Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

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read that as "if you live in outer space and eat a lot of vegetables"

↖MODERNIST↗ hangups (thomp), Friday, 16 March 2012 11:54 (fourteen years ago)

I swear that guy is actually saying "keep pluckin' that chicken" and erryone just wants to wilfully mishear it.

I read that his comment was a reference to a joke about tenderizing chicken by fucking it. I think in the joke the chicken is alive?

Which explains the other thing he says, "it takes a tough man to make a tender forecast."

free societies must let drunken gay Texans have sex (Je55e), Friday, 16 March 2012 13:40 (fourteen years ago)

if there's heat on it then you risk getting cancer-causing chemicals in your food

if no heat no problem

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 14:21 (fourteen years ago)

whoops

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 14:22 (fourteen years ago)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rtEfGneubno/TSZo9abFbPI/AAAAAAAAABY/ZkLv-FFXN4w/s1600/GaryLarson_2001.jpg

Race Against Rockism (Myonga Vön Bontee), Friday, 16 March 2012 14:42 (fourteen years ago)

the other big problem is WHERE ARE THE ELEMENTS ON THAT STOVE

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:10 (fourteen years ago)

^ shld not be overlooked

Nicholas Pokémon (silby), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:14 (fourteen years ago)

There is something deeply, psychically disturbing about that

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:21 (fourteen years ago)

ya its kind of like 'seeing behind the curtain' for a second

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:23 (fourteen years ago)

I am supposing "very cheap landlord has decided that one element is sufficient for the tenants"

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 16 March 2012 15:28 (fourteen years ago)

it's like a face with no mouth

the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:42 (fourteen years ago)

I am supposing "very cheap landlord has decided that one element is sufficient for the tenants"

But then you'd have to buy some weird, custom stove top without holes for the heating elements, offsetting the cost savings of swindling your tenants out of their rightful allotment of cooking surfaces.

carl agatha, Friday, 16 March 2012 15:46 (fourteen years ago)

I'm wondering if we should think of cooking as an essential skill in life

flagp∞st (dayo), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:49 (fourteen years ago)

idk if ILX has more to say on this or if we've all vented enough itt

flagp∞st (dayo), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:49 (fourteen years ago)

- i like the steamer baskets that have the fixed base and the 'skirt' bit that opens up or closes around the veges.

- double boiler type steamer also work really well, but they're usually for a larger amount of veggies, not great for 'steamed veg for one'.

- you can steam veg in the microwave. Like, carrots for example: put them in a microwave safe bowl, with a tablespoon of water. Cover with cling wrap or w/e. cook on high for 4 min (you may need to add another minute or two depending on your microwave.)
Let it sit for 1 min, and voila.
You can do the same with green beans, but you only cook them for 2 min.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:50 (fourteen years ago)

Tracer you don't have to have a lid to cook it but it will cook faster that way and it will cook faster if the colander is inside the pot than perched atop it. There's really no reason why you can't simmer the veg in water, either at low boil. The thing to try for is not to overcook the broccoli/green beans. Mostly these days I'd just use my wok.

L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:50 (fourteen years ago)

it's like a face with no mouth

― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, March 16, 2012 11:42 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Steam

butvi wouls (Phil D.), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:51 (fourteen years ago)

I'm wondering if we should think of cooking as an essential skill in life

Not necessarily. That would be eating.

L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:51 (fourteen years ago)

i recommend endorse helen chen's asian steamer

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 15:55 (fourteen years ago)

joyce chen has a good one too

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 15:56 (fourteen years ago)

that sounds like a sexual position xp

butvi wouls (Phil D.), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:57 (fourteen years ago)

I've never really gotten down with bamboo steamers. I think that makes me a bad person..

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:57 (fourteen years ago)

i like the double boiler type steamers because they're so fricking easy. the little collapsible jobbies are cool from a design perspective i guess but they seem to hold like two small pieces of broccoli and that's it. when i steam stuff i like do do enough for like two days of veggies.

