Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

Yeah, some of you are acting like Lex is refusing to breathe.

― Eric H., Wednesday, March 14, 2012 11:06 AM (14 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm not actually upset. it's one thing to claim that you don't like to cook and don't really care about eating what you can eat w/o cooking. it's another thing to claim that you are physically or mentally incapable of cooking. i accept that you are not anthony bourdain, i do not accept that you are actually incapable of e.g. making a sandwich.

it's like saying "oh, playing the piano is so amazing, all you have to do is practice!" "writing an essay is so easy, all you have to do is type the words!"

some people just don't have the knack and are never gonna have it. stick to what you can do or enjoy doing, why stress yourself out with the rest?

"oh, playing the piano is so amazing, all you have to do is practice!"

it's true! some people don't want to practice though. it's about interest, not skill or some mysterious knack.

i accept that there are tons of simple things i just don't want to do or spend my time/energy learning. like gardening. but i am not physically or mentally incapable of gardening.

if i HAD to play the piano, i would do some piano practice at home instead of going out to play piano all the time

frogbs i have kids, so economizing is important to me, so that's a helpful motivation. i guess i also have a kind of morality about not wasting food. and i feel stupid when i waste money. but "neat and organized".... is not how anyone would really describe my life. it's maybe because of that that the kitchen is like one place where a TINY TINY bit of planning drastically improves my day and makes me feel good about myself.

yes, I have that morality too, but it obviously depends on your cooking style. if you're buying 12-15 things to make a stir-fry it's not exactly easy to plan out how you're going to use everything else, try as we might

whatever anyway some lady wrote an article about olive garden

also here's a simple recipe for beer bread yum: http://www.farmgirlfare.com/2005/11/beyond-easy-beer-bread.html

look obviously i can make a sandwich or make pasta but i regularly fuck up basic things like TOAST and BOILED EGGS and even my beloved CHEESE ON CRACKERS that i do regularly. stuff above that, you're justr asking for total disaster, plus i am going to hate every minute.

i'm ok at cooking but i don't enjoy it really, only if there are other people involved. cooking alone is a p miserable process.

if i HAD to play the piano, i would do some piano practice at home instead of going out to play piano all the time

well my point is i don't HAVE to cook

if i HAD to play the piano, i would do some piano practice at home instead of going out to play piano all the time

― 3hunn O))) (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 12:10 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

stick to what you can do or enjoy doing, why stress yourself out with the rest?

Because that's a really bopring approach. How does anyone ever learn anything or the world improve?

Cooking alone is, tbf, pretty rubbish.

cooking along can be kind of sucky, but if you have the right music on and the right drink you can feel like clive owen or some shit

When Em was away for a fortnight recently I cooked about 1/3 as much as usual.

yeah cooking w/ other folks is fun. actually cooking FOR other folks (even if they don't pitch in) is fun. cooking by yourself for yourself can be fun, but it is distinctly less fun than the other options.

cooking along can be kind of sucky, but if you have the right music on and the right drink you can feel like clive owen or some shit

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 12:13 PM (49 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

me every night yo 8)

well... maybe not every night... but many nights!

cooking alone is a p miserable process.

Cooking alone is, tbf, pretty rubbish.

cooking by yourself for yourself can be fun, but it is distinctly less fun than the other options.

SO IT TURNS OUT YOU ALL AGREE WITH ME AFTER ALL

yes, when the missus isn't home I usually just make a BLT or something, which is not really cooking (total cost = $4. in case you were wondering)

i mean...that is why i don't cook! because it's not remotely fun!

Cooking alone is great, you weirdos

i love cooking by myself! with friends and lovers its even better.

do you people not masturbate??

one dollar for each slice of bread, one dollar for a few leaves of lettuce, 25 cents each for two slices of bacon, 25 cents for a slice of tomato

I cook at least four times a week for and by myself!

frankly baffled by the continuing references to masturbation in this thread.

mayo is extra

- max's slogan

i mean...that is why i don't cook! because it's not remotely fun!

― lex pretend, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 11:15 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i thought it was because YOU ARE RECEIVING DISABILITY CHECKS FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE PASTA SAUCE

It is engaging and empowering to make yourself something uniquely calibrated to your own tastes.

how do you mess up cheese and crackers....?

one dollar for each slice of bread, one dollar for a few leaves of lettuce, 25 cents each for two slices of bacon, 25 cents for a slice of tomato

+ $2.50 for an avocado

can we go back to discussing Marilyn Haggerty

I did make an awesome moussaka the first day Em was away.

I mean, all you have to do is slice some cheese and put it on a cracker, there's no actual cooking involved

how do you mess up cheese and crackers....?

structurally unsound crackers are the bane of my life

you should make your own crackers!

(kidding.)

Yeah I don't get it frogbs are you charging the entire cost of each ingredient to each meal? Cuz that's some fucked up accounting.

trying to cut a piece of cheese can be hard. you end up with slices that are way too thin and some that are very thick. and some that are thick at the top, but are only half size. in the end, not a single piece will be satisfying.

tragic cheese-n-crackers mishap

haha okay that is not "messing up cheese and crackers", that is "an unavoidable side-effect of constantly eating cheese and crackers"

How strong and inept are your hands, geez

*buys loaf of bread, tomato, package of bacon, head of lettuce*
*makes blt*
*forgets remaining 90% of ingredients in fridge for three weeks*

Now all I can picture w/r/t poor lex is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjvQRerJu0g

*sneaks into hurting 2's house and makes a bunch of blts, confident he will never miss them*

xp yeah I'm pretty sure thats the way most people ITT are picturing me

the ineptness of my hands is the central issue here for me. they are very very very inept

Spray cheese reminds me of doggy diarrhea , but maybe that is yr solution

lex are you Edward Scisshorhands?