Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

IA: old white men* who treat me like a god damn secretary.

*Before you get your boxers in a twist, I am specifically speaking of the five old white men who do not work here yet who have come into my office asking me to type things, take messages, and deliver documents for them this morning.

People thinking the phrase "u mad" means "u crazy"

Wait, it doesn't?

instead of "old", "white", or "men", can you just say "particular individuals" next time?

Nope.

either way, nothing irrational about that

I thought "u mad" (meaning angry) originated from the camron/bill o reily interview but mYbe I'm wrong?

I thought it did too.

I have no idea! I just always read it as "crazy" unless the context clearly meant "angry." I'm realizing this turns on the presence of a question mark.

U mad? = are you angry?
U mad! = You're crazy!

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/166/323/tumblr_l8mr3lWtlB1qaobbko1_500.jpg

IA: old white men* who treat me like a god damn secretary.

I used to sit catty-corner to the office door of a top executive. He had a secretary who sat directly outside his door, but if she wasn't there, red-faced, fat-jowled old white men would come to my desk instead and ask me to do administrative stuff like check his appointments or answer his phone or etc. None of which I could even DO, because I DIDN'T WORK FOR HIM.

Bonus points for when they call you "Honey" or "Sweetie" or ask you to do them "a strawberry flavor."

or ask you to do them "a strawberry flavor"

WTF? Seriously?

laurel, you have worked for the worst sleazebags

I haven't, actually! But sales people are HOORRRRIBLE, and fat old white men who made their entire career in sales are the pond scum of the smarmy, oily earth.

Once when I was like 22 years old I saw a sales guy at the office I worked at give a sheaf of papers to one of our (female) web designers and ask her to fax them for him. I was like "Don't you know how to work the fax machine, man??" which completely humiliated him and I felt awesome. No I did not end up by putting the moves on the web designer. End of boasting story.

Wait, I have to take something back: I shouldn't have used the word "fat", that is totally wrong and unfair. It's not that they're heavy-set older gentlemen that makes them kind of gross. It's that they all have that florid complexion and sort of over-stuffed into their clothes look that suggests a heart attack is imminent. You get the feeling the most strenuous thing they do between whiskeys and porterhouse steaks is play a round of golf.

masters of the universe, emeritus

i.e. my old landlord, who told me he used to be 'a big goddamn cheese'

The dudes in question here are lawyers, which means they win the Unwarranted Entitlement sweepstakes like five times over. For these guys, pretty much anybody with boobs is fair game to demand administrative services from.

or ask you to do them "a strawberry flavor"

WTF? Seriously?

Yeah for real, there would be murder here.

The weird thing about these types is that most of them have very, very good nails

I still have to work with the strawberry flavor guy. He doesn't understand why I never accept his invitations to lunch.

frogbs is a treat, living in his world where taxi cabs magically never hit people and white, old men are an oppressed peoples

i am irrationally annoyed by knots in my armpit hair

(Ex) Sales director at my current company used to boss my wife around and ask her for cups of tea and stupid little favours like that.

He works at a competitor now and they wanted to get my wife in for an interview there but she told them to fuck off rather than work for that cunt again.

I get to hear details of Jenny's work stories and I get IE (Irrationally Enraged) about them. Fuck that dude. And fuck him for seeming like a pal rather than seeming like the POS he is.

xp - whoa.... i am irrationally annoyed by knots in my armpit hair

ime, the more a person of authority tries to pass themselves off as a "pal", the more likely they are to try to treat you like an indentured servant

how do you get knots in your armpit hair...

i dunno, by walking and moving my arms?

it's like how power/computer cords get mysteriously entangled in mere seconds, but in my armpits

how long are they? your pit hairs, i mean. not your arms. unless you're a simian, in which case: arm-length-relevant.

not terribly, i don't think, although i have neither measured it nor compared it to that of others

Knotted armpit hairs happens to me. I didn't think it was an uncommon thing.

frogbs is a treat, living in his world where taxi cabs magically never hit people and white, old men are an oppressed peoples

think your sarcasm meter is a wee bit busted

lots of hair conditioner & a comb...or scissors? what do you normally do for armpit hair knots? this would make me kinda ia too

I shaved one of my armpits once. was really hot and had no a/c so I remember it bothering me, then I guess in some half-asleep state I got up and shaved it. Felt good, man

"Alumni of [some college]" license plate frames

I don't know, those are a lot less annoying than those huge, ugly window stickers.

Yeah, same diff. I suppose

70.3/26.2/13.1 car stickers. Or even worse, ironman tattoos.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs304.ash2/58447_151996584829939_100000587944497_351639_6400361_n.jpg
??

RUNNING AS FAST AS THEY CAN
AMBIGRAM LIVES AGAIN!

can someone explain the stickers on cars that are a white oval with two black block letters in them? I thought they were to denote a state you'd visited but a lot of them aren't state abbreviations & it drives me a little batty trying to figure them out. I feel very daft.

"Alumni of [some college]" license plate frames

Oh god, this is really common in this area and it has to include some reference to the school mascot

University of Iowa plate with HWKFAN79 on it or something

the destination/airport code ones? (xp)

i thought it was countries visited but then i saw a "CHOC" one and now i don't know anymore

I think they are pretty much meaningless at this point and you can get them for any touristy thing or interest ever now.

it's just inside joek place abbreviations

like ppl who vacation on the outer banks of north carolina have OBX

can someone explain the stickers on cars that are a white oval with two black block letters in them? I thought they were to denote a state you'd visited but a lot of them aren't state abbreviations & it drives me a little batty trying to figure them out. I feel very daft.

yeah I've wondered a lot about this myself and never figured out what they meant. they have to represent more than one thing.

yeah they used to be for countries but these days you can get stuff like http://i1.cpcache.com/product/51601800/wtf_oval_stickers_bumper_stickers.jpg?height=160&width=160

xp

can someone explain the stickers on cars that are a white oval with two black block letters in them? I thought they were to denote a state you'd visited but a lot of them aren't state abbreviations & it drives me a little batty trying to figure them out. I feel very daft.

I think they're meant to emulate European country code stickers.

A friend of mine arranged some to spell out ME GA DE TH on his back bumper.

i think it started out as places visited, but kind of informally abbreviated? and now it's funny little catchphrases, school initials, food prefs, whatever.