which characteristic you really can't stand in other people?

Do Americans care too much about waiters?
I guess it's the whole tipping culture thingy.

lol honestly the image of a mom putting on a dog-and-pony waitress act for dessert just cracked me the eff up

i care a lot about customer service - i'm in a customer servie field and i'm a damn good customer service representative. i have my standards :-)

I just want my waiter to take my order and then leave a pitcher of water at my table so they don't have to worry about refilling (I ask them to do this bcz I am Thirsty Girl), then bring my check quickly. Good service that is considerate and polite, basically. Not like try to be my special time love way.

the check thing kills me. it's like i'm full, i wanna leave!!!

Sometimes a waitress's solicitude is the only love we get.

That is one bittersweet statement.

Well, it's true! So a waitress's genuine warmth is important! It's nurture!
I love Southern friendly/chattiness. Coastal New England crusty indifference is crap.

the check thing kills me. it's like i'm full, i wanna leave!!!

Or, I'd like to decide when I leave, not leave it up to the whims of the waitstaff.

Abbott OTM. I do not want the waiter to be my buddy. I do not want the manager to stop by unannounced to see how the day is going (yo, fucko, we were talking now - now scoot). I just want my food and drinks. Doesn't even have to be fast or completely correct - close is good.
You be cordial but uninvolved, I do the same, I'll leave you 25%, we all go home happy.

God, you guys are COLD. I may be full of hate, but I'm full of love, too. Perhaps I'm, I don't know. Insane?

Or just operatic.

at the risk of inciting the wrath of Remy:
being overly Christian

I don't like people with Jesus bumper stickers and t-shirts and who genuinely believe that one day God is going to come back and battle the Antichrist and everything. They creep me out. I don't like being around them.

sames.

"I'm a bigot, I know, but for the left."

Sometimes a waitress's solicitude is the only love we get.

this is amazing. thank you Beth!

I like when cars/SUVs have those big bumper stickers that say "IN CASE OF RAPTURE, CAR'S YOURS!" I think it is the only way I'll get a nice car someday.

to all the waiter-love haters: sometimes the reverse is also true - i just want to come take your damn order, smile and leave you to it, but goddamnit if some people want to give you their WHOLE life story and all their problems and tragedies. dude, i'll be your therapist, but i want a goddamn THERAPIST'S WAGE so i'll be sure to add $100 to your bill, k??

Oh no kidding, this is also why I wouldn't be a hairstylist.

don't get me wrong, i'm good at my job - really good (i.e. i know when and when not to be friendly with ppl) - but sometimes i wish i could wear headphones at work.

hairstylists can be so much fun - i just found a regular, Rose, and last time i went, it was right out of a show, talkin to the other ladies about their bla bla bla. actually it was mostly about tennis, french cup final, but this one older woman was complaining about her walk to the pharmacy.

Ruby when i get a really good waitress i tip and smile big!!

i mean, waitER...

I overtip as a rule. It's not much more out of my pocket and if everyone did it waiting on tables would actually provide a comfortable living wage, as it should. It's the highest-stress work out there, and waiters shouldn't have to have some annoying roommate in order to make the rent.

i <3 beth and surmounter. i need more customers like you.

and america needs more waitresses like me...

milo, i hate that i've get the rep of being the crypto-religion-defender on the board: i'm (embarrassedly) an ex-religion-basher myself, and now a committed agnostic with a thin skin for the type of BS behavior i usta pull. a few years ago i was very invested in arguing from an existentialist-naturalist perspective about the primacy and immediacy of empirical experience and the observable world, the social controls of religion and the historical efficacy of imposing magical beliefs - blah, blah, blah - until i realized i was occasionally prostelytizing intolerance of thought. but i've never meant to imply that i don't think there's merit in many of those arguments, just sometimes in the application of those arguments to demean other people.

fwiw i totally agree with you on in-your-face christianity being one of the most irritating things ever. especially in traffic jams. nothing like being stuck on the 405 for two hours behind a guy with a bumper sticker that says 'love your fellow man' and 'jesus saves' and thinking that if jesus were so good he'd get me out of the fucking pollution right now, and back home to my dog.

and america needs more waitresses like me...

Amen, sister.

CRUNCHY ALMOND BUTTER on toast pwns all.

As to the thread question ... um, stupidity? Snobbishness? Dogmatism? Self-absorption? Gang mentality? Emotional excess in a learned-helplessness, look-at-me style? (I am guilty of all of these at times.) If I narrow it down any more than that I'll be here all night, fizzing with hatred. Fascinating answers, though.

oooh the last one is baaaaad

CRINCHY almond butter sounds ridICULOUS

if jesus were so good he'd get me out of the fucking pollution right now, and back home to my dog.

Hmmmmm, that sounds like you sort of have a feeling of entitlement.

wow this thread is making me realize i am pretty much perfect! :) :) YAY!!!

but really, what i hate is when people decide they want to say something insightful with the stem of their eyewear posed inquisitively near/in their mouth - GRODEY, ugh!!!

No particular order:

1) Men who seem to think they're onstage at a comedy club and think that every single comment, question, or observation that occurs within earshot needs a comeback, remark, or putdown.
Don't get me wrong: I love good comedy, but I'm sure even Bill Hicks knew when to shut up and let others carry the conversation. Hanging out with a Jerry Seinfeld wannabe is fucking exhausting.

