Severe Anxiety

<3

<3 yourself

no panic attacks per se, but I've been living in a really tense and overanxious state for weeks, on and off. I've kind of grown resigned to the fact that until the first leg of the project I'm working on is over (April - May, ugh), I'm going to be dealing with this. It's just more stress than I'm used to, combined with traveling and my body is yelling at me for not having taken a break because this is following a seriously difficult series of projects that ran for 5-6 months. I'm def taking a vacay in May.

Drinking more than usual, not alarmingly so (not even to drunk state), but I don't like the idea that I'm telling myself subconsciously that I have to drink to relax.

There was also a girl I was interested in, who i've been hanging out with a lot, and early positive signs that I thought indicated there would be potential have kind of fizzled...decided to give up last night, because I can't take the added stress of rejection and I don't know what kind of boyfriend I'd even be right now when I'm fighting anxiety/stress all day. I think "friend" is about the only role I can play to anyone right now, and even that's in a reduced state.

(don't take this to be all negative...I just like putting things out in the open because acknowledging them helps me defeat them in a way).

Yeah. The drinking under stress is a classic self-medication deal. Good that you're aware of it.

A vacation sounds like a most excellent idea. You're young enough that you probably won't need to crash/sleep for a week, and the best re-creation might be something that is active and takes your mind somewhere totally engrossing and different. Good luck with your porject.

thanks. the good thing is that the project does have the capability of catapulting my career, and thus far, I'm doing very well on it. It's just that there's risks involved that me nor my colleagues have little control over, such as client giving us things way too late or forgetting to give us things.

I usually take a mini-vacay in May each year for the local Fr!nge Festiv@l, need to just bump it up to a full week and chill with my friends.

ugh, should have said "neither I or my colleagues have any control over"

hmm. went to the movies this afternoon, afterwards a wave of peace kind of fell over me (maybe I should go more often). all these little things (I think they call them 'emotions') kind of came back, as if returning from an outage.

I enjoy this return to normalcy...hopefully it is considering a permanent stay instead of just temporary.

now if the eye twitch will go away....we'll be golden!

Does anyone here have any experience with Pregabalin?

Rough two days at work interrupted a week of anxiety free relaxation and sent me back to jittery land.

Decided to go to karaoke bar with friends as per usual Friday. Get here and girl i am interested in for no apparent reason starts bagging on me. Probably just meant in good nature but my humor-button is broken atm. So drinking and feeling lower than low and wishing normalcy would get here on a jet plane.

Oh hi emotional breakdown.. long time no c....

Ugh I haven't had to live with someone I wasn't in a relationship with for awhile, and here I am, almost 4pm and I don't want to leave my room because I'm terrified of having to explain why I'm leaving my room for the first time at 4pm.

DEAR MENTAL ILLNESS: How did you get so very fucking good at perpetuating yourself?

Is your roommate chill enough that maybe you won't have to explain?

here I am, almost 4pm and I don't want to leave my room because I'm terrified of having to explain why I'm leaving my room for the first time at 4pm.

I think you would get away with saying you have a migraine/hangover/severe cold/deadline/other assorted illness? So I reckon you should hold that excuse in mind, leave your room, and maybe go out for a walk or something while you're at it.

en eye see kay I know exactly what you're talking about. Skipped dinner last night as a result.

here I am, almost 4pm and I don't want to leave my room because I'm terrified of having to explain why I'm leaving my room for the first time at 4pm.

this describes too much of my life

so funny because i think my anxiety issues are minor because i'm usually a-ok and know simple ways to deal. but like, then i accidentally break all these rules for living with low anxiety levels:

don't get tired
don't get hungry
don't get stressed
don't get hungover
don't have dreams that wake you up in a panic
don't pack your schedule too tight
don't look at your computer/phone within 10 minutes of waking up

anxiety is bizarre. everything i was worrying about an hour ago is all relatively minor and can be dealt with. so says the beer i'm drinking. and that beer is correct.

man i TOTALLY feel u -- yesterday and today have been wrecky.

ready for it?

tell me when you're ready

ok hit me

yeah, i knew yesterday was building up to something, just bc i could feel the tiredness + nervous buzz mounting even though yesterday was a good day. yet today was a more productive day, but i chalk that up to ability to focus on work with deadlines while compartmentalizing the suddenly mounting worries.
i should even be doing work right now but i'm just, no, it's going to have to wait until tmrw morning. mental health is more important!
xps

i'm sure that reading about shooting sprees and global warming death forecasts didn't help today

otm

http://i.imgur.com/6fr5c.gif

fuck you pabst

yeah it's weird to talk about anxiety issues when there's so much big bad shit going on in the world but if we can't take care of ourselves for a minute and get our ability to reason and problem solve on the bigger issues back on track, then we're even more fucked

deal w/that beer, then deal w/the world

do you see the pabst's infectious smile yet?

was thinking of making clear beer cozies w/ cartoon shades on them, "pabst glasses"

you could do a whole line of characters

Well this sucks.

