Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

He has the highest hair:surface area ratio I have ever seen on a human.

His chestscaping drove Brees and the other Saints to kick the Colts' ass (asses?) in Superbowl MXLOLETC.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/18740_299133084641_508339641_3266735_6530835_n.jpg

dang

I had an Albanian friend in college who was probably the hairiest guy I've ever seen. Gorgeous, but his body hair was like a layer of felt, it was incredible. He asked me and my friends to wax his shoulders so he could wear an off the shoulder dress for a guys-dress-as-girls costume party. (lol college) Oh god the poor guy was in so much pain. Very similar to the 40 YO Virgin waxing scene, but with way more hair.

I lived across the hall from a guy during my first semester of college that, I kid you not, smelled kind of like a wet dog when coming back from the showers due to the amazing amount of hair he had. His name was Dane.

Moving away from body hair, I hate search boxes and the like with text like 'Search' in them, that doesn't disappear when you click on them to put in your own search terms, so you end up searching for things like 'Discosearchgs'

^^^ http://www.washingtonpost.com/

things like 'Discosearchgs'

ha yes discogs does this to me too

GRRR yes I hate that

I knew a dude in college who had to decide every time he shaved where the beard stopped and the chest hair began - there was a straight line in this wall of hair running across his neck point that tended to vary up and down a bit.

A friend who identifies as an otter

I'm really sorry to sound so dumb here, but is this something in queer terminology? I'm assuming you dont mean he's a furry. I feel really dumb asking :/

A gay man who is very hairy all over his body, but is smaller in frame and weighs considerably less than a bear.

Huh.

--people who say "I threw up a little in my mouth".

Moving away from body hair, I hate search boxes and the like with text like 'Search' in them, that doesn't disappear when you click on them to put in your own search terms, so you end up searching for things like 'Discosearchgs'

― Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Friday, 20 January 2012 05:15 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Popsike has a search box, basically the page part-loads, then the final thing it does is to clear the search box, even though you have already typed most of what you are searching for, and you hit 'return' and it says "no entries for ture"

boomkat's search box does that predictive thing where it fills in suggestions as you type. but hitting return now just accepts its suggestion and doesn't submit the search. so you have to hit return again.

lol Jeff staying abreast of gay terminology

I am all knowing. Or I know how to use urban dictionary.

Candied peel really pisses me off.

Being trapped in slow lane of traffic & jerks keep pulling out behind you and goddammit just GET ME OUTTA HERE ;_;

--people who say "I threw up a little in my mouth".

yeah all these terms that probably came from Will Ferrell movies are so annoying, especially when people say things like "I want to kill him...IN THE FACE!!!"

also all the Facebook statuses that refer to inanimate objects or concepts, like "Dear Chemistry Class, I don't like studying for you, Sincerely, Fuckhead"

people who say "I threw up a little in my mouth".

think i wrote this somewhere last night, sorry! i didn't realize it was from a movie

Actually, iirc, the stupid "threw up in my mouth" thing came from one of the Austin Powers movies (but, oh wait, Will Ferrell was in one of those wasn't he?).

yeah all these terms that probably came from Will Ferrell movies are so annoying, especially when people say things like "I want to kill him...IN THE FACE!!!"

Heh heh heh. Classic frogbs.

oh, i thought it was from Anchorman, or Dodgeball? was he in Dodgeball? ahh well once again I'm probably completely wrong

Actually, iirc, the stupid "threw up in my mouth" thing came from one of the Austin Powers movies (but, oh wait, Will Ferrell was in one of those wasn't he?).

First time I heard it was in Zoolander.

Every time someone says it to me I say, "That's weird; I just threw up a little in your mouth, too." Confusion ensues, annoying co-worker walks away.

anyway its just a function of some people who are just completely unable to express anything without it being a quote from some movie or some stupid turn of phrase, like the people who still say things like *Borat accent* "VERY NIACE HIGH FIVE!"

I thought "I just threw up a little in your mouth" came from Friends.

I mean to say, that's where I first heard it. Phoebe said it.

When someone in front of me at the supermarket checkout is not bagging his stuff quickly enough. That REALLY pisses me of.

OK, people who post on facebook "I miss your face"

keep reading this as "innocuous things that make you irrationally hungry"

Phone books piss me off. I understand that people old, poor, or technophobic people w/out internet access need them, but:

1. Nobody needs 2 or 3 different ones from different publishers! And then there are the specialty ones, for a neighborhood or for certain businesses.

2. There must be some way to make them opt-in. Twice a year or more, the lobby of my building looks like this

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/216281_1970052773553_1309983927_32287007_6947670_n.jpg/

and most of the books sit there for a week, then they get thrown away (not even recycled, thanks to Chicago's backward and unenforced recycling program).

It's irritating me now b/c a phone book guy came to my office to drop off two copies of Yellowbook brand Yellow Pages and Business White Pages.

Normally they ask for a business card to prove to their employers they delivered them and I was going to turn him away, but he snuck them in this time.

And then once a month the elevator at my apartment building has its period

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/284944_2284224067639_1309983927_32655914_140336_n.jpg

(that's vomit, I think)

maybe a miniature version of The Shining happened

That's exactly what I thought!

So glad no neighbors saw me taking snapshots. I was all hunkering down and standing on a chair to get an interesting shot.

Your building looks nice, Je55!

Thanks. It's an old hotel from the 1910s. My landlord did research and found that it had some Capone connections.

It's got a gate elevator, which is cool.

Keep finding an old dead lady lolling in my tub tho.

not innocuous but STUPID:

I am writing a fluff piece for a mag which entails getting recipes from local restaurants.

STUUUUUPID marketing chick from a wh0l3f00ds just sent me, i shit you not, a runon list of ingredients for soup. no measurements, no method.
They have fucked me around for two weeks to get this thing, and THAT is what you send? Every email from me has been, hey can I get the **recipe**?

what
the
fick

*fuck

headdesk.gif

Reply to that marketing person and copy her boss and explain to her what a recipe is.

It is snowing pretty persistently outside, and the streets and sidewalks are in that awesome in-between state when not everybody has gone out to salt/shovel/plow yet so things in the downtown area are messy. On the two block walk back to the office from lunch:

1. A Fed Ex truck made a right turn while I had the crosswalk light, cutting me off and throwing dirty snow on me.
2. A woman proceeded into the intersection when she could not clear it, and the light turned, and we pedestrians crossed, and she sat in the middle of the intersection HONKING AND GESTICULATING FURIOUSLY at the pedestrians. I flipped her the bird because I'm a giant child.
3. A cab kept inching forward onto the crosswalk, despite having a red light, which didn't cause any harm but did make me really nervous, especially because the state of the streets mean you've got to do the slushy shufflewalk to avoid taking a fall.

And in conclusion PHONEBOOKS ARE THE WORST. We have bags of them on our front steps and now they are wet and disgusting because I didn't carry them in last night because I said to myself, "I'm not going to carry these heavy phone books into the house just to carry them back out to the trash again." Related: our neighbors nevereverevereverever pick up their phone books/junk mail circulars, but just kick them over to our side of the stairs.

This could probably be cross-indexed to the annoying coworker thread, but. This guy I work with is constantly starting and continuing conversations with "so, anyway...". Which is fine sometimes, but this guy uses it all the time. The irrational anger part came in today when he walked over to my desk this morning and goes, "So anyway, this proposal I was looking at...". I HAVE NOT HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HIM IN OVER A WEEK.

enough with the 'd-will'-type nicknames already

Understood, m-proof.

J-ff

Acceptable.

only acceptable if you are a dragonrider j'ff