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:57 (fourteen years ago)

xpost LOL phil

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:58 (fourteen years ago)

yeah Tracer I def find the collapsibles better for 'steamed veg for one' or a small amount of steamed veg for 2 people. double boiler is the best for large amount of veg, it's a good workhorse.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:59 (fourteen years ago)

I've never really gotten down with bamboo steamers.

Also good for dim sum!

L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 16 March 2012 15:59 (fourteen years ago)

I've got a silicon gadget thing that goes inside your saucepan so you can steam things through it. Like the colander but purpose designed and therefore safe.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:00 (fourteen years ago)

"i was going to drive to my friend's house and crashed my car into a tree and sat there in the wreckage, but i didn't seem to ever arrive at my friend's house. CONFUSING"

still lol'ing at this

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:04 (fourteen years ago)

you can steam veg in the microwave. Like, carrots for example: put them in a microwave safe bowl, with a tablespoon of water. Cover with cling wrap or w/e. cook on high for 4 min (you may need to add another minute or two depending on your microwave.)

You can also steam some veg in the microwave - asparagus is particularly suited to this - by wrapping the trimmed asparagus in a wet paper towel and microwaving it for 2 to 4 minutes, depending on your preference/microwave.

carl agatha, Friday, 16 March 2012 16:11 (fourteen years ago)

once I roasted my asparagus I could not for the life of me understand why I had ever steamed it

the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:15 (fourteen years ago)

xpost I've never tried that. Nice!

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:16 (fourteen years ago)

you know the only vegetable i steam is red chard

i feel like steaming tends to kill the flavor, color and nutritional value of foods

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 16:27 (fourteen years ago)

only if you steam them for too long!

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:29 (fourteen years ago)

I can't think of anything worse, texture-wise, than steamed chard.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:30 (fourteen years ago)

I'll steam veggies sometimes before putting them in something else (curries mostly) but never really just eat steamed veggies by themselves. a bit boring.

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:30 (fourteen years ago)

chard requires smothering

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:30 (fourteen years ago)

and some kind of animal fat

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:30 (fourteen years ago)

yeah to me chard needs some braising, or blanching at the very least pre-sauteeing to get the metallic taste out of the leaves.

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:31 (fourteen years ago)

when i steam chard it turns out like gently wilted spinach leaves

i actually "braise it in reverse", meaning i steam it first and then add the oil, as opposed to cooking in oil and then adding liquid to steam

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 16:32 (fourteen years ago)

also that "metallic taste" is the antioxidants! you *want* that metallic taste (or at least i do)

the late great, Friday, 16 March 2012 16:33 (fourteen years ago)

that doesn't sound right

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:34 (fourteen years ago)

chards taste metallic

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:45 (fourteen years ago)

I actually sometimes pre-steam for a few minutes and then sautee

the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:53 (fourteen years ago)

I do the opposite. I wilt or soften whatever veg in my wok and then I add some stock to finish it. It doesn't require much oil, if any, 'cause the wok retains enough from being used so much and so often.

L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Friday, 16 March 2012 16:55 (fourteen years ago)

I used to always blanch chard and then sautee, and lately I've just been lightly sauteeing it and then adding stock and covering it for a few minutes, it seems to remove the metallic tast/antioxidants/whatever

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 17:04 (fourteen years ago)

yeah my steez is: 1) blanch, 2) sautee, covered, over low heat with a little oil/bacon fat/whatever. delish.

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 16 March 2012 17:06 (fourteen years ago)

like Hurting, for stuff like sweet potatoes i steam the pieces first, then sautee

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 16 March 2012 17:06 (fourteen years ago)

Craving Thanksgiving dinner right now.

free societies must let drunken gay Texans have sex (Je55e), Friday, 16 March 2012 17:08 (fourteen years ago)

hmm. steam sweet potato then sautee? I will try that. I have yet to find a way to cook sweet potatoes that I like.

anyway it looks like we've turned this into I Love Cooking, lol

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 16 March 2012 17:08 (fourteen years ago)


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