2) People who genuinely believe that their taste in music, art, or movies makes them more intelligent than the general populace.

3) Fanboys who complain bitterly that their favorite comic book wasn't properly adapted for the big screen. Spiderman and the like aren't made for hardcore comics fans, they're made for people who like to go to the movies, and and no amount of whining about "story arcs" and "multiple universes" is going to change that.

i don't like it when people take pride in never regretting anything; some things in life are regrettable. also, claiming that it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't, doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

i don't like it when people take pride in never regretting anything; some things in life are regrettable. also, claiming that it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't, doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

-- estela, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 11:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Agreed. Regret is part of being human. So are foresight and hindsight.

conformity, i don't like.

it bugs me when people (usually youngish girls, by which I mean under 30) feign a carefree, uninhibited manner and do things like start to do the hoky-poky when they know a boy is watching -- or just that anybody is watching. Acting in a way that says, "look at me; i'm cute" and you can tell that the person is watching themselves and wanting to be watched. Like many things that bug me, I think I used to do this.

I am bugged by those who talk and act as if they care the most about "tolerance" but think that primetime TV-watchers are brainwashed idiots and that basically everybody who doesn't mirror their habits are idiots. They have clearly defined ideas about high and low art/culture but would never confess to being snobs. Whatever they read or watch has to have a social message or lesson. These are the people who talk about how bad racism and inequality are and then make comments like, "you should just hire a Brazilian and pay them nothing to do that paintwork for you."

I am bugged by those who resent everyone else for what they have.

People who think that things are the most important, well, things, bug me. You know those people who have to have the very best set of knives even though they don't really cook or who care very very much about watches or sunglasses, who seem to fill their lives with a pursuit for products.

I don't hate any of the above, they just bug me.

I really dislike anyone in the service industry, be they a builder, plumber, waiter, taxi driver, delivery person, or anyone else who tells me outright lies about a) how much the thing they're serving me with is going to cost or b) how long it's going to take. I'm not a moron. I'd much rather somebody said "it will cost €8000 and take a month, because one of my guys is on holidays and I've got another job on at the moment, so I can't start till I finish that" than say "it'll cost €2000 and be done in a week", but then actually cost €8000 and take a month. Just like if someone loses my order or just fucks it up, I'd rather they just apologised and put it right than made up some fake kitchen fire or something.

accentmonkey v v otm!

i don't like it when people take pride in never regretting anything; some things in life are regrettable. also, claiming that it is better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't, doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

-- estela, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 11:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

Agreed. Regret is part of being human. So are foresight and hindsight.

-- Tantrum The Cat, Wednesday, August 8, 2007 4:35 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I don't like this either. I actually have a sort of distrust for people who are cocksure of their own goodness or rightness in general.

This may be because I know I spend time feeling guilty or feeling as though I could be a better person or regretting things, but nonetheless it bugs me when others never seem to do this.

I also really don't like people who are really cock sure of weird personal prejudices. I have a friend who, if you're relating an anecdote about somebody, would say "where (in Dublin) are they from" and when you said he'd be like "ah right" and nod to himself as if that explained it.

With people like this I sort of think "what box do I go into?" since presumably some sort of prefab exists for everybody's behaviour.

It's a little like psycho-analysing people or something, like "he's from this background therefore he behaves this way" but it seems really narrow and shitty to me. I don't know if others do this but it's a trait that bugs me hugely!

i spend a lot of time feeling guilty as well, what is that about?

doesn't recognise that some things are best not done because the cost (to self and/or others) is too high.

Is this the same as regret though?

Regret: 1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss

I've done plenty of things in hindsight I wish I wouldn't have. But I think regret's a useless emotion. It's like worrying about something out of your control. I look at past mistakes as lessons to be learned and move on, hopefully not to repeat them.

(when those mistakes truly hurt others, then that would be a different story)

Men who seem to think they're onstage at a comedy club and think that every single comment, question, or observation that occurs within earshot needs a comeback, remark, or putdown.

Ack, so OTM. Worse when they actually cut you off (even if you're talking to someone else) just so they can make their stupid comments.

regret is one thing, guilt and shame are another
xpost

i mean, i regret but in a 'how can i learn from that and not do something similarly ugh', as sam's said above

People who try to elicit sympathy/praise at every possible opportunity.

Overly critical people who feel like it is somehow their moral right or even duty to constantly offer unsolicited "advice" to people they may or may not even know. (And usually this advice says a great deal more about their own experiences, state of mind and faults that it ever does the person being criticised.)

But I think regret's a useless emotion. It's like worrying about something out of your control.

I think I disagree with this, but I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing. I agree that it's a waste to worry about things that are completely out of one's control, but what if it's something that would have been in my control if I'd been paying better attention? It's my experience that there are very few things that affect me personally that are completely out of my control. This makes me a control freak and a nitpicker, but I generally don't have to worry about regret, cause, at least, I took care of my end of things.

I guess that leads me to another answer to the thread question: holy fools who wander blindly through life and leave it to the anal-retentives like me to take care of the details.

For "blindly," read "blithely" if you prefer.

what if it's something that would have been in my control if I'd been paying better attention?

But again, this is in the past and you're worrying cannot change those outcomes. The best you can do is figure how you could have handled the situation better and try to apply that to the future rather than use your mental energy revisiting past mistakes.