Kenny Dalglish Won't Be Delivering the Module: English Premiership 2011-12

Suggest nicknaming the British Olympic football team, the Werewolves of London

that would provoke a great hairstyle from beckham I'm sure

"We are like Arsenal. We've got good players, we always say we're going to win. And we miss out." - Ivory Coast won't win the African Cup of Nations 2012

Would suggest something tasteless about Togo parking the bus but won't.

the pundit's reserve league: acn 2012

wld be more appropriate if togo were in it

gotta embrace the rich culture of African football stereotypes somehow.

Nigeria would be here but the grandkids are visiting: ACN 2012.

Natural ability, defensive naïvety and smiles on their faces: it's Euro 2012

idgi grandkids

nigerian players are thought to be a lot older than their passport suggests and the joke suggests they are so old they have grandkids.

ah ok i thought it was a 'grandfather rule' joke

That's actually really racist btw

when i saw the david de gea eye surgery story i was going to say "fucking black cunt", but couldn't decide if that would be racist or not. probably yes.

Fancy Chelsea to win comfortably today, shame Romeu isn't playing though.

Morison and Holt are a proper old school strike partnership

torres so tentative when latching onto that thru-ball

like shearer/sutton with less talent
xp

Maybe the weirdest thing about Torres is either around 1 or 2, or 8 or 9, on the Klata Scale, and almost never in between:

0 takes it early, rolls pitifully wide
1 poor touch, goalie gathers
2 dallies, defender gets back to make tackle
3 shoots low, like an idiot, into the goalkeeper's legs
4 blazes wide
5 good save by keeper, raises eyes heavenwards
6 as for 3, but somehow goes through goalie's legs
7 places beyond keeper's dive
8 little dink
9 takes it round the keeper, strokes home
10 round the keeper, blasts home from a yard, roars through the net
11 round the keeper, screws wide from unnecessarily tight angle, massive grin

good from nando there. close.

that was unlucky

Lukaku hasn't gone out on loan has he? Can't be good for his development to be stuck in the reserves.
lampard fails to get me any fantasy points as he limps off. malouda on which i find a bit surprising, did essien not make the bench today?

oh i see that both essien and lukaku are on the bench

but not gary cahill

are the norwich dug outs too small to house the requisite number of subs/medical staff/coaches? Lampard sat off to the side on a yellow office chair.

symbolic

no fouls in the first half apparently #they'vetacklingouttathegame

taken tackling out of the game I meant

that was dire from torres. should have hit it first time.

Crikey, this is Torres' worst run in England? I thought he was on the mend?

Have kinda moved from wanting him to do well to fascinated to how long he can go without scoring

Lukaku was a beast there. His physique is aesthetically hideous, but you can see how it could be useful.

RobertBodsworth on Twitter: "Can't stand people having a go at Torres, he's a gentleman of football and a class act on the pitch."

lololol

loooooool

i used to be friends with a guy by that name at school. moved to northampton when we were about 12. don't think it would be the same dude, as the Bodsworth I knew would rip on people without a moments warning.

Always glad to see Chelsea drop points. We are def. going to need other teams to be crappier than us, rather than us being better than other.

Ugh otm. Arsenal dropped so many stupid points already this season. Some things never change

The decent thing to do would be to decline the fourth CL slot altogether

So Arsenal won't win the Europa League '12-'13? I'll pass.

Still rather see them not winning the CL

Reading that Willian is close to a Chelsea move - have always liked him for Shakhtar in CL matches. Would be a natural Malouda replacement I guess, & let Mata play through the center?

Again, a more technical replacement for a Jose signing? They really are trying to build the team around Torres and the Spanish, which is lol.

sweet sweet strike by sessegnon

Again, a more technical replacement for a Jose signing? They really are trying to build the team around Torres and the Spanish, which is lol.

In fairness it's only lol because Torres is the top of it. There's the makings of an excellent Spanish-style midfield in there somewhere.

hey Tim Cahill scored finally

Off a Fellaini handball.

yeah, was farcical. PRob looked as much like a beached whale defending it as any GK I've seen too.

Again, a more technical replacement for a Jose signing? They really are trying to build the team around Torres and the Spanish, which is lol.

In fairness it's only lol because Torres is the top of it. There's the makings of an excellent Spanish-style midfield in there somewhere.

― Matt DC, Saturday, 21 January 2012 15:22 (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

otm but it is still a sizeable joke

Lovely strike by Guthrie, 1-0 Newcastle. Some wild wind at the Cottage today, a couple of passes have veered off course then crazily lashed into the stands.

Bob Keane with a smart finish; not sure why I didn't put money on that

filthy foreigner Andrej Johnson waving an imaginary card after Santon hauled him down as last man just before half time; conduct not remarked on by the commentary

1-1 after Santon fouled Duff, probably just outside the box but you can't really complain imo

2-1 Fulham while I was off getting a drink, pah

3-1, Deuce, unchallenged run through the middle (actually quite well worked, long punt notwithstanding)