The art of maintaining romance with no money at all

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Matt, would you recommend Green Park for such a walk?

Yes. Take her dogging.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Hrmmm. The funny thing is, all the things on the cards were things I didn't mind, or even actually enjoyed myself. Had I *really* been pragmatic as well as romantic, I would have included coupons for things like "I will sit through an hour of ranting about the state of modern art and hypocritical bitching about the Saatchi Collection" or "Two free hours of rampant atheistic dogmatism" or other whatnot that I actually *hated*. That would have been far more of a sacrifice and therefore more romantic. Or, erm, something.

Sorry, I'm rubbish at this romance thing.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"Two free hours of rampant atheistic dogmatism"

You get that too? Hahaha!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Got. Past tense. I never have to put up with the rampant atheist ranting EVER AGAIN!!! This is one of the best things about being single.

I don't know why atheists think it's perfectly OK to rant on and on about atheisism, when if you had to put up with the same amount of time and energy from a born-again Christian or something, you'd open the door, shove them out it, and slam it in their face...

Bitter, moi?

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey! Not all atheists think that it's ok to do that!

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:46 (twenty-one years ago)

If I quoted the Bible at him, like he quoted Richard Dawkins, why... ::shakes fist::

Anyway, we are talking about romance here, not atheism!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey yeah, sorry.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course there's my old standby, breakfast in bed with all the fixin's.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Ricky seconded. Although there is mucho free entertainment in baiting extremely stupid religious people.

"Oooh, don't you just love what they wear in the Watchtower, honey? All those nice pastel polyester leisure suits, just the ticket for meeting your Maker in!"

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Breakfast in bed is loverly! In fact, being cooked for, fullstop, is loverly.

x-post ... LIKE I SAID ON THE CLAIRVOYANT THREAD, if it's wrong for other people to do it to you, it's wrong for you to do it to other people. Fucking hypocritical atheists. You should all be rounded up and shot - WHO'S GOING TO MEET ETERNAL NOTHINGNESS NOW, HUH? HUH?

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I derive great pleasure from baiting Christians, but there's not much fun to be had baiting rampant atheists, because they're right.

Breaky in bed will definitely go on the coupon card. Plus there's one sexxxxxy thing that she'll love, that can go on there too. What's a teabagging, incidentally?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:55 (twenty-one years ago)

You don't want to know.

(Though I must admit that I found out the term from ILX, actually.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 08:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm perfectly happy for the religious to criticise me for my atheism. Can't take, don't dish etc.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to take the religious view or the atheist view depending on whether I feel like it. I am a post nihilist I think.

ANYWAY. There'll be no teabagging, as if the term came from ILX, I can guess what it involves.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Good morning, pot! My name is kettle! You're looking a bit dark today!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahaha no no, I'm totally in favour of teabagging, whatever it is, but I suspect it involves something I should be getting for my birthday, rather than hers. I like tea. She's not so much of a fan.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:13 (twenty-one years ago)

you could make her a cd of 'significant songs' from your relationship. my brother's long-term girlfriend made him a picture frame from dried flowers from the bouquets he'd given her since they started dating. cheesy, but sweet. photo collages are nice, and can be done inexpensively with color copiers.

how long have you been dating? that makes a difference, i think...

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:13 (twenty-one years ago)

About 3 years.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha ha, whoops, sorry, that was an X-post to Suzy.

But, erm, yeah, you're right on the teabagging being a your-present thing rather than a her-present thing.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a different thing when she's drunk, but ANYWAY, let's see, we've got footrub, backrub, brekkie in bed, the sexxxxy thing she likes, hmmm photo collage is great idea but I don't know whether I have the photos. We take photos, they go straight on the fridge. Maybe a really really sweet little note and package of little things I've made, little collages or something. Yes....

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

oral sex, costs no money, keeps the partner satisfied, everyone is happy, everyone gets to eat, a bargain really.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

It wouldn't be a coupon card without at least one of those.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't 'give' sexual things as presents, because I don't like the taint of doing someone a favour. If I don't enjoy something then I probably just won't do it, tbh, and if I do enjoy it then we'll be doing it anyway so it wouldn't be much cop as a gift.

Things you've made are always the best gifts, whatever they are. A (non-sexually!) personalised cake is my favourite suggestion so far.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, i like the idea of a cake or something similar.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, thats true. doing sexual things as favours is wrong. its the wrong path.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone who gave me a photo collage (the gift that says 'look! this is the corner of our room where we prove we've got FRIENDS and a LIFE against all other evidence!') in a clipframe would be shown the door IMMEDIATELY as I object to these on aesthetic grounds.

Free condoms: Terence Higgins Trust
Free art: National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not doing sex as a favour - it's doing sex as a gift! It's making some special into something even *more* special!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

dick, trust me, there's one thing that should definitely be on that coupon.

Cake - or a pavlova. She likes those, and they're not too hard to make.

http://www.lieblingsrezepte.ch/Bilder/pavlova.jpg

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, I dunno. If you can say 'I will do a nice sex thing for you because of x' then you can say 'I WON'T do a nice sex thing for you because of x', and witholding sex is the crappest idea anyone ever had. Nobody wins! I just want to remove the because.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Plan a really cool walk (if you're in a reasonable sized city, this can be thematically linked with nice architecture and that), possibly incorporating a romantic picnic, and make up a pretty itinerary card for it.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

A really nice thing to do is, when she's out, get lots of candles or tealights (pretty inexpensive) and spread them all around the bathroom. Pipe some sexy tunes in, scatter rose petals in the bath. Help her undress and pour her a glass of wine while she soaks. Heat a bath towel for when she gets out and offer to dry her off.

