Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

- When rental property owners set up the kitchens so the fridge and the stove are directly next to each other.

- When my sweet, cuddly cat curls up on me in the middle of the night and proceeds to engage in hardcore grooming, waking me from a lovely sleep.

xp As a relatively healthy and also fat person with a history of disordered eating funtimes, I find those health initiatives to be anything but benevolent. Yuck.

- healthcare professionals who share a workspace and a patient (me) but act independently of each other forcing me to be the middleman who handles communication

― knocked over like the last act in Mackbeth (onimo), Tuesday, February 21, 2012 7:51 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I don't think that innocuous

– when you get bad gas due to i.e. sickness or dietary issues, and everybody everybody feels compelled to point it out to you every time let one go, even if you excuse yourself or w/e

xp As a relatively healthy and also fat person with a history of disordered eating funtimes, I find those health initiatives to be anything but benevolent. Yuck.

Especially bc it gives nosy coworkers a free pass to be "helpful" in policing others' health or fat.

haha wtf who points out other people being gassy?

#replaceband/song/filmwithrandomword trends on twitter. Tonight's is #replacebandnameswithpancake.

The innocuous bit is that they mean #replaceonewordin..., if they followed the letter of the hashtag every tweet would be the same.

people who stop on the way out of shops

ugh hate these ppl
people who stop in aisles, who stop in front of me for any reason, death from above in serious fashion

I was stalked on Saturday around the food Co-op by an elderly couple who seemed to wait til I was coming up behind them every single time to stop DEAD in the middle of the aisle to discuss how many tomatoes they needed or whether they had enough tortilla chips and do you think Angela likes this kind of coffee, I'm not sure we should ask her

of course I had a pounding headache so I'm sure they were actually kind of sweet and lovely

Haaaa somebody was exiting a revolving door this morning and just full on STOPPED immediately after exiting, without moving to the side to let others exit, fully blocking anyone else from coming out of the building.

I was passing by, and so was unaffected, but I thought o this thread.

that's when I get loud and pushy, vs my normal polite quiet deferential nice person

i think aisle blockage is more of a design problem than a user problem, like people should be able to stop and think about what they're buying without blocking the flow of other shoppers

they should. but it's not too much to ask that ppl also be aware of their surroundings and not just stop dead in their tracks when a thought enters their head. move to the right, let others pass, stand and ponder a while won't you...

sub-section of this is people just abandoning their shopping carts in the midle of the aisle, or in stupid places where no-one can get by. pull it off to the side, out of the WAY you fucking idiots.

Saturday was a hellish shopping day for me, as you can tell lol.

that's when I get loud and pushy, vs my normal polite quiet deferential nice person

The woman trying to get out of the building behind him had a few choice words for the fellow.

a swift kick to the lower back oughta do it

Yeah hate that people stopping randomly in front of you. Hate it more when it leads to somebody behind you barging into you.

Also hate getting off a bus at a stop where there's a surge of people trying to get on before people get off.

aisle blockage may have an excuse but entrance/doorway blockage doesn't. some people do this huge pause without even thinking they're in a doorway, just walk on a bit and find somewhere to do your WHERE DO I GO NEXT drooling

x-post people trying to get on before others get off drives me up the fucking walls, JUST WAIT.

Also hate getting off a bus at a stop where there's a surge of people trying to get on before people get off.

Yeah, I hate this so much too. I've been known to loudly let those jackals know just how disgusting and savage they are as I push through the crowd.

Fucking people ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS do this though! More so on trains than buses IME, but it doesn't matter - you stupid fucking people move out of the way!!! How can you not see that you are fucking not only the passengers who are alighting (ha) but YOURSELF.

FUKC I"M SO IA RIGHT NOW JUST THINKING GOUBT IT>

goubt it goubt it

I have an embarrassing IA that I'm not at all proud of:

lines for women's bathroom at two local venues. at both venues there's a HUGE amount of bathrooms, and the women insist on standing at the doorway peering their head in, instead of walking all the way in and finding an empty stall. there's always a ton of empty stalls. ALWAYS.

