shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

At length, I asked my server what she would recommend.

oh to be a fly on the wall

xpost: I don't get it?

I like that either definition (after a long pause / over a long period of time) suggests he is possibly an asshole / savouring the plum assignment of his career, the one he'll tell the grandkids about.

xpost I think it's the in depth and lingering discussion of a generic chain restaurant, but then I am not an American.

oh, I didn't know what Olive Garden was - didn't seem to get that vibe from the site either, but ok :-)

EAT STREET / THE KING OF THE EAT

aahhh EAT BEAT, mangled it never mind

I often enjoy reading effusive community newspaper prose on banal topics, but that's an especially fine example.

http://www.grandforksherald.com/media/story/jpg/2010/09/09/marilynhagerty.jpg

I love the image of Grand Forksians "long awaiting" the Olive Garden.

"On a hot summer day, I will try the raspberry lemonade that was recommended."

Please report back!

This article is beyond description.

"I was given a selection of food items to choose from. I indicated my preferences to the server, and some time later, those selections were brought to the table for me to eat!"

MARILYN HAGERTY: Dippin’ Dots, Crazy Bread await fans at UND hockey games

http://www.grandforksherald.com/media/story/jpg/2010/09/09/marilynhagerty.jpg Crazy Bread, Super Pretzels, Dippin’ Dots, cotton candy, bratwursts and beer. Popcorn, prime rib sandwiches, freshly roasted almonds.

Drinking water with her meal = why she's lived to be such an active 85-year-old.

oh shit max just tweeted this

it's all happening

I saw this tweeted last night. Max, get on the ball.

Grandfawker

someone from grand forks tweets at me:

@max_read she's such a trooper - the week after her cancer diagnosis she reviewed Altru Hospital's room service #eatbeat

Is it OK to still think this is funny then?

yeah

its a gentle, loving mockery

That is actually amazing.

guys guys guys... what if she's actually trolling us w this article?

I think she is.

http://www.accessmylibrary.com/article-1G1-165736373/grand-forks-herald-n.html

"The big soft shell at first glance reminded me of lefse"

and yes — several black olives

Gawker is on it. Not via max but anyway:

http://gawker.com/5891587/grand-forks-olive-garden-receives-positive-review

i can't even

Only time will tell if the still-too-new OG will rise to the top of the list: http://www.urbanspoon.com/lb/152/best-restaurants-Grand-Forks

SHE SPEAKS!

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/2012/03/olive_garden_review_marilyn_hegarty.php

Your Olive Garden review has been getting a lot of attention on the Internet.

Yeah, I don't get it.

Hero.

I may sound a little on the defensive to you today because of the emails I've received. One was kind of snotty. But the other four or five were kind of friendly. But my daughter tells me I should go on Facebook and read all this crap. And I do not have time to let myself be bothered or read all that stuff. I have a Sunday column I'm doing now about a completely different subject. I don't have time to sit here and twit over whether some self-styled food expert likes, or does not like, my column. The publisher likes it.

I don't care whether they are or not. If anyone's got time to sit out there and nitpick, I kind of feel sorry for them. Get a life.

glad the internet could get its shit together on a thursday to laugh and point at an old lady for doing her job

She told everyone where to get the fuck off, and provided perfect context for it all as well. Any laughing I was doing earlier is rightly erased because she just pwned the world.

Yo Whiney it didn't make it into the VV piece linked above but she also a hella Community fan.

Hahahah

under 16,000 views on gawker
about 150 likes on the gawker article on facebook
she's received six e-mails

i thought the internet was bigger than this

I like marilyn hagerty

She seems like a cool lady

Small towns do their own thing, I'm down with Marilyn.

Also, tbf I had to write stuff that I myself would probably make fun of when I worked at a community newspaper.

I haven't checked lately because I'm in the middle of writing a Sunday column, and I hit the wrong key, and it flew away, and so I had to start all over again.

classic

under 16,000 views on gawker
about 150 likes on the gawker article on facebook
she's received six e-mails

i thought the internet was bigger than this

― da croupier, Thursday, March 8, 2012 2:04 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark

well i mean, think about how many times you've clicked on a 'funny link,' or shared it w/ people you know, and out of all those times how often you've decided to personally e-mail the person the funny story is by/about

who the hell sends an email just to say 'pathetic'?

can you imagine what the internet will be capable of when we're all her age?

its terrifying.

I was just thinking of what's going to take the place of Olive Garden by then.

cyber olive garden 2 point infinity