ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

weirdly unshocked by Murray beating Djokovic. he can do all these things over three sets but...

lulz @ A-Rad's grab-the-cash-and-get-out pitstop in KL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kacntxp1tY

This is very great as an exhibit for the fauxness of the EVERYONE LOVES EVERYONE WTA, except Maria throwing shade on everyone with her facial expressions but at least trying to pretend this isn't beneath her (and everyone else). Petra = so adorbs.

maria's laugh is spectacularly annoying. absolutely determined not to say anyone else's name, isn't she? reminds me of the williams sisters' press conferences back in the day.

smh @ try-hard woz

Oh god, could there be anything as wonderful as waking up to find out that Jankovic has lost again? Well, finding out that Azarenka has suffered the least traumatic or sympathy-garnering thing that would nonetheless force her out of tennis so I get to enjoy her retirement while not feeling sorry for her. But anyway!

Finding out Hantuchova has lost is better. I think actual retirement is on the cards for Jankovic though.

so wish I could've watched last night's matches (not as if there was coverage anyway) - so many epic chokes.

Sloane Stephens led Care Bear 6-2 5-1 40-15 with Care Bear sobbing into her towel...lost that game on a DF, proceeded to lose 6-2 5-7 4-6.

And the big one, Azarenka leading Barthel 6-4 5-1 before Mona clawed it back...but then in the third set it was Barthel who couldn't hold on to a 4-1 lead, or serve it out at 5-4 or 6-5. Final score, Azza 6-4 6-7 7-6. Poor Mona, they've played three times this year in early rounds and twice Barthel's given her hell but been unable to close it (and the third time she won one game, lol).

Azza's bf Sergei Bubka also choked a 5-0 first set lead to KING KOLYA.

The fall cometh for Pavlyuchenkova. Vania King seriously owns her.

scheepers def kanepi 6-3 6-2

that bandwagon stalled rather quickly didn't it

this virus is wreaking havoc on the draw, huh

anyway congrats McHale, plz build on yr momentum and don't be an Oudin

a lesson has hopefully been learnt by the US media there. Oudin will fall out of the top 300 after Miami, incidentally. Good stuff from Jamie Hampton in making the 4R too - one of the most unheralded young Americans but has quietly made her way into the top 100 with zero hype.

IW is always quite prone to draws falling apart, I'm not convinced all the players put their full effort into it - I remember Ivanisevic bitching about the desert location with nothing to do back in the day. look at the carnage in the year Hantuchova first won, for instance - http://www.wta96.com/wiki/ltourn.php?nr=371

Really unimpressed with Llodra coming over all racist.

didn't expect that from llodra smh

just joined petrova-stosur. petrova wins the first 6-1, stosur wins the second 7-6. can just imagine how this has gone smh smh smh smh smh smh smh smh

Stosur just completely MISSED a smash

You probably won't be surprised to learn that Petrova served for it at 5-4 and had a MP in the TB

can someone explain the scoreline for Cibulkova/Vinci to me:

7-6 (5), 0-6, 2-1

did Cibulkova run to the concession stand for 15 minutes or something

scoreLiNa! would rather be watching that. possibly Cibulkova tanked the end of the set, though she has sucked this year and this is Women's Tennis so it could be anything

Oh look, guess what Petrova did on BP. Double fault five miles long

yes nadiaaaaa 1 more game plz

This is so much better than I expected from Nadia, I thought she was pretty much done and about to retire from singles! God, watching some of her shots, she has been such a waste of talent though.

4 errros from 0-30 of course. oh nadia

UGH nadezhda

the point she played to get to 0-30 was so good as well

xcfgvhbjnkhbgftrfhjgh so vile so vile so vile

Stosur's BH is painfully bad

nadia you fucking weirdo

such a moron

this TB is such a mess

fucking LOL @ that backhand from stosur

HAHAHAHAHAHA YES

fucking finally! Nadezhda that match should have been over at least an hour previously and also several times since

LOL @ Verdasco

Blows six set points, the 6th with a shanked FH, then immediately hands MP to Pony with a DF. All the while self-recriminating in true Women's Tennis style

In between both of them hit some remarkable winners though, that was good tennis

Care Bear ruining young Americans' lives here. Saved two MPs (came from 2-6 1-5 15-40 down) against Stephens, then a walkover from King, now saved three MPs against McHale.

Say hello to your new world number six... Caroline Wozniacki. Lololol, and Stosur is defending nothing at Wimbledon either, so Woz may not even get #5 back there...

Ugh, Ivanovic though

The lower half of Indian Unwells is just horrendous. Please please please let Cake come through. In fact a Li/Bartoli final would be ideal.

ANA IS BAAAACK!

azarenka/radwanska match was such a tease

no double bagel
and no schnyder/martinez-esque handshake
ugh

ugh if what Llodra said on court wasn't racist enough, his attempt at an apology was worse.

Llodra did speak to the Chinese news site SINA.com, in which he attempted to apologize. "My words were not aimed at China," Llodra said. "I love Chinese—I can totally make love with a Chinese girl."

Dead to me.

keep digging that hole Michael! good lord.

it seems he has form here too: http://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/llodra-denies-making-racist-remark-20110524-1f1il.html

complete with "some of my best friends..." plus "and my NANNY is an immigrant" kicker

I never paid attention to Llodra anyway so ignoring him after this is going to require little to no effort

also I love it when smh.com.au posts stories that make me smh

omg fucking LOL @ kirilenko

she throws up a defensive moonball of some sorts and then tries to distract sharapova by banging her racket on the ground FOUR TIMES lollll

the umpire gave the point to sharapova and kirilenko tried the whole "who? me?" act and the umpire was like "you did that intentionally."

fucking cheateerrrrrrr :)

banging racket on the ground more distracting than shrieking at the top of your lungs?

I really hate this tournament. Terrible terrible results all round. See also Isner beating Simon 7-5 in the third >:(

All results tainted obv. RACIST Indian UNwells

tbh I'm rooting for Isner if only because he's actually playing well, unlike Fish

watching the scorelines come in yesterday, I was all "ooh lex is not going to be happy about this"

I will say, though, that if Ivanovic is no longer useless I will be happy

banging racket on the ground more distracting than shrieking at the top of your lungs?

you realise kirilenko screams just as loudly as sharapova right? and yes obvs it's more distracting when you're about to play your shot than when your opponent is playing theirs.

i disagree

they're both hindrances but Kirilenko's was more egregious because who the fuck even does that mid-point.

Another all-Shriek final, sigh. Let us hope it only lasts 20 minutes like the last one.

Djokovic lost to Isner. Obv his results in earlier rounds weren't fantastic but...

I have decided I am tentatively pro-Isner. Large part of it is the would-smash factor :(

omg that was such a beautiful set of tennis