It drives me insane. So I will walk to the front of the line and enter the bathrooms through the adjacent exit, and get an available stall. My justification is if one day I walk in and there are NO empty stalls, or only 1, I will go to the end of the line. I have never had this happen, there are ALWAYS at least 10 open stalls.

But I am still kind of a jerk for doing this. I know.

I will offer you absolution if that's of any use to you. That sounds like you're modeling smarts for the others.

ty Je55e

and I usually give a heads up as I go in, like "Just walk in! there's plenty of stalls! Just walk in!"

I think I jumped a lengthy bus queue y/day but everyone else was just standing behind the queue for getting on another bus which had pulled in 30 seconds earlier and I know from experience that if you don't run past that queue - like, run the long way round instead of politely excusing yourself all the way through the middle of it - the bus driver just drives off. IA but guilty!

(plus I have a prepaid bus card which only works on that bus but nearly everyone else could get on either bus to go where they want for the same price)

"laaaater dudez"

We should list innocuous things we do that would make others irrationally angry. (cutting in line, etc.)

There are two stoplights I go through in the mornings, and if you don't gun it out of the chute at the first light, you get stopped at the second light. (The first car can usually make it through on a yellow.)

Most people don't know this, take their fashionable time to drive the block and then sit at the red light again for another five minutes. So if I'm at the first light and there's a car in the lane, I get over in the inside turning lane and hit the gas as soon as the light turns green.

For that block, I think the other driver might be thinking "Gosh, he's in a hurry!" but then when they get stopped at the light and see me going down the rest of Ninth Street, maybe they get why.

absolution for you too, spacecadet.

xp - pplains, I'll think about giving you one, too

Oh that a reassuring tale

Moderate annoyance: this train conductor keeps saying "please stand clear of the doors are closing."

Argh. Maybe not "moderate." Gets more irritating at every stop.

Coffee machines that stop working properly at the worst possible times.

xp there was one blue line driver that would say, in a quick staccato: "staaaand clearofthedoors, the doors are closing, step aaaall the way in for your safety step aaaall the way in, doors are closing"

It's the mashed together clauses (?clauses?) tht are bugging me. I keep following with corrections in my mind: stand clear of the closing doors or stand clear when the doors are closing.

Which reminds me, are they no longer required to say "do not attempt to board, doors are closing" (required after that woman jammed her stroller in closing doors and dumped the baby on the tracks)?

I haven't heard that in a while. And I'm on a different train now and the conductor isn't saying anything re the doors.

They are doing construction in the parking lot adjacent to us and its been shaking our entire building every 30-45 seconds all day, every day for the past week and a half. Really fucking annoying.

Ooo that's annoying in a way that drives you completely mad so subtly that you don't realize it until it's too late.

Yeah, its been tolerable, but all of the sudden about 3:00 yesterday afternoon it was driving me nuts. And when it started up again this morning, I got all IA.

What happens when it's too late??

They were replacing gas lines by my building all last summer and the constant low tremor + occasional jarring blast made me feel like I was going nuts. My poor lizard brain didn't get why we weren't fleeing for safety.

It's like when there is a high or low pitched noise that is almost out of range of human hearing or is very quiet and you don't know why you're all antsy and crabby all day until it stops.

What happens when it's too late??

Yeah, I can't lie that I keep looking at the old wooden beams holding this place up and start to wonder...

http://gothamist.com/attachments/arts_jen/REALMTAsign1011.jpg

^^ that makes me especially IA because they missed a golden opportunity to use "newer/fewer" or even just "new/fewer" for the internal rhyme.

i also hate their pattern. of using choppy sentences. that make me want to vomit.

if they made it all lower case
and spread it out without punctuation
they could say
e e cummings is writing
their ad copy

pajamas that have no button on the fly

lol I usually rip off the button if there is one

and you just walk around the house with your peen falling out half the time or what

GGGGRRRRRRRREEEEE MOOKIE that sign makes me grit my teeth uncomfortably every fracking time I see it.

I can't wear anything with buttons to bed.

Whaddya gonna do, rub your peen against a button all night?

i also hate their pattern. of using choppy sentences. that make me want to vomit.

― mookieproof, Wednesday, February 22, 2012 11:10 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

fragments. not sentences. word barf.

bump this thread every time mh's peen falls out of his pyjamas