Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

Hahaha I wish I had the balls to do that.

I hate when people drop by at 8:00 AM just because they happened to see me arrive early! We have a semi-flexible schedule - we can use the office as long as the building is open (7 AM-7 PM). Official hours are 9-5, though. I hate when people drop by at 8:00 AM just because they saw me arrive at work early!

HOW DARE THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU?! or does "drop by" mean something horrible?

I don't mean "talk" to me, I mean dropping by on official business.

isn't that..... why you're at work?

Um, no...I don't work a public service position so I'm not obligated to be available to people at all times. I'm an executive assistant. 8 AM interruptions aren't kosher where I work, in fact they are technically verboten according to the employees manual.

So tell 'em to come back at 8!

sorry, i guess i don't understand the byways of how your job works

Boss: Is this spelled right? (word is "alleging")
Me: Yes.
B: Are you sure? That doesn't look right.
Me: No, it's correct. There are two Ls.
B (sort of to himself): I before E except after C
Me (thinking he's being funny): ...and sometimes Y.
B: Are you sure there isn't an E after the g?
Me: What?
B: Shouldn't it be a-l-l-e-g-e-i-n-g?
Me: No.
B: Are you sure?
Me: Drop the E, add -ing.
B: Well, okay. Are you sure?
Me: *submits resignation*

so i'm leaving in a week and my desk is a bombsite. I've been told i'm expected to clear it, but some of these files have had little baby files and formed complex hierarchical societies in the nether reaches, they've been there so long. My replacement arrives monday, i'm to train her too. And, while i've been told that i can turn the phone off and ignore email, other day-to-day stuff keeps landing whenever i do manage to clear an inch of pine laminate.

I'm not even getting annoyed, friday evening's gonna come around whether the desk is a plateau or a peak, but i'm a little .....'really?......' whenever it's mentioned at this stage.

Hah! I remember those annoyances well when I left my last job. My boss worked from home one day, came in the next with five pages of notes for me to type. She had her goddamned LAPTOP with her at home! Why even write on paper? I had 4 days left and was maybe 10% done training my replacement. So I called in sick the next day :P

Is there a word for that noise people when they capture flobber in their mouth just before spitting it out? He does that constantly. Without the spitting obv. That wouldn't be appropriate in an office.

Also - microwaving cheap ass chicken thighs and barbecue sauce every day for the last three weeks NAGL. Have some variation in your diet ffs. And don't eat it at your desk if it smells like an abattoir on a sunny day. Urgh. I'm supposed to be mentoring this guy and he's just making me hate him.

carl agatha, i went through something similar where my supervisor refused to believe that i was correctly informed. our web content management system is pretty rigid and doesn't support pinning things to the top of our webpage -- you have to do it by manipulating the dates of the posts, and even though i told him multiple times we couldn't do it any other way than manipulating the dates, he told me to check with my colleague. i checked with her & she said we can't do it. so i emailed him to let him know, and then at a meeting about something else, he asks both of us again! And we again both say no. And then after we were talking about something else, he said AGAIN, well, didn't we do it for this one thing?

we were both like "no!!"

he's also asked me a million times to make sure google analytics captures everything and that we continue to capture data. we have analytics on the site now! please stop asking me after every thing that we post, 'so analytics will capture this, right?" (even though i have already told him that it will capture data from now until the end of time, or at least until we disable it.)

B (sort of to himself): I before E except after C

LOL?

my boss wanted me to fix his daughters macbook air for her.

she has over 1200 apps synced to it :O

Is there a word for that noise people when they capture flobber in their mouth just before spitting it out? He does that constantly. Without the spitting obv. That wouldn't be appropriate in an office.

― kraudive, Thursday, March 22, 2012 5:48 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The hawk in the band name hawkwind was supposed to come from Nik Turner's habit of doing that very thing. Not sure if it's a common term for it but it is very onomatopaeic. The wind bit was cos he farted a lot apparently.

i think you just ruined hawkwind for me? bummer.

"hork" i thought was the term.

IME loogies are "hawked"

I associate "hork" w/ puke-related sounds.

nah I always spelt snotty boggery things as horks, too.

Tho I guess ive seen it used for puke as well ("WHO SMELLS LIKE FREAKIN PORPOISE HORK!?")

boggery? BOOGERY.

O_o porpoise hork o_O

Hock for loogies, hork for puke.

Closing up the business last night when two men arrived at 9pm, "oh didn't anyone tell you, we're here to clean the floor, it will probably take an hour, maybe two" - no choice but to stay.

Is porpoise puke a thing? That you've actually smelled?

As I do at least once a week, I am explaining to one of the partners how to "do that thing [I] do where you look at files without opening a program" (i.e., how to use Windows Explorer), how to Select All, and how to Cut and how to Paste.

Hehehe. Coworker was off yesterday, got engaged, got a manicure before she came back to work today so that she could show it off properly!

My manager (God love her): "I'm in a Kate Hudson movie. Pls kill me."

gonna kill the dude who keeps sniffling every 10 seconds

blow your nose, fucker

sniffing every 10 - or blowing/honking every 60. you're in a no win.

i'm ok with every 60, plus each nose blow may be subtly different, unlike the sniffling

his sneeze is so twee

My coworker is a twee sneezer so I say, "Bless you, kitten!" which probably means she posting about how stupid and annoying I am on another message board somewhere.

omg. if i was a twee-sneezer, i'd kill you! (than again i'm not a girl)

OMG I hate people who sniff SO MUCH. I srsly want to scream STOP THAT at them, it riles me so badly.

