things your mom said forever

Please use "you'd laugh to see a pudding crawl" in context. Is there a context?

― trishyb, Friday, 17 February 2012 13:24 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

supposing you were reading an excelsior thread and noticed that there was a poster submitting lols there about every five posts, many of which weren't that funny, and you felt you needed to say something

that is what you would say to them

- Put your hat on!/Are you wearing a hat? (probably not)
- We're not heating the outdoors! (why is it hard for kids to close doors)
- elbows off the table! sit up straight! (ugh)
- no fighting! (fighting!)
- i love you (i love you too...)

over the last decade my mom has heavily used

ISH!

instead of shit or dang or what have you

something about the way it sounds makes the hair on the back of my neck standup

i should shave that hair btw

"If you're cold, put on a sweater."

"If you're cold, put on a sweater."

― getting good with gulags (beachville), Friday, February 17, 2012 8:54 AM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Mom otm about the sweater

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

(Catholic Mom 3-alarm fire)

Correcting my grammar any time I said "me and _____" instead of "______ and I". Continues to this day.

If you're cold, move around.

If you're bored, go outside and play.

In response to toddler tears: You must be tired. You should go to bed.

You get more with sugar than vinegar.

xp Even when "me and ____" was correct? That hypercorrection has much to answer for.

In response to "What's for dinner?": "What are you making?"

I don't know in which cases "me and _____" would be correct. My mom probably does though. I'm just talking about the general "Me and Mikey are going to the park." "Mikey and I!"

that is what you would say to them

Certainly is now.

"Who's she, the cat's mother?" Because you said "she" instead of the person's name.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

(Catholic Mom 3-alarm fire)

Sometimes can be "Jesus, Mary and Joseph and the holy donkey!" when the mood's right.

xp:emphasis hers

"Jesus, Mary and Josephine!"

Yeah, "You'll catch more flies with honey" was a big one at our house, too.

Also a lot of bible verses tbh.

In response to "What's for dinner?": "What are you making?"

Looool. At our house this was:

"What's for dinner?"
"Food."
(very put out) "What KIND of food???"
"The edible kind."
"MOOOOOM! What KIND of edible food?"
"The kind I'm making."
...&tc

Also if you asked too many questions or stayed in the kitchen, she'd make you wash something.

Jesus, I have started having that exchange with my son at dinner time.

"Make yourself useful, and not just ornamental."

"Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugliness goes all the way to the bone."

The reason I get defensive is that I know he's asking because he know whether it's something he can complain about.

My mom's favorite of-the-moment profanity, inherited from my grandmother, was "Shit fire and save the matches."

Why do you think she wouldn't tell us it was "camper stew"?

They should put her on a boat and sink it.

(said of whatever pop singers were pissing her off at the time: Madonna, Sinead etc)

"Who's she, the cat's mother?" Because you said "she" instead of the person's name.

Yep!

I don't know in which cases "me and _____" would be correct.

Same cases where you'd say just "me" if "_____" wasn't present. "The teacher asked me and _____ to stay behind after school." Basically everyone on TV now says "_____ and I" in every single case. I try not to be a grammar pedant but at least here I can lay the blame on (incorrect) grammar pedants themselves.

(not to pick on yr mum, my mum said it too)

People are for loving, not for hitting.

In response to my three-time sneezes: "God bless you! God love you! God keep you safe!"

We must be parsimonious.

And when she was apologizing sarcastically, she would sing (terribly, she has a terrible singing voice) the first few lines to "I'm Sorry" by the Platters.

I don't know in which cases "me and _____" would be correct.

Same cases where you'd say just "me" if "_____" wasn't present. "The teacher asked me and _____ to stay behind after school." Basically everyone on TV now says "_____ and I" in every single case. I try not to be a grammar pedant but at least here I can lay the blame on (incorrect) grammar pedants themselves.

― ledge, Friday, February 17, 2012 10:41 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

People say the it's "_________ and I" thing so often than actually knowing when "me and _________" is correct is still difficult for me to this day.

The phrase "trauma and drama" to describe any unpleasant or unfortunate situation.

"Well you know your dog is a shelter-rescue dog, who knows what kind of trauma and drama went on in her life..."

"Finally, a Christmas without all the trauma and drama!"

'Home again, home again; jiggety-jig.'

'Well-- there the damn thing sits!'

'This too shall pass...'

"what you say may fade away, but what you write will never."

was that pre-messageboards?

"only fools names and face do appear in public places" wrt graffiti

"...take walk with frog" when announcing any and all imminent plans

this stems from all time literary classic

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/91/Frog_and_toad_cover.jpg/200px-Frog_and_toad_cover.jpg

in which Toad writes out a 'to do' list including the above

"Stick out your tongue"

If she thought I was lying she would make me stick out my tongue because to check and see if it was green because everyone knows that's what happens when you lie.

God how I loved Frog & Toad Are Friends

"only fools names and face do appear in public places" wrt graffiti

My grandmother said this! In her version it was "Fools' names, like fools' faces, are often seen in public places"

Which is like... what is the meaning there? That wise people stay indoors all day??

Which is like... what is the meaning there? That wise people stay indoors all day??

My understanding of it would be: fools go outdoors like everyone else, so their faces are routinely seen; however, with regard to names, only those of fools appear in graffiti.

Whenever I said I felt sick, she would feel my forehead and pronounce: "Cool as a cucumber!"

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGHT THOUGHT (in response to saying, upon getting in trouble, "but i thought..."). i still don't know what thought, thought.

you sound like a herd of baby elephants (walking too loudly around the house)

were you born in a tent?? (not closing the door after myself)

children should be seen and not heard (i feel like i heard that every day of my childhood)

(upon making a face) better be careful the wind doesn't change or your face will stay like that

if you ask, you won't get

don't get pregnant!

waste not want not

took me about 20 years to figure out what that one meant.

"but he started it" "well you carried on with it!"

you're not getting down from the table until you eat everything on your plate (she meant it, too)

there are children starving in ethiopia, so just be grateful you have anything to eat (it was always ethiopia)

"Why do you think COATHANGERS were invented?" (when I threw my coat in a corner or on the floor)

"I'm going to have to phone your school! They are making you way too smart for your own good" (when being a smartass)

"Because I say so!"

a lot of you have very poetic moms

"Funny how? Like I'm a clown, like I'm here to amuse you? Tell me--what the fuck is so funny about me?"

We all miss mom.

an exaggerated sassy "thank you!" when someone says something she considers particularly OTM