Best snippet of overheard conversation

"... I would be the guy bashing down the doors and you would be the promiscuous tomboy..."

^snippet overheard between two forty-something men.

― ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 10:31 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

man those guys are living life

those guys are tory mp's

Girl at next table in restaurant: "He said he would die for me, so I said 'go on then, die!'"

"her boyfriend came home and caught her drowning the youngest in the bath"
O_o

Is it wrong to hope it was a kitten?

That happened in LA a day or two ago (mother tries to drown her two kids - one dead, one in extremely critical condition). Probably talking about the news story.

Could be, but it sounded like she was talking about someone she knew. This was in Glasgow btw

http://www.ksee24.com/news/local/Mother-Snaps-Tries-to-Drown-Children-While-Father-Away-139456808.html

Fucking hell :(

Queuing out side a nightclub in Peterborough, circa 2000. Girl to her friend (thinking nobody could hear) "I could do with some cock in me tonight"

I was at Saver's today, and as "Genius of Love" played over the PA, one employee said to another, "That's the last time I ever James Brown with you."

i wish i could have heard more, but busy pavement etc

big burly guy in suit
"Nobodies fishing it, and nobodies blogging their tits off!"

(he could have meant phishing, who can tell)

"It was ridiculous. They wanted me to write to ask for permission to get married in the church just because I had never been baptised or been a practising Catholic."

Woman on train not getting the ridiculous bit of that situation.

"Is Robert Johnson dead?"
"I don't think I know him."
"Used to play up the golf club, bit of a fuckin' lunatic..."
"You mean Ronnie Johnson?"
"Aye, Ronnie."
"Aye, he's deid."

shame, how norway could use him now

few years back in Dublin I saw this couple exiting a shop, and as the man opened his wallet he said to the woman: "well... it's either baby food or cigarettes".

"Don't fucking phone me again until I can hear you!"

"Oh you mean Atlantic City? I meant at the bus stop."

"Either way, he's definitely going to be deported."

"The last thing I remember, you were wearing a hockey mask, talking about Frosted Flakes."

(guy on phone in break room)

"I didn't kill nobody's husband, and I sure as hell didn't ask for John the Baptist's head on a stick"

woman in a small crowd outside of a church in Philadelphia

"I heard you was beatin' people up for oranges."

"It's a good thing I did go to jail. If I would have married her I'd have strangled her." (That one not quite verbatim. I was trying to keep track of too much, since the material kept coming.)

I live in kind of a rough neighborhood of Albuquerque, but it's not really that rough. Really. I wouldn't be here still if I felt threatened. I don't walk around at night though.

New neighbors. I'm not sure my landlord's mom does as good a job vetting new tenants as my landlord does.

"I heard you was beatin' people up for oranges."

lol

Also something like: "All I do now is kick it and blaze."

I think the guy he was talking to just got out of jail so it actually makes a little sense.

(said angrily, in an office-lunch type pub) "I'm *not* German and how do you know my name?"

heard a few years ago. still try to figure it out from time to time.

"...and then my therapist got in a car accident. It seems like everyone I get close to...everyone I touch... Well, thank you. Have a good morning. "

Guy in my office cafeteria, to the cashier.

LOL

10 am this morning on Whitechapel Road, London. A guy in his 60s with four of his front teeth missing, shouting down his mobile "Just put a gun in his mouf and rob him!"

I almost died, there was blood coming out of my ass. And he was like "don't shit in front of my house!"

fizzles could it have been "no I'm *germam* but how did you know my name?"

german

"It was so good I wanted to, like, motorboat the cheesecake."

woman in my office

high school girl to friend on the E train in Queens:

"Ranjit only got into Sarah Lawrence. Do you even know what Sarah Lawrence is?! It's like this college for rich kids who aren't dedicated."

I need to get my eyes checked. I keep shouting "Hey, bitch!" but then it's some cunt I don't even know

Love that this thread exists. A couple faves:

Mid-2000s, the mall, two 50/60something ladies: "I used to think Katie Holmes was a nice girl, but who knew she'd turn out to be such a nosebag."

A year-ish ago, the cafeteria at my university, two maintenance workers: "Yup, so many abortions that should've happened."

Just caught my own typo (autocorrect?). "Nosebag" should read "hosebag." Though overhearing someone call Katie Holmes a "nosebag" would also be memorable.

several times at work today I thought about a 50/60 something lady calling Katie Holmes a nosebag, I'm disappointed to find out it may never have happened.

I'm in the States:

Guy on phone:

'Yes, we have to show we're a millionaire company. He got his haircut, he's gonna wear a blazer, nice slacks. I'm getting a haircut right now, I'm at Supercuts'.

I seriously wish the entire world could be listening to this guy talk on his mobile phone.

Howd u get on?

(loud voice) 63, its bollox, he gave me 0 for 2 part ii and i know for a fact that-

Oh 2 part ii, the gaussian elimination?

......................
................ whats gaussian elimination

haha

20-something woman on subway, to friend: "To be honest I tried so many different kinds of beers and shots on St. Patrick's day that I wasn't even in control anymore, that was Jesus."

"I couldn't work in an office, that's not a real man's job!"

:(

"Is there a such a thing as tri-polar? Because I think..."

(Midwestern twang) "David BOOwie?? I don't know ANYBODY likes David Boowie!"

"That German dude? I would go elbow deep in that bitch."

There used to be and possibly still is a site called Overheard in Dublin.
Unfortunately despite starting as a very laugh out loud selection it got progressively diluted by banal shite taht just happened to be overheard.
It has put out a number of related books, I picked one up from a charity shop and it was a dozeathon. But I think the 1st one was good.

But yeah have heard a number of things that you wish you heard the context for over the years.

"... So I watch her gamble, but she has to watch me shop."