Works a treat, I promise.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:42 (twenty-one years ago)

CAKE! Cake is the best gift ever! Man, I love cake. Quickest way to RickyT's heart really is through the cakehole.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes suzy, I cannot be corny with this woman.

Penelope and Liz are TOTALLY on the money with those ones.

I once found a $2 hip flask in a second hand store with a leather sheath with the drama happy clown mask/sad clown mask on the front. She LOVED it. I couldn't tell her how cheap it was.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

you could do a picnic/walk that ends with a CAKE! combine all the best suggestions...

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

The picnic, the cake, the wine, then home for a bath with rose petals...

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

And paint her toenails! If a man took the time and patience to do mine, I'd find that incredibly sexy and romantic.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Then a footrub, then a bagrub.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

A BACKrub. A backrub. Jeeeezus.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

No, see, Archel, I like your idea even less - because it makes sex out to be something you *have* to do with your partner, regardless of how you feel about it. Which is the slippery slope that eventually leads to marital rape.

Some sex acts are more geared towards the pleasure of one partner than the other. They just are. In things like backrubs or cunnilingus or teabagging one partner is very much the receiver and the other the giver. To do it as a special gift *because* you know it's something special for a partner, that, to me, is a better idea than doing it out of obligation or duty.

I mean, *any* of these things - cooking dinner, going for romantic walks with your partner, etc. - are things that one could or perhaps *should* really be doing for your partner all the time in a romantic relationship. Sometimes it's nice to make a big deal out of something simple, that's what keeps the romance in, for me.

But... like I have said, what do I know about romance anyway?

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah you know, they should be done every day, but they aren't are they? And I am no exception.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with Penelope on the bath (was just about to type it!) but if you are looking for romance rather than a treat, I would suggest having the bath together with candles & wine. I love that the most! Especially if it's with champagne, but I am happy with a cheap bottle of cava!!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah! a bottle of cava, plus a bath-bomb from lush (under £3 and SOOOO luxurious) and some candles= somewhat cheezy but still really sweet and thoughtful romance.

offer to wash her hair, as well. it is so nice to have someone else wash your hair.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, you are so right. Combine applying conditioner with scalp massage and it's a surefire winner.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm putty right now.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, that's a good one.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

It's in the bag.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah it IS really nice to make a big deal out of something sometimes, I'd never deny that. Some sex IS different and special for all kinds of reasons.

I just wouldn't want someone to emphasise that they were doing something sexual FOR me, as a present. If they are doing something kinda one-way then I know it's because they want to please me and that's enough, without announcing it. I suppose that's all I don't like, the *announcing* or the edge of bestowing favours.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I disagree on the bath front. But I would. I like having baths, but they're private things for me.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I think she's good to go with the bath thing. It's tried and tested, that one.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 56 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

If you are going to cook her a meal, make sure you go the whole way & dress up in a suit aswell.
-- PinXor

Oooh yes and slow dancing both.

What do boys like? Dress ups.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Kelsey, I think I feel uncomfortable if someone goes out of their way to please me. Mayeb I feel that the attention is a bit much, or that I don't deserve special treatment? Which is odd cos I love doing it for the people I care about. But yeah, having my gf be loving, attentive aand proactive and HAPPY is perfect for me.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

The best birthday I ever had, my gf welcomed me at the door, blindfolded me, led me to bubblebath, put champagne in my hand, tray of oysters on ice on my lap, then back to the kitchen for her to finish special dinner with candles.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you accidentally eat the rock salt?

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 2 September 2004 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

The blindfold was off at that stage.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 2 September 2004 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

sitting on the street and making up stories about people is a great idea. best done on the roof of a building instead of on the street, and with a bottle of cheap bubbly.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I would vote for the combo of dressing up, making her dinner, and slowdancing in candlelight. How's the romance! I'd be hugely impressed if someone did that for me.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Gotta say, she loves it when I don a nice suit. Dancing lessons I have never had, such a shame.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

you don't need dancing lessons for slowdancing! all you need is sexy music and physical proximity! i think almost all men scrub up beautifully in a suit.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm worried about the dancing suggestion tho... cos even though i love LOVE love dancing, if someone who emphatically doesn't dance suddenly wants to slowdance with me, i'd laugh riotously.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

hehe good point lady ms lurex. Laughter is fun too though!

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes Di, but you're you and she is she. She'd be fine with it. I'm certain!

you don't need dancing lessons for slowdancing! all you need is sexy music and physical proximity!
-- gem

Hooray, you're right!! What music?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

go the dancing then, col!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

you have to choose the music col! as an aside, i am very daggy but i think elvis costello's version of my funny valentine is most sexy.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Hehehe I'm thinking some sloooow jazz.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Thursday, 2 September 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Just do the little things often.

― jim wentworth (wench), Thursday, 2 September 2004 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm easily wooed by the silliest things - if I came home to find my boy had cleaned the entire house top to bottom, and lit candles and poured some wine and then stuck on a nice DVD, I'd be ovr the moon.

I suspect if I did some nice thing for him like dressups or cuddles he'd just want to jump my bones within 5 minutes flat, haha. Ah, men. Luv yas.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 2 September 2004 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

jim wentworth couldn't be more right if he tried.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 2 September 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

twenty years pass...

My boyfriend has an injured rotator cuff and has to do these repetitive exercises in the evening. I like to put on early Steve Reich and pretend he is doing choreography by Anne Teresa e Keersmaeker.

― plax (ico), Monday, 3 February 2025 21:09 (one year ago)

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