Seeing a doctor this afternoon, but in the meantime tips/tricks/encouraging words are welcome. First time I've ever experienced this--it's AWFUL!

anything in particular trigger it?

although, seeing as it has been 10 hours since you posted and when i so helpfully replied, you're probably past the tips/tricks phase. hopefully the doc was helpful!

tell us yr woes quincie

Well, I had a particulary stressful work situation a few weeks back (angry client going apeshit to anyone who would listen--never fun) and that caused totally understandable anxiety for a while. But instead of it disappating like it usual does (I've been in plenty of stressful work situations before), it just kept. . . going. And going. And getting worse to the point that I felt physically ill much of the time. And at this point it isn't even that particular client issue that is making me anxious--it has kind of taken on a life of its own, including being anxious about being anxious!

Doc was very matter of fact. He said "when would you like to start feeling better?" and I replied "uh, NOW would be good." He wrote me a script and said if I stopped at the pharmacy on the way home and took the first dose, I'd be feeling better by dinner.

Turns out 1 mg xanax is too much xanax for this gal, so I'm trying half that today. He thinks a brief round of chill pills plus a change of venue (I was to be on vacation next week, anyway, and called my boss today to see if I could just go ahead and start it early) will do the trick. I asked about CBT but he didn't think it was needed? Kinda skeptical about the medication-and-vacation strategy, but hey I'll give it a go. I feel better just having done something about it, I guess.

But man, do I ever feel for my anxious peeps on this thread. I am so so so hoping that this is a one-time thing and that I can put it behind me and not have to worry about it again, because it is truly a terrible, terrible feeling with many bad sequelae re: work, lyfe, physical & metal health, etc.

Like basically my brain was working at about 50% max for the past several weeks; I couldn't remember shit that was just told to me, had trouble reading and writing and doing basic math--it's like I lost a bunch of IQ points somehow. And the physical stuff felt so so bad--the tightness in the chest and queasiness/wanting to throw up all the time, hot flashes like the kind you have when you have to slam on the brakes to narrowly avoid a bad car accident. . . I swear I could actually *smell* the adrenaline and cortisol seeping out of me 94/7.

vacation is a therapy in itself, sometimes

^^^I do believe this, and wish I didn't work in an environment where taking a week off--much less multiple weeks--is like OMG HOW WILL YOU DO IT???

this worked for me, so i'll put it out there - it may work for you too... i started a CBT course (self-learning, not group therapy) for my airplane phobia, and one of the things i found was that the CBT method of teaching you why you're anxious, what is going on in your body to make you feel that way, and some of the strategies to regulate those physical feelings rather than giving into them or getting more stressed about them, really helped with a lot of my general anxiety. so, while a proper CBT treatment course may not be warranted, it might not hurt to buy a book or two and at least go through the first few chapters to better prepare you if rising anxiety comes back after your vacation.

Any book recommendations?

i repped this up thread (it is the one ytth worked with): http://www.amazon.com/End-Panic-Breakthrough-Techniques-Overcoming/dp/1572241136/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

i think it deals more specifically with panic attacks, but the same techniques work to alleviate anxiety attacks.

thanks, ytth and just1n3--I'm basically a biochemistry dork anyway, so learning more of the physiological stuff will be interesting and no doubt helpful. As of a few minutes ago I am also officially on vacation for ten days, and a change in schedule/change in venue/time to read stuff other than work crap and hang out with people other than batshit clients is likely to give me a good dose of DEAL WITH IT

Like basically my brain was working at about 50% max for the past several weeks; I couldn't remember shit that was just told to me, had trouble reading and writing and doing basic math--it's like I lost a bunch of IQ points somehow. And the physical stuff felt so so bad--the tightness in the chest and queasiness/wanting to throw up all the time, hot flashes like the kind you have when you have to slam on the brakes to narrowly avoid a bad car accident. . . I swear I could actually *smell* the adrenaline and cortisol seeping out of me 94/7.
this is my normal state of being in the months of august-october basically
does this indicate that i have a problem?

well do you like it or no

not really
sometimes i can make it work for me but usually it just makes me feel like i'm choking
i have trouble asking for help :-/

Xp to quincie - imo situational needs are great for dealing with the actual anxiety attack, but cbt is better for dealing with the anxiety-about-getting-anxiety

Isn't that when your job is winding up for the season? I think that it could be a good idea to figure it out.

fwiw, I grew up thinking that a lot of anxiety was normal and this wasn't really disproven by my "I'm so worried about work that I'm throwing up due to nervous stomach in the morning" father and my socially-anxious mom.

Severe anxiety had me all fucked up earlier this year. Too much school on top of my full-time job and new experiences in professional life (all-expenses-paid trip to a national conference) were stressing me out which started to really mess with my multiple sclerosis symptoms.
It created a horrifying feedback loop of stress, symptomatic flare-ups, and terrible anxiety over all of it (surely not helped by my overindulgence of w33d). Being in a long-distance relationship has had some effect on all of this, too.

I had to drop six of the seven hours I'd registered for (not such a huge loss as I am University staff and most of the expense is covered). I took advantage of the free counseling service for university staff, which has really helped a lot.

I'm swimming daily now and I've cut back on smoking considerably. I've never gotten any prescriptions for anxiety meds, afraid I'd just abuse them, tbh. Feeling better than I have in years. About to start another semester. I've decided to just take it one class at a time. I'm not finishing it this year, so be it. There's always next year.