Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

death to wide open leg jerks!

i had a dude next to me at a football game who did it alll the time fpr the whole game, AND arms across the back of the chairs, draped over his gitlfriend like some kind of vine.
But the legs. Like, dude, I don't care how big you think your junk is, get away from me! I had to keep nudging him away, it was gross.

There is a sleazeball attorney in the building I work in who almost daily causes problems in our parking lot. It is a very small lot with very cramped spaces, all of which are reserved for tenants. This jackass apparently tells his clients to park in open spots, and when someone complains, the building management calls him and he asks them if they can use another space. Besides his clients, there is the fact that he drives a massive, hideous orange H2, which barely fits in a parking space when parked carefully, and which he usually parks at odd angles, making other spaces unusable.

Today he must have been feeling especially carefree b/c he parked in TWO spaces, neither of which were his. When management called him, he said he was in a deposition, and could the owners of those spaces park elsewhere?

asdjfk;'salkdjf;nf;aknf

ticket the guy?

loosen every bolt on his vehicle so that when he gets in it collapses around him?

He's a tiny, sleazy man who lives up to the Napoleon syndrome stereotype in every way. And he wears outrageous suits and has long flowing hair and a pinky ring. >:(

xp - it's a private lot. This guy is a terrible bully and apparently the battle over parking is the least of management's worries w/ this guy.

pee on his desk

xxpost lol darragh I misread that as "tickle the guy?"

lololol

Also, his office is on the 2nd floor (1st floor for you Brits in the audience), and it's a regular thing that when I'm leaving for the day, the elevator will stop at 2 because he called it without checking which floor it's on, then takes the stairs 1 flight down. I know this b/c sometimes when it stops at 2, I see him exiting the stairwell as I get off the elevator.

Second the tickling solution.

def tickle him

tickle his face with your fists

Also, his office is on the 2nd floor (1st floor for you Brits in the audience)
AAAAAGJGKFHDNRFVTDFGFGGNH IA IA IA IA IA IA

Sounds like he needs a bumper sticker.

http://www.libertystickers.com/static/images/productimage-picture-only_an_asshole_would_park_like_this-44.gif

Also, his office is on the 2nd floor (1st floor for you Brits in the audience)
AAAAAGJGKFHDNRFVTDFGFGGNH IA IA IA IA IA IA

Why??!

Australians also can't count stories in a building.

it's not just brits ffs

brits and brit jrs

or is brits jr?

Do Canadians do that too?

Sorry AA, I was TRYING to be culturally sensitive, but I went and ruined everything ;__;

It is as though the shame will outlive me.

<3 je55e, I know you mean well etc, but when americans (no other country seems to do this btw) hear about something they don't do and assume it's 'british'

i genuinely dgi

and as this is the ia thread

Well the whole practice of not numbering the first floor is obviously complete dumb, we probably just expect better from Australians tbh.

oh it's definitely dumb, no question

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storey

Some American high-rise buildings follow the British system, often out of a desire on the part of the building's architect or owners to suggest a posh UK/ European setting[citation needed].

dying

Canadians are perfectly capable of counting floors, FYI.

It's not stupid. It is the first floor up, the second floor up, the third floor up, etc.

http://student.rio.edu/s627570/lets-make-a-deal-doors.jpg

Hey look. It's the door, the first door over and the second door over.

Well, no, because you're not standing in Door #1.

If you were standing in one doorway and were presented with three doors in order, they are the first, second and third doors. The doorway you are standing in is the start-point.

No, I'm standing in the parking lot looking for that asshole lawyer guy.

What if you weren't standing in the building when you said it?

lol, PP.

Laurel, it is generally assumed that you will enter the building at ground level. From there, you need to work out how many floors you go up. It's the same principle.

basement is the second floor, sub-basement is the first floor, ground floor is ground floor, second floor is third floor

emil.y I see your point, but logically it's just as easy (if not easier) to say that the floor you enter is the first as you enter the building.

i think what we're getting at here is that all language is wrong and horrible

Laurel, it is generally assumed that you will enter the building at ground level.

Again, not saying you're wrong in any way, but when a building on a slope has a ground floor and a lower ground floor, people's heads can explode.

I mean there are places with LG, then G, them M for god's sake (mezzanine), then 1, 2, 3 etc.

Where I work it goes concourse, ground, second, third, etc.

It is a small cruel sport of mine to watch visitors guess whether they want the ground (where you exit the building) or the concourse (where you encounter the food court) and choose poorly.

Like if you had a committee, right now, determining how best to number floors, they would probably decide (after some power lunches) that numbering them 1–n is most logical and easiest to standardise across building types.

Laurel, it is generally assumed that you will enter the building at ground level.

Pointing to the fact that this system may have made more sense when 90% of building entries were, in fact, on the ground floor. In the age of interconnected buildings this is just not true

On the concourse level, my building connects to a system of awesome underground pathways leading to numerous other buildings.

In China (dayo will correct me if I am wrong) they start with 1 (i.e. no G) but many also skip 4 altogether because evil, so what they call the 5th floor is what you would call the 4th floor and what we would call the 3rd floor.

('you' being anyone who doesn't do G floors)

A lot of US buildings skip the 13th floor or did so traditionally, right?

Yeah, I think loads of western places do that

It's certainly something that was supposed to happen, but I'm not sure how many people actually did that.

(Also I would say G and LG would be even more confusing if labelled as 1 and 2 - at least with 'lower ground' you are given an indication that the building is of a funny layout.)