworld.com/tennis/blog/sloane-stephens-healthy-happy-and-nineteen

“I’m friends with Jamie (Hampton), Christina (McHale), and Melanie (Oudin) - well, we don’t see Melanie as much anymore,” she said, trailing off.

...

Stephens, on the other hand, only had positive things to say about the current torchbearer of the WTA, number one Victoria Azarenka. ““I love Vika. You could tell me she sucks toes - I wouldn’t care,” she laughed. “She’s been nice to me since I met her for the first time. She and my mom are always chatting it up. People are always telling me they hate her - I don’t know why.”

jankovic needs to retire asap before she fucks up her h2h vs the williamses completely.

that is the least shady shade I've ever seen

What does a Djokalo look like?
http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/8664/djokolo.jpg

I'm ready for the Serena/Venus Charleston SF. Haven't played on clay since RG final 02 IIRC??? :o

lisicki injury time-out

music playing: ASHLEE SIMPSON - NOTHING NEW

never did i think i'd see the day where an ashlee album track would be played at a tennis tournament. so much life

serena and ashlee simpson at the same time, captured on my tv. this is too much for me to take right now tbqh

hahaha now THAT is shade

you realise i was serious right -_-

OMG AT THAT FIRST SET. SERENA YES YES YES THOSE BACKHANDS

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THAT is the serena i love. such clean hitting. absolutely unbeatable.

you realise i was serious right -_-

You realize I was talking about the music they played when Lisicki got hurt

Serena was so good against Stosur, who just looked totally hapless.

Though not as hapless as Hercog's doing right now. This is embarrassing for her. Oddly enough Hercog's game reminds me of a destitute man's Stosur - obviously based on a big serve and running around her big FH but everything's so awkward and disjointed and her BH is laughable. Even brainless Lucie knows to aim 90% of her shots there.

You realize I was talking about the music they played when Lisicki got hurt

oh lol

yes

Today's ticketholders must be on top of the world right now.

i would have been :D getting to see one of the best performances of the last few years :D

"I have to say this is probably the best match I've played in my career, either in a long time or it's up there in the top five," Williams said.

wowzas.

Hercog, based on my observations of her, has a very specific game plan against lefties like Lucie. That is to hit to the forehand constantly. Saw it when she was playing Makarova earlier this year and it was such a spectacular failure. Can imagine the match was just like that. Not that I mind, because I <3 Lucie.

ATTENTION

Yulia Putintseva and her antics will be streamed for the first time later today. Against JANKOVIC, appropriately enough. CAN'T FUCKING WAIT hope she's as insane as she's made out to be. I have waited for her to make it on to the tour for YEARS

http://cowbell.typepad.com/forty_deuce/2010/01/robbie-watch-2010-shes-so-annoying.html

The diminutive but confrontational 15 year-old Russian has developed quite a reputation for herself in a short space of time and her penchant for intimidating umpires by persistent arguing and attempting to influence the calls of line judges have become notorious.

“She is a pit-bull, pure and simple,” said Peter McNamara, the former Australian doubles champion who now figures amongst the elite coaching team at the Mouratoglou Academy just outside Paris. “She will fight and scrap and do anything. The only person I’ve seen argue and try and intimidate umpires more consistently is John McEnroe.

i <3 her already

she's totally gonna double bagel jankovic

OH MY GOD WHAT HAS DOLGOPOLOV DONE TO HIS HAIR

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V4owa4Z89Q4/T2vGgcaSroI/AAAAAAAAOYI/VwAEemVtEYQ/s1600/AD-Miami-1.jpg

http://l.yimg.com/j/assets/p/sp/getty/5b/fullj.716c1a1fbbf94a616c69eeb2b0858675/716c1a1fbbf94a616c69eeb2b0858675-getty-141722239.jpg

I CAN NOT

apparently the skin on his face hates it so much it's attempting to melt itself off his skull in protest