"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

You've got a few good years left, don't you? You may as well live them up, is what I hear, because it's all gonna be downhill soon.

― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Monday, February 27, 2012 10:19 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

You have absorbed the message!

For real Jon, I only mentioned that because I am always going to shows by myself and asking people to go with me, but people rarely take me up on it. That's ok, but I'm not going to let it stop me from seeing things I want to see. We met once to exchange tickets for money, but was I not a decent person? A normal person?

That is a rhetorical q btw. Just wanted to say that I like to go to shows too. And I usually go by myself. And this has not really helped me make any friends. ;)

jvc, I would like to meet you so I hope you do come to a ChILX thing some time! And since there is already one baby on board, we do family friendly things so you could bring the wife and kiddo and everything (dibs on holding the baby), if that's an obstacle.

Trust me guys, any and all apprehension about meeting the chilxor cru is on my self-conscious end and absolutely no judgment at all on you fine people!

Just wanted to say that I like to go to shows too. And I usually go by myself. And this has not really helped me make any friends.

that's only because you're always at the crazy avant improv shows

The all time most obvious example of that was Richard Pinhas. There were probably 20 people there, 2/3 of them lone weirdos (including me.)

I am always going to shows by myself and asking people to go with me, but people rarely take me up on it. That's ok, but I'm not going to let it stop me from seeing things I want to see.

Not that it needs saying but this is totally the right attitude and one I found myself surprisingly capable of holding (probably not very often but still) after doing exactly the same thing last week and having a perfectly nice time. I might prefer go to shows with others and mostly I will but nbd if people aren't interested.

I used to drag anyone I could to shows, now I only bring people if they're actually interested in the music. If it's a show I really care about I don't want to spend it worrying about them.

OTM. I can entertain myself with no problem.

Also tbf a weirdo did come up to me trying to make friends after the Richard Pinhas show, but in doing so he made a facile joke (you can imagine which one) and kinda bungled his chance. I also thought he might be a bit of a creep. I had my coat on and was clearly heading out the door and he stopped me to talk? Who does that.

I haven't done it in ages but I used to really like going to shows by myself. I didn't at first but I got used to it after a point adn sort of preferred it.

when i look back on how my social life formed and grew over the past few years and became pretty active w/various groups of folks, i can kind of easily see how it all came from just a couple of sources. meet one or two people, meet their friends, expand from there. it's not "easy" per se, but it can happen pretty organically especially if you have overlapping interests in which socializing is necessary.

when i moved to l.a. i had two friends, one of whom became a hermit and another who left town for a couple of years, and i was forced to go it on my own. getting married helped if only because it removed the whole aspect and occasional pressure and competition that comes from being single, but i think meeting a couple of people and working from there helped. and l.a., while being a "carefree" town where people like to "party", is a harder place to meet folks than chicago. attitude is crucial of course, if you think it's kind of a chore to meet folks it will be, but if you think it's easy and fun then you will in fact meet a lot of new people. *~~release your mind~~*

i never liked it, myself - but the older i get the more often i'm doing this. i guess it forces me (not really) to talk to people... being single and sort of shy and all.

wow xpost

it = going to shows on me own.

I think I've tended to shy away from sports leagues mostly because the people I do know that play in them take them very seriously. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of "just for fun" type leagues.

I wrote a post this morning and hit Post, but it didn't get posted, and it related to what you said.

I was looking for a social hobby or something so I could make gay friends b/c I've never had a close gay friend (until this past year, but now they're starting to look pretty flaky) so I tried kickball. Elmo A. recommended it as a low-pressure, fun, goof-off sport, but it turned out that Chicago gays take all sports seriously, even gd kickball.

I suck at sports, so it turned out to be a terrible experience. They were sticklers for rules, and they were really competitive. WTF, it's KICKBALL! I got yelled at a lot (by spectators, for such offenses as standing on the base line (I was not, but even if I were, who cares?); my team didn't yell at me, but they clearly pitied me) and I wound up in the ER w/ a serious sprain.

I have considered dodgeball, b/c surely that would be lower-pressure? Or maybe not.

Dude that was our kickball experience too. People go so into it! I have read Elmo's reports on Prov kickball and it sounds much much better but Providence and Boston are pretty different anyway.

I really want to play team sports and I know there are like a million opportunities in nyc but I am v. lazy also

Je55e, join that gay running group.

mookieproof specializes in hockey and basketball, you could ask him, iatee.

Jeff and I once tried to make friends by going contra dancing. It... did not pan out.

