Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

I hada pesto chicken sandwich today, thanks to this thread.

yum

I swear that guy is actually saying "keep pluckin' that chicken" and erryone just wants to wilfully mishear it.

i dunno, trayce. the slow-it-down part of the tube makes it seem pretty clear that he said "fffffffuuucckkiinnn", but maybe they doctored it or something...

'okay whatever' is what this thread is notably fucking lacking.

is there anything technically wrong with this? any way i could make it better?

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/183/415409461_68654b7a14.jpg?v=0

i don't get what's wrong with this? i've done it myself. with broccoli, not beans

probably wdn't do your plastic colander much good, and you might get a bit of leaching of plasticy chemicals? with a metal one it wd be a perfectly acceptable steaming method i think

you need a LID to TRAP THE STEAM. like a large pot lid. hot steam is what cooks the food. otherwise the steam just goes UP. it cooks the food a little bit as it goes up but not very much. with a lid, all the steam stays around the food. it happens very fast. with green beans you maybe need to steam them for like 5 minutes.

the other BIG PROBLEM is that something plastic on the stove = potential for burnt, melted plastic.

you need to use something METAL. if you don't have a metal colander or sieve, or even an ACTUAL STEAMER, you could use aluminum foil with holes punched in it.

oh i don't really know what the colanders i've used were made out of

the last time i tried to steam broccoli the pots all seemed too big for the colanders and none of the lids fit so i had to rest a too-small lid on top of the broccoli and then the colander slipped off and fell into the hot water halfway through and i had no idea what to do. that's when i ended up gnawing on semi-raw florets because i sat there waiting for like half an hour but they didn't get any softer

never again

"i was going to drive to my friend's house and crashed my car into a tree and sat there in the wreckage, but i didn't seem to ever arrive at my friend's house. CONFUSING"

You know if you dont have a decent steamer there's also nowt wrong with just popping the greens into the pot itself with a bit of water and salt, and simmering them for 5 mins. Right?

isn't that what you do with frozen veg?

yep! or steam them. both work.

Sure! But its ok to do it with fresh veg too! They take a lil longer to cook, tho. Frozen veg are slightly pre cooked :)

Lex you make me go all mumsy and wanna show you how to cook simple things, bless yer.

Getting a steamer with a timer for £20 might be worthwhile if you have the counter space and eat a lot of vegetables.

read that as "if you live in outer space and eat a lot of vegetables"

I swear that guy is actually saying "keep pluckin' that chicken" and erryone just wants to wilfully mishear it.

I read that his comment was a reference to a joke about tenderizing chicken by fucking it. I think in the joke the chicken is alive?

Which explains the other thing he says, "it takes a tough man to make a tender forecast."

if there's heat on it then you risk getting cancer-causing chemicals in your food

if no heat no problem

whoops

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_rtEfGneubno/TSZo9abFbPI/AAAAAAAAABY/ZkLv-FFXN4w/s1600/GaryLarson_2001.jpg

the other big problem is WHERE ARE THE ELEMENTS ON THAT STOVE

^ shld not be overlooked

There is something deeply, psychically disturbing about that

ya its kind of like 'seeing behind the curtain' for a second

I am supposing "very cheap landlord has decided that one element is sufficient for the tenants"

it's like a face with no mouth

I am supposing "very cheap landlord has decided that one element is sufficient for the tenants"

But then you'd have to buy some weird, custom stove top without holes for the heating elements, offsetting the cost savings of swindling your tenants out of their rightful allotment of cooking surfaces.

I'm wondering if we should think of cooking as an essential skill in life

idk if ILX has more to say on this or if we've all vented enough itt

- i like the steamer baskets that have the fixed base and the 'skirt' bit that opens up or closes around the veges.

- double boiler type steamer also work really well, but they're usually for a larger amount of veggies, not great for 'steamed veg for one'.

- you can steam veg in the microwave. Like, carrots for example: put them in a microwave safe bowl, with a tablespoon of water. Cover with cling wrap or w/e. cook on high for 4 min (you may need to add another minute or two depending on your microwave.)
Let it sit for 1 min, and voila.
You can do the same with green beans, but you only cook them for 2 min.

Tracer you don't have to have a lid to cook it but it will cook faster that way and it will cook faster if the colander is inside the pot than perched atop it. There's really no reason why you can't simmer the veg in water, either at low boil. The thing to try for is not to overcook the broccoli/green beans. Mostly these days I'd just use my wok.

it's like a face with no mouth

― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Friday, March 16, 2012 11:42 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Steam

I'm wondering if we should think of cooking as an essential skill in life

Not necessarily. That would be eating.

i recommend endorse helen chen's asian steamer

joyce chen has a good one too

that sounds like a sexual position xp

I've never really gotten down with bamboo steamers. I think that makes me a bad person..

i like the double boiler type steamers because they're so fricking easy. the little collapsible jobbies are cool from a design perspective i guess but they seem to hold like two small pieces of broccoli and that's it. when i steam stuff i like do do enough for like two days of veggies.

xpost LOL phil

yeah Tracer I def find the collapsibles better for 'steamed veg for one' or a small amount of steamed veg for 2 people. double boiler is the best for large amount of veg, it's a good workhorse.

I've never really gotten down with bamboo steamers.

Also good for dim sum!

I've got a silicon gadget thing that goes inside your saucepan so you can steam things through it. Like the colander but purpose designed and therefore safe.

"i was going to drive to my friend's house and crashed my car into a tree and sat there in the wreckage, but i didn't seem to ever arrive at my friend's house. CONFUSING"

still lol'ing at this

you can steam veg in the microwave. Like, carrots for example: put them in a microwave safe bowl, with a tablespoon of water. Cover with cling wrap or w/e. cook on high for 4 min (you may need to add another minute or two depending on your microwave.)

You can also steam some veg in the microwave - asparagus is particularly suited to this - by wrapping the trimmed asparagus in a wet paper towel and microwaving it for 2 to 4 minutes, depending on your preference/microwave.

once I roasted my asparagus I could not for the life of me understand why I had ever steamed it

xpost I've never tried that. Nice!

you know the only vegetable i steam is red chard

i feel like steaming tends to kill the flavor, color and nutritional value of foods

only if you steam them for too long!