Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

oh old people and computers. My dad complained because his PC was virtually at a standstill. I opened a browser and he had installed so many mystery toolbars that the actual browser window only took up about 40% of the screen. Then when I tried fixing it he stood over me and constantly threw random ideas at me with such intensity that I actually couldn't fix his computer.

xp oh god

knock knock
whos there
interrupting cow
interrupti---MOO!

Details changed, but:

Q. And then if you go to the next
page, Bates numbered 120, have you --
A. Yep.
Q. -- seen this document
before?
A. I'm sorry.
Q. Do you recall seeing this?
A. Sure.

haha oh god

And it's funny b/c at the beginning of every single deposition, the witness is instructed not to say uh-huh, yep, mm-hmm. This lady doesn't respect The Law.

yep.
uh-huh.
definitely.
huh?

Sorry, "MOTH" is that an abbreviation for mother-in-law or something?

Q. Ma'am would it be OK if --
A. Yeh.
Q. -- I punched your tits off? You already said yeh, so here we go.

xpost yes. or a very large scary moth.

lol jesse dying over here

You should start a thread on "funny shit I've seen in depositions."

yes please

the "uh huh" thing pisses me off so much more in person than on the phone, i guess because over the phone it is for memory retention purposes, whereas in person it seems like someone is pretending as hard as they can to pay attention to whatever you are saying.

Q. Ma'am would it be OK if --
A. Yeh.
Q. -- I punched your tits off? You already said yeh, so here we go.

this is great

Thought you might like that. My sense of humor is always a hit with Brits.

http://www.clevercaption.com/uploadedImages/emississippi/_angry-baby.jpg

On a similar note (x-post, nothing against angry babies), people who, when you ask them to repeat something a second time, say it in the exact same way as they did the first two times. I get that when you answer the same question many times every day, you end up running the words together, but when I've asked what you said more than once, ffs put some kind of minimal break between each word, and/or enunciate better, I'm obviously not getting what you're saying.

add to that those people who say it quietly the first time, exactly as quietly the second time, then SCREAM it the third time like it's your fault they've been whispering

^^^^ yes, this, though I've admittedly done it now and then.

What I hate is when you start to talk quiet because you're obviously trying to keep something on the d/l, and then the other person REPEATS IT LOUDLY as a question?

i.e.

me: (quiet) let's try to keep it quiet, the boss is kind of cranky today
other person: THE BOSS IS KIND OF CRANKY TODAY? WHY?

also

'don't look but famous person behind you'
'FAMOUS PERSON WHERE WHERE IS FAMOUS PERSON OMG FAMOUS PERSON'

i sometimes am talking to people on the phone at work and i feel like they take a while to register what i say, and then by the time they say something i've moved on to saying something else so they are constantly interrupting me or making me feel like i'm rudely talking over them, but i think these are just idiots using bluetooth headsets! it's so annoying!!!

Talking on the telephone finds ways to make me IA almost every day. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it.

Hey look. It's the door, the first door over and the second door over.

― pplains, Tuesday, January 24, 2012 3:53 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this feels like an SAT question and it makes me nervous

People who post self-aggrandizing crap on Facebook like:

--"I gotta be the one guy to come right out and say it -- <insert name> sucks"
--"I know I'll catch a heap of shit for this, but I don't like <insert name>"

Oh you brave person for taking an internet stand against a piece of media other people like, for being the ONE SOLITARY VOICE OF REASON (when usually they're one of many who have already criticized whatever it is).

also tired of people whining about FB Timeline simply cuz IT'S NOT THE OLD PROFILE SETTING and WE DIDN'T ASK FOR CHANGE, FACEBOOK.

Sunny and I also disagree on how many vowels there are and whether Scotland is an actual country.

^^^ topical (not the vowels)

Fucking new TVs that don't have an obvious "off" button. Or any obvious buttons.

Every night, I have to turn the light on and get down on a knee to see the little http://www.microsoft.com/global/windowsphone/en-us/PublishingImages/howto/wp7/inline/hardware-icon-power-button.png imprint on the side of the TV. And I have to remember that < and > are volume buttons and +and - are channel buttons (or is it the other way around?)

I could use the remote control, but God only knows which couch cushion the rugrat hid that under.

Trying to similtatiously field calls at work on both a cell phone, your desk phone and yet have conference call going via live meeting on your pc. Yeah I don't like that.

Having to use a pen that writes in a color other than black makes me IA

I flooded our office with blue pens b/c:

1. It's easier to tell original signatures from copies that way
2. We print PDFs reports from our other office w/ hand-written notes on them, and the blue ink makes clear which are our notes.

Mostly #1 b/c no one wants to argue w/ a crabby clerk who refuses to believe you aren't trying to scam the Illinois court system by passing off a photocopy as an original.

3. Blue is pretty

Those are damn good points. I feel even more comfortable about the irrationality of my anger now.

lololol point geddit

I prfer writing in blue too. Hmmm... poll?

People who watch Man Vs Food

i hate blue ink and it makes me IA but i work in the lowest possible court and do my own filing so if i accidentally filed a photocopy no one would give a shit

When people send me documents as word attachments instead of DMS links.

Me: I am...
Them: You, yes...
Me: I am holding...
Them: Oh yes, holding, yes I see
Me: ...a banana...
Them: Oh a banana, yes, okay
Me: ...in my...
Them: Oh yes, a banana, yes, you are holding it, yes...
Me: ...in my...
Them: In your hand, yes, in your hand yes

― Autumn Almanac (Schlafsack), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 6:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Love Mamet's early work.

(applause) Nicely done!

Why Microsoft created a Windows Explorer and an Internet Explorer is beyond me, except it makes life hellish when I'm trying to assist someone getting on our FTP site.

Fucking standing ovations. Remember when these were actually a sort of rare event, before every Tom, Dick and Harry earned one for just breathing?

^this. And if you don't stand with everyone else, you sometimes get dirty looks.

(also xxp thanks!)

that has happened at every free orchestral concert i've been to — probably because the people seeing it don't usually go to concerts and think it's what they're supposed to do

And if you don't stand with everyone else, you sometimes get dirty looks.

Oh yes, this. I was at some minor local orchestra thing with my wife and the audience was standing after every single piece. The first two times I stayed in my seat, along with a fairly loud "oh come on" during the second one. The lady sitting next to me glared at me through the rest of the evening, then told me at the end that I was disrespectful for not "properly applauding the performers who've worked so hard".

I hate hate hate it when you make a benign comment in a social context and somebody responds really weirdly or unconventionally or dismissively and you're left with the lingering doubt and shame of having made a faux pas even though all evidence points to the fact that you did nothing wrong.

As in saying over lunch to coworkers "I really love blueberries," and being met with "Yeah, whatever."

he was probably violently allergic to blueberries

Or was Violet Beauregard.