I'm more of a soccer person, I like playing basketball but I really suck at it

I love contra dancing! I did not make any friends doing it though. I also failed to make friends going to experimental dance events. Come to think of it, I have failed to make friends doing virtually every activity I've tried. Hooray! Doesn't stop me from trying though.

I strongly recommend doing things you really like doing alone anyway, because it can take a long time for things to work out and show results. When I started taking step-dancing like 10 years ago I wanted to meet cuet guys and make friends, and instead everyone was over the age of 50 except for a really gross man with long greasy hair who lived with his mother and didn't know when to stop staring. Today, some of my best friends are from dance, and it's been immeasurably valuable and fun over the last 10 years. It just takes time.

It helps to be good at the thing you're trying to do. I've yet to find that thing...

I don't how to monetize this but you are ROCKIN' at listening.

cooking? x-p

The thing is:

1. I don't really have many interests or hobbies or whatever. Or abilities.

2. The things I like to do are reading, watching movies, messing around online and w/ computers, and napping, which aren't group fun activities.

Do you like to talk about books and movies?

I've considered joining the gay running group, but again, I'm not really *into* running, it's just something I do every few weeks when I feel groggy.

xp - not in a group, no. I've tried to be a part of the short-lived ChiLX book club, but I read at my own pace, so that didn't work out.

jesse maybe you need to lead the group
noncompetitive runners who stop after 3 miles for a beer and talking about movies/books

Would sign up for that if I could skip the running three miles part.

Note, I'm not really asking for suggestions, since I've pretty much given up on seeking gay friends. If they happen, they happen, but I feel like I've exhausted my options for the time being.

Too bad, you're getting suggestions anyway.

just start a band called Gay Friends

Gay Feathers

An erect perennial herb, native to the midwestern United States, with flowers arranged on a thick spike. The purple to lilac flowers begin to open from the terminal end of the spike and slowly descend toward the base. Prefers well-drained, gravelly or sandy soils, and must have full sun for best results. Be patient, usually requires two to three years to become established from seed.

See? It takes 2 or 3 years, you have to be patient.

Start a club "Gays Who Want To Chill With Je55e and Not Be Uptight Weirdos"

I will post that to Meet-up.com!

Did this become the OKC thread while I wasnt looking? haha.

Just to throw out a suggestion: my social life in Chicago was saved by improv. It might not be a particularly easy thing to do with kids, but I've definitely known people who did it. But once you're in it, it's pretty much a readymade social circle to the extent that you actually want it to be. And (speaking as an introvert who can sometimes tend toward hermitage) it's probably still the best thing I ever did for myself for a number of reasons.

Heh, I actually quit taking improv classes in Chicago when I realized that I didn't care to commit the after-hours social time that seemed necessary for me to feel like I "fit in" with my classmates -- or at least in the way that I felt when I did improv with friends in college. I can definitely see how it'd be appealing for people actively looking to expand their social circle, though.

when i moved to l.a. i had two friends, one of whom became a hermit and another who left town for a couple of years, and i was forced to go it on my own.

ha, i just remembered that when i moved to london in 2004 i also only knew two people. neither of whom i talk to any more!

Heh, I actually quit taking improv classes in Chicago when I realized that I didn't care to commit the after-hours social time that seemed necessary for me to feel like I "fit in" with my classmates

Yeah, you kinda have to put in the time if you wanna make the most of it. I kinda can't even imagine walking into a roomful of relative strangers every single week (a growing percentage of whom had spent some time together outside of class) and trying to make that work.

But a little more on topic: Facebook...what's that all about?

The other day FB undid my default post settings, which are to post to "friends , but exclude these people" (and the exclusion list is quite large, its family and all the ppl I basically dont know). I was merrily posting crap to EVERYONE only FB for 2 days before I realised. I'm pissed it happened without my say so. I dont know wth happened.

What happened was Facebook's endless around fucking with their stupid site, which seems to result (unsurprisingly) in their constantly breaking or undoing things.

Least it didnt make me do public posts. Never understood why anyone does those. I'm paranoid I'll get run over one day and the newspaper will filch pics of me from my FB.

Also tbf a weirdo did come up to me trying to make friends after the Richard Pinhas show, but in doing so he made a facile joke (you can imagine which one)

"Have you heldon to your ticket?"

Now that would have been a good joke!

this former high school classmate (not a friend or someone i know personally really) is always posting those crazy xtian jesus/blood porn videos, and today she has this gem
http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/419646_357261340975334_100000744148158_1085275_248131062_n.jpg

Yeah my aunt posted that the other day and my eyes are still rolling.

God signs His name with a pretty saucy little calligraphy font there

def installing god-font asap