'John Carter,' aka the Edgar Rice Burroughs 'A Princess of Mars' adaptation

;_;

basic instinct 2 had some merit

Will John Carters of Earth see John Carter?

Lotta dead John Carters huh.

John Carter of Iowa
John Carter of North Dakota

tim riggins is a charisma supernova fyi

otm

calling actors by their TV names is annoying, esp when he's got a great name like Kitsch

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Tim Riggins will be the highpoint of his career

Okay thank you for clearing that up, I was wondering who this Tim Riggins guy was when everyone seemed to be talking about Kitsch...

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Tim Riggins will be the highpoint of his career

idk he wore a swimsuit p well in 'the covenant' but probably

it's less depressing to call him Tim Riggins, that way I can pretend Battleship and X Men never happened

Anyway, looks like I will be seeing this thing tomorrow with some friends who are Edgar Rice Burroughs fiends and have been hoping like hell it succeeds. So...we'll see.

Keen to find out your thoughts, Ned. fyi you're gonna be my weathervane on this thing

"It was all about Woola's buttface! Oh yeah some dude in a loincloth."

and then there was this crazy pod race in the middle...

"Use your light saber John...oh my!"

looool

Rich Juzwiak ‏ @RichJuz: My favorite thing about John Carter is that its first line is "Mars!" (in voice over).

:D

i want to see this badly because i love the "planetary romance" genre (SPACE: 1889!) and the guardian review gives me some much-needed hope for the film

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/ba/Adventures_of_buckaroo_banzai.jpg

i am also vajazzled for this, though i refuse to specifically endorse "planetary romance" on the grounds that it sounds suspiciously like something that twirly moustache steampunk ppl would fancy.

buckaroo bonzai now and forever

Not this review?

http://m.guardian.co.uk/ms/p/gnm/op/s0NXmqAl4Z9LR-DQO91AOkg/view.m?id=15&gid=film/2012/mar/08/john-carter-review&cat=most-read

block that metaphor:

I felt as if someone had dragged me into the kitchen of my local Greggs, and was baking my head into the centre of a colossal cube of white bread.

^ a feeling i think we all know well

wtf

reviewer took too many mushrooms in prep

reviewer baked his head in too many ovens

when metaphors fail

i am also vajazzled for this, though i refuse to specifically endorse "planetary romance" on the grounds that it sounds suspiciously like something that twirly moustache steampunk ppl would fancy.

Aw c'mon man! Leigh Brackett! C.L. Moore! JACK FUCKING VANCE! It's a genre with pedigree.

no ledge, this one that ned posted upthread: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2012/mar/01/john-carter-week-geek?CMP=twt_fd

the "planetary romance" genre is basically like the originary text for steampunk!

http://sleech.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/space1889.jpg

grew up on this nonsense

http://tcrf.net/images/f/f3/Martian_Dreams_-_Title.png

I guess what it comes down to is that my very favorite shit (Jack Vance, James P Blaylock) happens to be foundational for steampunk, yet I abhor steampunk.

So it was pretty ridiculous and entertaining! Yeah, go see it.

There's a huge feeling of "Wow, I can't believe they got away with spending that much money on this" but however formulaic it was always going to be, it wasn't dull. And yeah, Riggins or Kitsch or whatever you want to call him did pretty good and yes is mostly stripped down to not much throughout.

It's also the kind of film where I missed some dialogue here and there and thought "Ah, it won't matter." And it didn't, and I expected as much, so.

TIM RIGGINS OF MARS

yay

Thanks for the report Ned! Glad to hear it was fun.

Fun is important. I feel better about seeing this

There's one scene that is pure pulp one-dude-vs-the-alien-horde and gotta say that was pretty amazingly done. Frazetta come to life, that.

from Boxoffice:

John Carter is off to an underwhelming start. The sci-fi flick grabbed only $9.818 million on Friday. If family audiences decide to show up, then Carter could manage a better multiplier this weekend and possibly pass the $30 million mark. Either way, there's no way this debut will be seen as anything but a disappointment. Carter will have very little time to rebound considering that The Hunger Games hits on March 23. A 73% approval rating from around 15,600 Flixster users indicates that word-of-mouth is mixed.

http://www.boxoffice.com/statistics/bo_numbers/early_estimate/2012-03-10

"Industry Hacks Poison Well Before Release, Then Bemoan Poor Box Office."

Even with a shitty marketing strategy, I mean, come on.

My local (NYC) megaplex is showing it in only one of its, like, 14 theatres and that's with just 3 showings per day. I think the "Heaven's Gate"-ish advanced fusillade has mortally wounded this one. FWIW, I'm gonna try and catch this on the big screen at one of those screenings tomorrow.

this was surprisingly breezy for a 2+ hour flick! i enjoyed it for what it was. manages to be pretty light in tone without being campy. worth seeing if you like this sort of thing.

i think I am a person who likes this sort of thing. Buoyed by positive ilxor reviews itt

Underwhelming performance?! After the great pains they took to keep the public from confusing it with Mars Needs Moms!? Surely people were all like, "John Carter? I don't know who he is but he sure sounds interesting! I have to spend $15 to find out more!"

Mark Kermode went on an unholy rant about this, not that that means absolutely anything at all qualitywise, but it made me more aware of just how much the knives were out due to its production cost. I think I'm going to see it this week just to spite that, but my local multiplex is only showing it twice a day in 2D and I can't be fucked with anymore retro-fitted 3D nonsense, unless any of you ILXors think it worth the extra dosh.