Battleship...the movie

Go in peace and love to serve the lord, motherfucker

So that's what a quip is these days

the movie's ... zany sense of humor

Alex tries to win her over by getting her a burrito in five minutes. Unfortunately, the convenience store next door is closed, so Alex decides to break in and get her the burrito anyway. We switch to security cam footage - complete with Pink Panther theme - to see Alex breaking into the store, getting the burrito, and subsequently wrecking most of the merchandise in his attempt to get back out. The scene ends in complete chaos, with Alex running away from - and getting tasered by — the cops, a sequence that causes multiple cars to crash into each other to avoid hitting him. But hey — he gets Brooklyn Decker the burrito, and a true love is born.

Fuck OFF!

"From Hasbro the company that brought you Transformers"

so this sounds like starship troopers done sincerely

the aliens are called "thugs"

Huzzah

http://io9.com/5899767/first-clip-from-battleship-shows-off-the-aliens-board-game+inspired-firepower

"B-27!"

this would have been so awesome if it had the exact same cast but was set at a Battleship tournament

battleship the board game involved chain whips? p kinky

haha wow i hadn't heard of this till now, this is easily the most half-baked idea for a movie i've ever heard in my life

it will make back the 200 million opening weekend probably

I can't see this being anything other than a total flop, but I've been wrong many times before.

yeah I think there's little likelihood of a John Carter-esque 'you won't believe this but it's actually really fucking great' turnaround.

But then again...Tim Riggins DOES star in this also

> there is a burned doll

how'd it get burned

lol

so in all the film has nothing whatsoever to do with the board game? What is the point in paying the money, I'm assuming there was a licence cost, for the rights to use the board game name?

just to have the name attached to the movie, I think is what Hasbro wanted

i don't think there was ever much intention to make a movie OF the boardgame - more to reassociate the boardgame with something whizzbang cool so they can remarket it or something idk

they should have gone the Tron route. Some kid gets 'sucked' into a real life Batteships board game and has to play the Grid.

Or like 20 people in a giant Battleship costume

That would be some shit-head indie comedy though.

Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman present Tweetleship

baahaha

Father and son play battleship, then son gets pulled into a Time Bandits-esque midget alternate universe.

Ned I'm still giggling over tweetleship

How about, (and this comes from currently watching Deathrace - although I'm remembering the original movie rather than this prison variation), in the future people play real Battleships with real ships out in the ocean. Pimped up aircraft carriers and submarines! Televised annual event. etc etc

battleships transform into giant robots and do battle in the middle of the ocean

when i first saw the trailer, thats what i thought was happening for a moment.

I hoped, but alas, twere not to be

http://images.wikia.com/transformers/images/e/e6/Micron_Shockwave_toy.jpg

y are u not in the movie, battleshipformers

http://io9.com/5907006/8-battleship-clips-unmask-the-alien-invaders-and-they-all-have-goatees/gallery/1

Also the "Mahalo motherfucker" line is here.

Now they should license the rights to make a board game of "Battleship: The Motion Picture" that has nothing to do with "Battleship." Like one of those myriad Monopoly versions or something.

Battleshit

Battleshart vs Giant Octopus

http://www.tmz.com/2012/04/27/universal-american-battleship-lawsuit/#.T6BFzMRYuMd

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Yr-Y8IeWymo

looool

Universal Studios claims its new big budget movie "Battleship" is in jeopardy -- all thanks to a low budget straight-to-DVD knockoff that's coming out

This is what the business world calls "managing expectations."

this piece of shit was in jeopardy when they were doing reshoots for like 2 years

hey guys this movie looks really bad!

I don't have much use for this generally cretinous blogger, but he's upset.

I could call it stunningly idiotic alien-invader CG sludge for gamers but what's the point? What it is, boiled down, is yet another metaphor for the decline of civilization as it was once known and nourished by the likes of Norman Mailer, Anne Bancroft, Ernst Lubitsch, Jean Seberg, Gunter Grass, Bernardo Bertolucci, Jean Genet, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, William S. Burroughs, Francis Coppola, Sting, Gary Cooper and Jerry Lewis, et. al. Damn the ComicCon-ers for movies like this. Damn them all to hell.

If Battleship is a state-of-the-art 2012 Hollywood popcorn movie then kill me now. Stab me in the chest with a screwdriver.

http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2012/05/alien_flotsam.php

Chuckled at "Sting."

He meant Sting in Dune.

I'll gladly stab him in the chest with a screwdriver. Nothing to do with hating on Battleship, mind.

get in line

I can feel the spittle spray from here

Battleship is obviously a popcorn movie, made in hollywood, released in 2012, with state-of-the-art effects. Dude really wants to get stabbed.

He was hoping for a Das Boot sequel, y'see.

would you rather see 2 das 2 booteous or das boot: tokyo drift?

I heard The Das Boot Rises is the darkest one of all.

Das Booty Call

i dunno if i'm even pronouncing it right but jurgen prochnow is a very satisfying name to say on any occasion.
rafe finnes who i always confuse with liam neeson is a very unsatisfying name to say.

so yes, dude is justified in preferring live free or das boot to battleship

this was a quality comment:

I dabble in languages and translated Jeff's comments into German then ran them back through Google translate.

Interestingly, they came back as "Who if I cried about BATTLESHIP would hear me among the angelic orders, for BATTLESHIP is only the beginning of a terror I can barely endure."