Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

haha

Speaking about the naming of his Monaco account, Mr Redknapp said he called the account Rosie after his pet bulldog because "I loved her to bits".

He told the court that he had to add his birth date to the name as there was another Monaco HSBC account called Rosie.

When prosecutor John Black QC suggested someone else might have had a dog by the same name, Redknapp said: "Or wife".

He added: "If she was as nice as Rosie they have got a good wife."

Redknapp drew laughter from the jury when he was asked about his decision to name the Monaco bank account ‘Rosie 47’, after his dog and his year of birth. He said he had added the number when the bank manager told him there was another account called Rosie.

“Lets hope it was not another dog,” Mr Black said. “Please, it could be someone’s wife,” Redknapp said. “If she is half as nice as Rosie he has got a good wife.” Later he said: “I still don’t like calling her a dog, she was so much better than that.”

Pros I know in the criminal defence game reckon this is the holy grail, btw, getting a jury to laugh along with you. A laughing jury never convicts, they say.

my TV watching confirms this

FFS how ludicrous can this trial get. Next we'll be reading how Pele turned up and volleyed a ball at the prosecution lawyer and the judge smiled and said: "I'm going to allow this!"

everyone loves a rogueish cockney, nobody likes taxes. i'm putting this down as a banker jeff

i thought people hated rich people dodging taxes these days?
hang him

yknow i think harry's scheme of pretending to be so mentally deficient that he couldn't possibly make up a vaguely plausible lie may just work.

John Terry has been stripped of the England captaincy, sources close to the defender have told the tabloids for £10,000.

Who wants it then? Joe Hart?

Absolutely crushed that this racist who has played terribly all season and frankly since Ricardo Carvalho left will not longer lead Our Brave Lads into battle.

£10,000 for that tiny snippet of info?! Blimey, I have to be friends with this guy. I think my record on ILX shows I always defended Terry, right?

cunt

Scotty Parker until Phil Jones or whoever is ready?

they should give it to Tevez and combine all interminable sagas into a single black hole of tedium

lol James

Is Parker definitely first choice now?

Just think, they could have got a tour of Stamford Bridge for the same money.

He has been since lolbarryatwc2010 right?

Appoint Brian Blessed ffs, he wouldn't even need to be on the pitch for all the role requires

seriously though, Theo could do it

You've got to admire EBRJT's ability to alienate half his teammates and get stripped of the captaincy ahead of every major tournament. It's quite an achievement.

He shouldn't be in the squad at all for the Euros, he'll be such a divisive and destructive presence it isn't worth it.

England should be allowed to field two teams. An evil one and a good one (might have difficulty getting eleven players for the latter though)

^ I like that

I kind of want BRJT to be reappointed now. Waiting for the shoe to drop is more fun than it actually dropping imo.

good one wld be better imo!

               Hart
Johnson Smalling  Cahill Baines
         THUDD     Parker
Lennon       Lampard*    Milner
             Zamora

*Hmmm, he is a tory but other than that, doesn't seem as cunty as he should be. Maybe replace with AOC or I guess Theo.

**Ok so most of these guys are most probably horrible people and they just happen to be the ones I haven't yet heard the stories about.

I reckon saintliness might be the criterion for Olympic selection, so we may actually get to see this brave new world fail in practice

I just made a physical resemblance brainlink between Jose Mourinho and Richard Dawkins, I think it might only work from a low angle, not sure what this means for anything but there it is.

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/columnists/2012/1/24/1327421568201/Jose-Mourinho-003.jpg

Non-cunts England XI

Hart
Any of the RBs really, Jones, Smalling, Baines
Walcott, Parker, Okay I'm lost here, Young seems alright?
Dunno Welbeck and Bent or something?

Bit rubbish, really.

BECKS IN SENSATION RETURN AS ENGLAND CAPTAIN

affair with pig wanker is not so unsaintly?

she wasn't a pig wanker until afterwards tbf

Glen Johnson - steals toilets from Homebase
A Young - sends nekkid pics of himself over teh internet

Actually spending time thinking about whether this should bar them from the non tossers 11.

Baines' music blog is reason enough to bar him from the good guys XI

Is that still going?! What's he into these days?

Beady Eyes. Probably.

He hasn't updated since May, but names dropped then include Mercury Rev, Beastie Boys and Kate Bush, plus some things I'm too old to recognise.

he (Barton) always struck me more in the mould of comic book characters such as The Punisher – the type whose methods could be repulsive but possess a certain uncompromising allure.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2012/feb/01/joey-barton-craig-bellamy-bad-boys?CMP=twt_gu

Apparently Cleverley is in the squad for the weekend. Utd are going to walk this now.

Apparently JT's out though. Where's the fun in that?

Cole suspended as well. Nani (if he plays) and Valencia could have a good time against whatever's left

good to see the best midfielder in britain back for united.

well yeah, that was my point

oh you probably meant Scholes though

This could be one of those twice-a-season games in which they wheel out Paulo Ferreira to remind everyone he exists.

untried Cahill-Luiz partnership at CB too, this might not be pretty

Really what I'd like is a nice low-scoring draw that does neither side any favours but the way Chelsea have been playing lately I don't see it. United haven't been very good lately either although winning while being shit is basically what they do.

sometimes we lose while being shit

sometimes we win while being great

older posters may remember this

20 years is quite long enough for an era, I'm fed up with this now