Certain repetitive noises in general set me off for some weird reason -like, my boss sits right behind me and often eats at her desk, so the other day she was having what I guess was a yogurt, and she scraped repeatedly at the little tub with her spoon, over and over and over even after it sounded well and truly empty, so all I could hear was this hollow plasticky clok clok clok sound and I was *literally clenching my fists with rage* trying not to let it get to me.

...it was a very odd reaction.

Today I am the stupid, annoying co-worker: unable to get my PC to unfreeze, i killed it at the power switch on the wall, not realising that the PC of my co-worker across the room was plugged into a powerboard coming from the same socket--destroyed 30 mins of her work. in my defence all the cables are hidden under desks, but even so, she would be right to post about me here

Trayce! I am the same way! Repetitive sniffing, coughing, tapping, scratching. Makes me crazy.

The clever spods who decide where everyone sits have decided to put the technical team (lots of analysts looking at spreadsheets and concentrating) next to the debt team (lots of chatty people arguing with customers about paying their bills). It is the worst seating arrangement in history and I think everyone is getting cheesed off with it. Stop saying "ourselves" and start saying "us" you grammatical ignoramus!

btw JM if it's a PC you should be able to turn it off even if it's frozen by holding in the power button for 5-10 seconds or so

(and if it's one of the shitty Dells we have at work you will then need to press the power button like 3 times to get it to turn back on properly instead of just going "whrrr" on the fan and then turning off again, but it gets there...)

Trayce and carl, I have the same thing. I am so glad there is nobody in the seat right behind me any more because the last-but-one guy was a chronic sniffer and then there was a guy who mumbled to himself all day interspersed with making horrible squelching noises w/ a pen lid he would permanently have in his mouth and I just COULD NOT filter either of them out, urgh.

By 11am some days I felt so on edge I was on the verge of punching someone or bursting into tears just from this tiny little repeated noise, and I know it's ridiculous, and I know I almost certainly do things which my coworkers find annoying and/or disgusting too, and if I could rewire my brain not to be bothered by these things I totally would but I can't. Ho hum.

Not annoying so much as curious: floor in disabled cubicle covered in talcum powder with bare footprint next to the door, as though someone had stripped off, covered themselves in talc, and run arms flailing out into the corridor.

ahhhhhhh space cadet my other thing is MOUTH NOISES so someone squelching a pen around in his mouth would send me around the bend. Gah.

The clever spods who decide where everyone sits have decided to put the technical team (lots of analysts looking at spreadsheets and concentrating) next to the debt team (lots of chatty people arguing with customers about paying their bills). It is the worst seating arrangement in history and I think everyone is getting cheesed off with it. Stop saying "ourselves" and start saying "us" you grammatical ignoramus!

― give me back my 200 dollars (NotEnough), Wednesday, April 18, 2012 6:26 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In my last tech writing job, they put us tech writers (grumpy, pedantic, quiet loners) in the midst of the Q&A team (gregarious folks who needed to yell to each other from their cubicles all day) and it was similarly unsuccessful.

Space cadet, I used to have that problem, with repetitive machine noises. Like "could you photocopy 100 pages some place else"? But I'd feel bad about that. I don't know what to tell you, but I switched to a job where I could go outside if I needed to. You'd be surprised what 10-15 minutes outside will do for your nerves!

Or I'd find something that required visiting another office...seeing faces you haven't seen in a while helps, a new environment, etc.

You haven't experienced noise rage until you've had someone taping up cardboard boxes behind you all day. the screaming noise of the packing tape as they pull it... repeated at *just* long enough intervals that you spend a few seconds anticipating each one totally on edge... I genuinely have an eye twitch from that

ugh that tape-pulling-off-of-cardboard noise is my personal fingernails on a chalkboard noise

I was just at Staples where I saw "silent" packing tape.

I was moving out of a living space I shared with a terrible boyfriend and while he was trying to do something that necessitated quiet I revenge packed by putting everything in boxes and then moving the boxes into the living room where he was and THEN taping them all up slowly. So fucking satisfying.

Also he owed me lots of money so at least four boxes contained his vinyl collection that I was forcibly taking as debt repayment.

nice!

You haven't experienced noise rage until you've had someone taping up cardboard boxes behind you all day. the screaming noise of the packing tape as they pull it... repeated at *just* long enough intervals that you spend a few seconds anticipating each one totally on edge... I genuinely have an eye twitch from that

i almost posted something very similar to this. the interior designer in an adjacent cubicle spent all day yesterday boxing up carpet samples to ship and i had to deal with that noise allllll day.

so we got a new printer. it is fucking massive (longer than an SUV) is loud as a jet engine when printing and is the most epic white noise machine i have ever encountered when it's not.
oh - and it's about 18 feet away from me. i would, in a second, trade any of you people with your tape noises and spoon scrapping and sniffing to get away from the satanic printing engine located directly behind me. i feel like i'm working on a factory floor or airport hanger all day now and it's killing me.